Bride and Groom staying on Wedding night at the reception venue?

[Colin McDonald]

Right all you guys and gals who do dozens of weddings a year, do you happen to know what proportion of newlyweds choose to stay their first night at the reception venue? I find this a idea a bit bizarre, especially if there are other wedding guests staying on as well. The idea of meeting over breakfast, well it seems a bit "Wicker Man" to me - like some old fishing village ritual where the whole population witness the consummation. OK, maybe that's a bit OTT but you get my drift.

In my day, the B & G changed into their going-away stuff and drove away, often with silly (and noisy) things done to the car. It was always a closely guarded secret where the couple went on their honeymoon. After the B&G left, the guests got to relax a bit more and the Bridesmaids and Best Man could consider themselves "off duty" and could unwind.

Am I totally out of touch?

[Jeff Kellam]

Yes, you are totally out of touch for US style weddings. You are thinking small town mentality.

I have shot a lot of 40ish year olds location weddings. In some cases, they are at the destination for the wedding, and in some they are leaving the next day or perhaps not going on a honeymoon at all.

In some cases one half of the family is from far out of town and have come for the wedding. They want to visit with their out of town family the next day, not rush off or home.

Around here, some B&Gs will rent one or more of the huge beach houses to stay in with out of town family and the wedding party for the days leading up to the wedding (say Saturday) and the wedding day/night.

Staying with friends and family seems pretty normal IMO.

[David Barnett]

I agree. It seems most stay overnight & leave the next day. Which only makes sense, most weddings end close to midnight, by the time they change & leave, they'd get to the airport at 1 or 2am. Plus, who would drive them, drunk relatives?! Most rent a hotel room, & seem to ask to reserve their room apart from the rest of the party (different floor) or something.


When my cousin got married she & her hubby came out to a nearby bar & did carbombs with us! Pretty funny stuff.

[Nicholas de Kock]

Absolutely nothing strange about that, sometimes we have breakfast the day after with the bride & groom along with the family when covering long distance weddings. Spending time with family/friends is what weddings are really about. Times have changes, there is no reason why anyone should feel ashamed.

[Colin McDonald]

Thanks for these interesting replies.

Just for the record, NONE of the weddings I have been at either as a guest or to film (or both), have had the G & G staying on, hence my reason for asking.

Weddings have always been about getting together as a family, on both sides and as a new extended family, so no change there.

There is a degree of symbolism in the departure of the newly wedded couple which is perhaps not as obvious to some folks today. The Bride and Groom leave their parents and set out n a new life together. But there again, if the couple have been living together (and maybe even have kids) before the wedding, there is rather less point in keeping the tradition. Most brides still wear white, and my granny would have said the some of them shouldn't. :-)

I would still be interested in hearing from other parts of the world, particularly the UK.

What a wonder mine of information is dvinfo!

[Doug Bennett]

I do a lot of destination events. They typically differ from "hometown" weddings in many ways. More often than not they involve a large number of the family and friends staying in the same resort/hotel as the couple.

[Chris Davis]

My personal preference would be to get out of town after the wedding, but my daughter just informed me that she and her new husband are planning on being at our house for brunch with the family the day after her wedding. I would say in my career as a wedding DJ and a wedding videographer (over 500 weddings) at least 80% of the B&Gs take off that night to great fanfare.

[Jeff Kellam]

Chris:

Are you in a small town or would you consider it fairly "big city"?

Im definately in a different demographic. At my weddings everybody has pretty much left the reception well before the B&G do and there is little, but some fanfare if they are actually leaving.

At my last wedding I even had the B&G stage their departure for the video as I wasnt staying that late.

[Anthony J. Howe]

I also believe that venues (particularly hotels) do offer the Bride and groom a honeymoon suite and stay overnight as a wedding package, this also includes any of their guests to stay in not so posh rooms, especially if they have travelled quite some distance.
My daughter who was married last year was offered this facility as part of the wedding package.

[Peter D. Parker]

In the 25 years I've been filming weddings, I've never had one when the Bride and Groom didn't stay at the reception venue.

Peter

[Chris Davis]

Originally Posted by Jeff Kellam

Chris:

Are you in a small town or would you consider it fairly "big city"?

I guess it would be a bit of both - from the Minneapolis area (3.5m) to rural Minnesota/Iowa/Wisconsin. I don't think it's a big city vs. small town issue, but rather a regional thing.

You also have to understand that as the wedding DJ, I stayed much later than the videographer so probably got to see the "big farewell" more often.