Love Story Opener at DVinfo.net

Jon Anderson · August 23rd, 2007, 01:25 PM

Hey All,

Would appreciate constructive criticism on this love story opener...

http://link6.streamhoster.com/?u=jon...wmv&odaid=2670

Thanks for any input...

Terry Esslinger · August 23rd, 2007, 11:46 PM

Link does not work.

Jon Anderson · August 24th, 2007, 05:40 AM

Hmmmm...works fine for me and I had someone else test out the link on their machine. Maybe this one will work better:

http://link6.streamhoster.com/?u=jon...2670&prog=true

or this...

http://link6.streamhoster.com/video_...FMK+Love+Story.

Jon Anderson · August 24th, 2007, 11:04 AM

Jeez...well over 100 hits and no comments? Now I'm worried. Is it so bad that it's falling into the "if you can't say something nice..." department?

Warren Kawamoto · August 24th, 2007, 12:44 PM

Hi Jon,
Maybe there are no responses because the video falls in the "that was okay" category. There are some things that make it pretty good, and some things that make it not so good. The good thing is that you got the emotion of the couple. The bad is that a lot of shots are shaky and that it's distracting. One easy solution is to slo mo those shaky shots. Another issue I had was the order of your edits. You started with titles, a wide shot with the doorway, then a closeup of her. Then back to the wideshot, then closeup of him. then the wide shot again.. this kind of redundancy makes the video uninteresting and seems like you put it in there because you didn't have anything else to fill. Same goes for the shot of them on the jungle gym, you started with a crane up shot from him to her, then back down from him to her. You need to add more variety in your shooting. If you don't have any more shots available and need to stretch, try slo-mo on your clips, then get rid of redundancies. Tighten up the pacing of your cuts as right now some of the shots seem a little long. Hope this helps!

Warren Kawamoto · August 24th, 2007, 01:00 PM

I took one more look at your video and saw one more important thing. Listen to the song. Not so much the words, but the energy of it. At the chorus, which is high energy and implies a lot of action, you had them sitting on the park bench basically just looking at each other (no action) and when the music quieted down, you had them on the swings (action). If you can swap these shots, you would get a better feel of what they should be feeling.

John Moon · August 24th, 2007, 02:24 PM

Jon:

I think there were some nicely composed shots and I liked the rack focus from the ring to her face. I would work on the first part regarding Warren's suggestion. What would really add another dimension is some voice over by the couple to make it into a "story". They seem like the type that would do this for you. Good work though.

John

Travis Cossel · August 24th, 2007, 05:03 PM

First off, you did have some great shots in there. The crane shot was beautiful, the rack focus with the ring and her face, the two of them walking over you holding hands, etc. For the most part the color looked great as well.

However, you also had some "bad" shots in there. When they were sitting in front of the school and you were trying to walk in a circle around them it was just way too shaky. Some of the other shots were also quite shaky. Also, there were a few shots where you didn't cut before the camera was moving out of the shot. Maybe you did that on purpose, but it didn't work for me.

I think the first thing you can do to improve this video would be to edit the song and shorten it. A shorter song would allow for a shorter video, which would allow you to get rid of the clips that aren't working. I would also consider doing some of the shots in black-and-white to break up the video a little. Maybe pick a section of shots where they are interacting in the same place and make that section black-and-white.

I hope that helps!

Jon Anderson · August 27th, 2007, 08:37 AM

Thanks to each of your for your input. And you're all right, there's some crappy shots in there that need to get pulled.

In the past, my "love story" footage has been much more longform, laced throughout the entire movie (a la "When Harry Met Sally). I usually interview not only the B&G, but also their parents and friends and weave them together in the editing into short segments.

This is the first time I've tried a self-contained Love Story -- complete with the playing around footage -- and I must say I'm having a much harder time of it than I thought I would.

In this case, I've got:

* interview footage from the B&G and their parents -- five interviews total: B&G together, B by herself, G by himself, B's parents together, G's parents together. All together, 25-30 minutes of usuable stuff.

* four songs-worth of photo montages (Her growing up, Him growing up, them with firends, them as a couple). About 15-mintes all together.

* and then this footage of them playing at the school and park.

My intitial thought was that I'd use this montage of them playing to start things off, then go back and forth between interviews and the photo montages.

But I've been sidetracked now trying to really make them two separate things -- Love Story and Photo Montages. Act One, Act Two perhaps, but each being able to stand on its own.

The intent is to show whatever gets produced on loop in the foyer at the reception, or possibly in a single showing during the meal, so I'm trying to keep total time to no more than 30 minutes, but even that, I worry, is too long. If I went to plan B, I'd do a much shorter Love Story with just the kids, say a single song with some short interview material splashed in from the kids, then use my usual format for the actual wedding movie. So far, though, I've just been overwhelmed trying to whiddle the material down and fit it all together in a way that works....

Seems like it shouldn't be this hard.

Just as a sidenote, this couple has a great story: They've known each other since kindergarten, went to the same k-12 school together, and have been dating since 7th grade and are both now finishing college together. Makes it all the harder to cut material down.

Anyway, propbably more than any of you wanted to know, but I'll keep you posted on how things turn out. Thanks again for the reality check.

August 23rd, 2007, 01:25 PM	#1
Jon Anderson Regular Crew Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Dayton, Ohio Posts: 46	Love Story Opener Hey All, Would appreciate constructive criticism on this love story opener... http://link6.streamhoster.com/?u=jon...wmv&odaid=2670 Thanks for any input...

August 23rd, 2007, 11:46 PM	#2
Terry Esslinger Major Player Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Sacramento, Elk Grove. Calif Posts: 306	Link does not work. __________________ Puttin the wet stuff on the red stuff!

August 24th, 2007, 11:04 AM	#4
Jon Anderson Regular Crew Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Dayton, Ohio Posts: 46	Anyone? Jeez...well over 100 hits and no comments? Now I'm worried. Is it so bad that it's falling into the "if you can't say something nice..." department?

August 24th, 2007, 02:24 PM	#7
John Moon Major Player Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Indianapolis, IN Posts: 446	Jon: I think there were some nicely composed shots and I liked the rack focus from the ring to her face. I would work on the first part regarding Warren's suggestion. What would really add another dimension is some voice over by the couple to make it into a "story". They seem like the type that would do this for you. Good work though. John __________________ John J. Moon www.northernlightfilmworks.com - Event DV Top 25 Recipient

August 24th, 2007, 05:03 PM	#8
Travis Cossel Inner Circle Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 2,933	First off, you did have some great shots in there. The crane shot was beautiful, the rack focus with the ring and her face, the two of them walking over you holding hands, etc. For the most part the color looked great as well. However, you also had some "bad" shots in there. When they were sitting in front of the school and you were trying to walk in a circle around them it was just way too shaky. Some of the other shots were also quite shaky. Also, there were a few shots where you didn't cut before the camera was moving out of the shot. Maybe you did that on purpose, but it didn't work for me. I think the first thing you can do to improve this video would be to edit the song and shorten it. A shorter song would allow for a shorter video, which would allow you to get rid of the clips that aren't working. I would also consider doing some of the shots in black-and-white to break up the video a little. Maybe pick a section of shots where they are interacting in the same place and make that section black-and-white. I hope that helps! __________________ Black Label Films www.blacklabelweddingfilms.com

August 24th, 2007, 05:40 AM	#3
Jon Anderson Regular Crew Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Dayton, Ohio Posts: 46	Hmmmm...works fine for me and I had someone else test out the link on their machine. Maybe this one will work better: http://link6.streamhoster.com/?u=jon...2670&prog=true or this... http://link6.streamhoster.com/video_...FMK+Love+Story.

August 24th, 2007, 12:44 PM	#5
Warren Kawamoto Trustee Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Honolulu, HI Posts: 1,435	Hi Jon, Maybe there are no responses because the video falls in the "that was okay" category. There are some things that make it pretty good, and some things that make it not so good. The good thing is that you got the emotion of the couple. The bad is that a lot of shots are shaky and that it's distracting. One easy solution is to slo mo those shaky shots. Another issue I had was the order of your edits. You started with titles, a wide shot with the doorway, then a closeup of her. Then back to the wideshot, then closeup of him. then the wide shot again.. this kind of redundancy makes the video uninteresting and seems like you put it in there because you didn't have anything else to fill. Same goes for the shot of them on the jungle gym, you started with a crane up shot from him to her, then back down from him to her. You need to add more variety in your shooting. If you don't have any more shots available and need to stretch, try slo-mo on your clips, then get rid of redundancies. Tighten up the pacing of your cuts as right now some of the shots seem a little long. Hope this helps!

August 24th, 2007, 01:00 PM	#6
Warren Kawamoto Trustee Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Honolulu, HI Posts: 1,435	I took one more look at your video and saw one more important thing. Listen to the song. Not so much the words, but the energy of it. At the chorus, which is high energy and implies a lot of action, you had them sitting on the park bench basically just looking at each other (no action) and when the music quieted down, you had them on the swings (action). If you can swap these shots, you would get a better feel of what they should be feeling.

August 27th, 2007, 08:37 AM	#9
Jon Anderson Regular Crew Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Dayton, Ohio Posts: 46	Thanks to each of your for your input. And you're all right, there's some crappy shots in there that need to get pulled. In the past, my "love story" footage has been much more longform, laced throughout the entire movie (a la "When Harry Met Sally). I usually interview not only the B&G, but also their parents and friends and weave them together in the editing into short segments. This is the first time I've tried a self-contained Love Story -- complete with the playing around footage -- and I must say I'm having a much harder time of it than I thought I would. In this case, I've got: * interview footage from the B&G and their parents -- five interviews total: B&G together, B by herself, G by himself, B's parents together, G's parents together. All together, 25-30 minutes of usuable stuff. * four songs-worth of photo montages (Her growing up, Him growing up, them with firends, them as a couple). About 15-mintes all together. * and then this footage of them playing at the school and park. My intitial thought was that I'd use this montage of them playing to start things off, then go back and forth between interviews and the photo montages. But I've been sidetracked now trying to really make them two separate things -- Love Story and Photo Montages. Act One, Act Two perhaps, but each being able to stand on its own. The intent is to show whatever gets produced on loop in the foyer at the reception, or possibly in a single showing during the meal, so I'm trying to keep total time to no more than 30 minutes, but even that, I worry, is too long. If I went to plan B, I'd do a much shorter Love Story with just the kids, say a single song with some short interview material splashed in from the kids, then use my usual format for the actual wedding movie. So far, though, I've just been overwhelmed trying to whiddle the material down and fit it all together in a way that works.... Seems like it shouldn't be this hard. Just as a sidenote, this couple has a great story: They've known each other since kindergarten, went to the same k-12 school together, and have been dating since 7th grade and are both now finishing college together. Makes it all the harder to cut material down. Anyway, propbably more than any of you wanted to know, but I'll keep you posted on how things turn out. Thanks again for the reality check.