You've gotten a lot of good advice already. I just wanted to throw in for the garter toss...
I shot a double camera wedding last year and both cameras missed the bouquet toss! One was accidentally put on STANDBY like you described and the other had gong to "sleep" and with the delay, totally missed the toss because it was sprung on us last second.
I emailed the photograher, and the bride and groom and explaned my "bone-headed" move to all. I asked the photographer if I could use his pictures and he was awesome and mailed me a disk with the high resolution photos that day. The bride and groom never got mad or upset... they understood. The first email I got from them was thanking me for my honesty. This is huge... let them know what happened and how you are going to remedy the situation. I wouldn't focus on the first dance too much, because you have ways to "fix" that, but still let them know. GL!
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