Disinterested bride

Travis Cossel · January 6th, 2011, 12:45 PM

Michael, I personally would never lie to a couple (or anyone for that matter). If I feel a couple is not right for us for whatever reason, I will just tell them that I don't think we're the right studio for them. You can then provide them with an alternative to contact if they are interested. It's not really an easy thing to pull off, but in my opinion it's far better than working with the wrong couple.

Andrew Waite · January 6th, 2011, 06:42 PM

If I had a dollar for every time I took a "so-so" gig and shortly had to turn down an "awesome" gig for the same date..... I'd have like $50 bucks!!! Ok... so it's not really about the money as it is your sanity.... and portfolio.

Philip Howells · January 7th, 2011, 02:15 AM

Michael

In my view you've been given the right advice - if you haven't contracted the job, decline it politely, if you have, do the best with it you can.

I did a wedding before Christmas at which neither we nor the photographer were required at the church because the bride's afther had recently died and she didn't feel able to handle media at all.

As you may be aware we feature one to one interviews with the immediate family as part of our programmes and the bride and groom both asked me to keep the feature but obviously be disceet.

After 30 years of interviewing I can usually do these things on the fly but in view of the need for discretion I purposely structured the questions and topics I would ask to ensure that there could be no related link to the father's recent death.

The result I'm afraid was that two of the family seemed determined to bring up the father's death regardless of how tortuous the manner in which they linked to my determinedly unrelated questions. Half wondering if I was being set up, I actually stopped one and said "Could I ask you the question again because I really wanted to talk about the bride's dress and not her father's passing?" It was almost as if they were determined to be unhappy and I was left wondering if the best thing wouldn't have been to have cancelled all media or even postponed the wedding entirely.

Jim Snow · January 7th, 2011, 10:20 AM

If for whatever reason you decide to proceed with a problem like this, you can pay special attention to shooting lots of candid shots of people especially when they are doing amusing or interesting things. Don't forget to take lots of shots of children; they can really brighten up a production. Also it's a good idea to take a lot of beauty shots of the venue. If you do these things, you can put together a nice production even if the B&G are duds. Actually it's a good idea to do these things in any case but they can be a huge benefit when producing a video of a lifeless couple's wedding.

John Knight · January 15th, 2011, 01:52 PM

Hi guys, thanks everyone for their feedback and thoughts.

Well, it was a hell day as predicted. It didn't rain..... but....

Bride was of the "texting generation". Didn't give a sod about the timetable or anyone else. 50mins late to the church, didn't talk to anyone the entire day. The sparse info I received about the service was 100% incorrect. Speakers didn't stand where planned, couple didn't face the way I was told. During the service it dawned on me what a circus it actually was so I kind of stopped caring. I floated away on a cloud of inner peace and just started looking for other nice shots to capture... they weren't gonna happen with this couple. Luckily the kids were fun and stole the show - they loved gawking at themselves in the swivel viewfinder - a cinematic masterpeice it isn't, entertaining for the client - probably.

The groom was the splitting image of Randy from "My name is Earl". He made rednecks look clever. Goofing around during the vows, pulling faces and flicking the bird at the camera at every opportunity.

So I guess how I made it through was to keep reminding myself that I had been paid already, it isn't my video - it's something that is theirs for life. If they want to sabotage things, it isn't really my problem. I'll keep focusing my energies on the fantastic couples I normally get, and learn to zone out a little and not let these people ruin my enjoyment of my chosen profession.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris Harding

Unless you are fighting for work, why not give this a miss??? (or is the money really that good????)

Hi Chris - yeah, the money is very good. Be a fool to turn it down. I'm cranking out NZ$3000+ weddings in a country where the average wage is only NZ$600 per week. I'm making hay while the sun shines!

Quote:

Originally Posted by George Kilroy

the sort that are continually adjusting the top of their dress fearing they are about to pop out of it.

Hi George - YES! I'm getting so much of that lately... the strapless dresses that sag down and they are forever yanking the side back up under the armpits - totally unusable footage!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Travis Cossel

I'll never go back to just working for money. d;-)

Lucky bugger. Unfortunately I'm a complete unashamed whore to the video industry. Only in it for the money. I'm an empty and shallow soul. I suck. But I'll win Lotto soon and have a mass cancellation party!!! :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darrell Aubert

I'll admit that these films are not the best mainly because if the couple doesn't care about me, I care a lot less about their film too. That's not saying the final product is bad, but I'm not putting any extra effort into it.

Agree 100% Darrell. Lucky I've been doing this so long, I click into 'robot-mode' and can quite easily crank out a half decent video that the client is overjoyed with without too much effort. Isn't spiritually that rewarding but all part of the job I guess.

So hopefully 2011 can only get better! Cheers everyone!

Travis Cossel · January 15th, 2011, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Lucky bugger. Unfortunately I'm a complete unashamed whore to the video industry. Only in it for the money. I'm an empty and shallow soul. I suck. But I'll win Lotto soon and have a mass cancellation party!!! :)

Invite me to the party! d;-)

January 6th, 2011, 12:45 PM	#16
Travis Cossel Inner Circle Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 2,933	Michael, I personally would never lie to a couple (or anyone for that matter). If I feel a couple is not right for us for whatever reason, I will just tell them that I don't think we're the right studio for them. You can then provide them with an alternative to contact if they are interested. It's not really an easy thing to pull off, but in my opinion it's far better than working with the wrong couple. __________________ Black Label Films www.blacklabelweddingfilms.com

January 6th, 2011, 06:42 PM	#17
Andrew Waite Major Player Join Date: May 2007 Location: Bakersfield, CA Posts: 307	If I had a dollar for every time I took a "so-so" gig and shortly had to turn down an "awesome" gig for the same date..... I'd have like $50 bucks!!! Ok... so it's not really about the money as it is your sanity.... and portfolio. __________________ http://www.higherdefinitionmedia.com RED One #6135 "Spartacus"

January 7th, 2011, 02:15 AM	#18
Philip Howells Trustee Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 1,212	Michael In my view you've been given the right advice - if you haven't contracted the job, decline it politely, if you have, do the best with it you can. I did a wedding before Christmas at which neither we nor the photographer were required at the church because the bride's afther had recently died and she didn't feel able to handle media at all. As you may be aware we feature one to one interviews with the immediate family as part of our programmes and the bride and groom both asked me to keep the feature but obviously be disceet. After 30 years of interviewing I can usually do these things on the fly but in view of the need for discretion I purposely structured the questions and topics I would ask to ensure that there could be no related link to the father's recent death. The result I'm afraid was that two of the family seemed determined to bring up the father's death regardless of how tortuous the manner in which they linked to my determinedly unrelated questions. Half wondering if I was being set up, I actually stopped one and said "Could I ask you the question again because I really wanted to talk about the bride's dress and not her father's passing?" It was almost as if they were determined to be unhappy and I was left wondering if the best thing wouldn't have been to have cancelled all media or even postponed the wedding entirely.

January 7th, 2011, 10:20 AM	#19
Jim Snow Trustee Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Santa Clara, CA Posts: 1,104	If for whatever reason you decide to proceed with a problem like this, you can pay special attention to shooting lots of candid shots of people especially when they are doing amusing or interesting things. Don't forget to take lots of shots of children; they can really brighten up a production. Also it's a good idea to take a lot of beauty shots of the venue. If you do these things, you can put together a nice production even if the B&G are duds. Actually it's a good idea to do these things in any case but they can be a huge benefit when producing a video of a lifeless couple's wedding.