The silencing of a noisy child ... without uttering a word

[Don Bloom]

it is just the opinion of a grumpy old man (who happens to have 3 grandchildren-16 months, 6 and 11 years old) that children under the age of 8 years old should not attend weddings PERIOD! Both yesterday and today the "darling little ones" who were both in the bridal party as ring bearer and flower girl could hardly make it down the aisle, made lots of noise during the ceremony which happened to be a mass, didn't want to co-operate during the photo shoot and damn near tripped me numerous times at the reception not to mentio because of their behaviour got in the way and ruined numerous good shots at the reception. Since when is it OK for a 3 year old little girl to be running around the dance floor during the B&Gs 1st dance. Where are the parents? I always do a roundy round during the 1st dance and I didn't see the lil darling of course and i not only almost fell over her but could have injured her as well not to mention what it would have done to my camera.

PARENTS of little kids-keep 'em home, get a sitter and Bs&Gs, while 2 year old ring bearers may seem cute, they have NO place in a wedding party. Get your 9 year old nephew to do the job, at least they usually don't run down the aisle, throw the pillow on the floor or produce an ear shattering scream during the vows.

Of my soapbox and with a glass of brandy by my side not quite as grumpy. Not to mention the fact my 3 G-kids are spending the night at my house so THEIR parents can have a night off. Good night little angels! They look so peaceful when they sleep. (I really do love my g-kids cause after a few hours they go home) ;-)

[Dana Salsbury]

Aaaw! I can tell you're a softy when you're not working.


Tonight I brandished my antenna, and extended it to full length, off my right hip. The groomsman had veered into my line of sight to the bride. Not a good place to me. Not on my watch.

I slowly lifted my silent weapon of choice with the reflexes of a eagle in flight and the stealth of a panther. Just then he shifted and detected me with the corner of his eye. At that moment it was just him and me, the hunter and the hunted. In that moment he didn't utter a word.

Okay, he stepped back out of my shot, and I put away my antenna feeling a bit foolish. But hey, I was ready!

[Jonathan Jones]

Several years ago, I shot a wedding that included a wedding party that had "doom" written all over it. The bridal "parade" included the groom and 8 groomsmen, 8 bridesmaids, 5 small children, and 2 dogs, all making their grand entrances before the FOTB entered with the bride on his arm. It was an outdoor site with a long bridal path in a wide open area - a vast expanse that presented plenty of opportunity for something to go wrong.

The children and dogs were to enter just prior to the bride in the following order:

2 ring bearers that apparently didn't get along well,

2 little girls acting as dog escorts for the bride's personal showdog companions (status accessories?) on leashes (the dogs, not the girls) - which evidently had NEVER EVER been outside of a specific proximity range of the bride (the dogs, not the girls) - a condition for which there had been no proper planning in context of the ceremony,

1 flower girl.

On cue, the ring bearers made their entrance looking cute and dapper in their little fancy dress and mini-tux finery, and within about 40 feet, the ring pillows had been tossed aside and the kids were on the ground throwing punches at each other.

This did not deter the dog escorts who hit their cue and entered with the dogs on the leashes.

At some invisible proximity point, both dogs stopped cold. The leashes went taut. The dogs turned around, and sat on their hind-legs, staring intently at where they knew the bride would be entering. They refused to budge, and the little girls holding the leashes began to tug feverishly to prod the dogs to continue....all to no avail.

Then the flower girl hit her cue, entered the bridal path, noticing right away that everything had fallen apart. Her little mind had a freaking melt-down and she froze on the path and started screaming a shrill and frantic ear-bleeding shriek that seemed to last forever.

Some of the guests were beginning to chuckle, while others were clearly startled and no one seemed to move in to intervene.

For a few moments I was torn over whether I should put my camera down and attempt to offer assistance, or just keep rolling to capture the pure comedy gold.

I went for the gold.

A few of the guests eventually stepped in to put some order back into the children, and although others attempted to work with the dogs, it wasn't until the MOTB came over to assist that she was able to divert the animals. (Evidently she is also among the few 'approved' persons in the eyes of the canines.)

In the end, I got some great content for a bloopers reel, but the couple asked that the video reflect their ceremony as planned, not necessarily as it actually happened. I was able to edit it down to a relatively seamless ceremony entrance that omitted the lengthy awkward moments.

But I also provided the B & G with a little blooper reel of the funny clips for their own viewing entertainment. They enjoyed watching it, but were pleased that it never made it into the final video. (Hopefully, it also gave them a brief insight into the effort involved in producing a carefully edited presentation of a live event.)

-Jon

[Jeff Kellam]

Don:

Come on! You are getting grumpy.

However, I guess it all depends on the B&Gs wishes. And it would never be appropriate for non-immediate family to bring the kids, or anyone bringing kids to a very formal wedding. And dont forget that many people are from out of town and a baby sitter is not an option.

My kids love weddings, mainly because of the dancing.

Until this year, I had shot mostly location weddings, not standard church/reception weddings. I can certainly say that church/reception weddings are not nearly as fun for anyone (especially kids) as the location weddings.

[Don Bloom]

Yep, I've become grumpier as I get older. Little kids really don't have the attention span nor the manners to attend a wedding - I'm talking under the age of about 7 or 8. While they are cute in their little tuxedoes and dresses they don't know or understand it's a wedding and not their house where they can just run around and scream. A couple of years ago I had this situation in the church and the priest whom I've worked with many many times also finally had enough and stopped the ceremony and TOLD the parents to remove the children for the remainder of the ceremony.
While I really do love the little ones if they can't behave then remove them. It is the most special day for the B&G and I'm sure they don't appreciate the screaming and crying during THEIR wedding ceremony.
About 5 or 6 years ago at the reception during cocktail hour the cake was being displayed on a table in the center of the dance floor. The B&G were going to cut the cake as soon as they were introduced. There were 5 or 6 little kids all under the age of 5 or 6 running in circles on the floor. I was talking to the DJ and photog about the itinerary and as we watched the kids running we KNEW what was going to happen and sure enough, the kids (2 or 3 of them) ran into the table and the beautiful 4 tiered cake hit the floor like a bag of sand. It seemed like slow motion! BAM! The top layer was impossibly unhurt hurt but the rest was destroyed. The B&G had looks of horror on their faces. Their beautiful cake laying in a heap on the floor and the little kids had looks of absolute FEAR on their faces. While the B&G didn't laugh, all was not lost. The groom gave the best man a bunch of money and he and a groomsman made a quick run to Krispy Creme donuts got about 12 dozen or so and THAT became their cake. It was actually a nice cake and good too. The B&G cut the top layer and it all worked out in the end, but the point is, the kids shouldn't have been running around and the parents should have stopped them when they were running.
Some kids ARE great at a wedding but many aren't, hence my statement...Keep 'em home. Get a sitter, make arrangements, invites are sent out about 8 weeks in advance, if you can't find a sitter in 8 weeks then your list isn't big enough. Even out of towners can find someone local to watch the kids for a few hours.
Just one grumpy grandpas opinion :-)

[Jim Snow]

Unfortunately a small percentage of parents seem to think that ANYTHING their children do is cute and you are supposed to like it - no matter what. The sad part of this is the lack of discipline this implies often leads to unruly behavior when they grow older that ultimately leads to heartbreak for the parents when their "little angels" grow up - what a sad payback. It's when they are young that their behavior is defined and established. When they grow older, it's too late.

If the B&G want young children to be ring bearers, flower girls etc., they should be assigned an adult minder that monitors their every move and intervenes when necessary. It might even be appropriate to hire a baby sitter to be the minder instead of hoping Aunt Bee steps in. It's not a good idea to assign family and guests working duty at a wedding.

[Denny Lajeunesse]

Are shock collars legal for use on children? ;)

Hell, they would be useful on drunks at the reception...


I'm just getting into shooting weddings. I've shot most everything else over the years but always seemed to avoid weddings.

My mother is a Provincial Marriage Commissioner here in Kelowna BC and has many a nightmare story to tell though. lol

Been to my fair share as a "witness" etc. over the years. (That's also why I avoided wedding videography... :D With new camera, editing suite etc.. and resultant bills, I'll shoot just about anything..well.. not "anything".)