UWOL 41 - Illusions

[Paul Mailath]

UWOL 41 Illusions by Paul M_00 on Vimeo

Hi all, this was VERY last minute but though I'm appalled looking at the footage I needed to put something in. Too many times over the years I've stuck my hand up and never completed anything so this time I completed something - the concept I believe was good but the execution lacked - that's fine - I'm happy that I actually got it in.

[Mark Hartopp]

I like the voice over, very thought provoking with the images, a bit dreamy and triggers my own memories of past good times, all good stuff.

[Paul Mailath]

Jim critiqued his own which is a great idea.

I think my concept and VO were okay but the visuals let me down,
the grass shot should have been done on a slider to give a smoother shot. The spider webs needed the pool stuff in the background moved to minimise distraction

I dislike hand held and yet used it here, I should have used a tripod and looked for more interesting angles.the 2nd lot of shots used identical framing which I should have changed.

a better intro & outro would have helped as well.

[Gordon Hoffman]

Hi Paul. I agree with Mark. Nice voice over and it does make a person think. I agree with you about hand held shooting which I'm terrible at. I use to always use a tripod, but lately have been guilty of being lazy and not using it and it shows. Glad you went for it and posted a video.

Gordon

[Mick Jenner]

Hi Paul, beautiful entry, I watched it, wrote down a few notes,then read the comments, tore up the notes as your own self critique roughly mirrored mine.

Very much enjoy watching, well done

Mick

[Andrew Hood]

Paul I think you're own reflections cover the areas to work on pretty well. And I know that feeling of doing things last minute and grappling whether I hate it enough to just not enter, or to at least get something finished on principal. I have entered far more rounds where I never finished, or didn't submit, than times I have actually completed an entry.

My thoughts were that the theme use was very good - including good examples from nature. Being last minute, a shorter video makes sense, and worked well.
As you identified; some more variety of shots/angles would help the video. Possibly using the passage of time to show the longer term repetitions (tides) would be a nice addition.
The narrative tied everything together well. There were just a few plosives in there (the jet of air from the mouth hitting the microphone element) which can usually be avoided by moving the mic a little to the side so it's not directly in front of the mouth.
An enjoyable entry, definitely worth submitting.

[Trond Saetre]

Hi Paul,

I haven't much to add to what has already been said. Your VO is great.
Thanks for sharing.

[Paul Wood]

Paul, My notes don't add much to the comments already posted, but here they are anyway -
Very calming film, with the VO used to great effect to add to the sense of tranquility - on subject, well thought out film.

[Dale Guthormsen]

Paul,

I have to say, this is the same theme i did not complete. Great job and the voice over is awesome. the pace and Tone were perfect. If I do another serious long form video im going to get you on the voiceover.
I enjpyed the video footage too.

thanks for taking the time to sahare your video efforts.

[Paul Mailath]

Hi Dale, thx - I'd be happy to do VO for such a project - I do regular VO work now - my wife is complaining about the loos of her built-in wardrobe which I've converted to a booth - guess I'll have to build a proper one now.