UWOL#31 - The Brook - Paul Wood

[Paul Wood]

I can't remember when the idea of reading a poem came to me, but it was helped out by a large amount of googling and eventually I decided on The Brook.

The River Jarama runs within walking distance of home, and is on my regular walking route, so it was an easy choice, although some of the footage is nearer the source, and meant a short car journey. I did try and find many of the smaller streams that run into the river, but they were all dry.

I made a couple of experiments with a GoPro on a small floating box, and some more shots with it on a boom pole, but most of the film is shot on the FS100.

The Brook on Vimeo

[Marj Atkins]

I take my hat off to you Paul – this is a most ambitious project!
I love the idea of using the journey of the brook to portray the summer countryside and riparian vegetation found along its way and I love the idea of using a poem to accomplish this. There are many stunning shots in there.

Your voice-over rendering of the brook, personified in the poem as an ageless but sprightly old man, is most impressive. Didn’t even recognize your voice!

A couple of comments re the sound:
I have a little bit of a problem with the sound balance between the music and your voice-over. I believe the music needs to be reduced in volume. Tennyson’s words are quite musical in their own right and I feel the music almost drowns this out. I also feel that the music becomes pretty loud and discordant as the scene moves from the brook to the wide open countryside. (Incidentally, I think that was a good place to have a short interlude.)

Not sure if you have already picked it up, but the sound of water disappeared between 2:30 and 2:48.

Perhaps this piece would be lifted somewhat if you could find some ‘blossom sailing’ or flowers growing along the banks to add a touch of colour - although I’m sure it would be a big task to find his Forget-me-nots, the Coots and Heron.

I am not thoroughly convinced that this fits with the theme “Nature speaks in colours” very strongly. I do, however, appreciate your amazing creativity and talent!

P.S. What a fantastic place to take a regular walk.

[Kevin Railsback]

Really nice film Paul!
I'm a sucker for water footage! :)

Marj did a great job with her notes.

Congrats on your film!

[Mick Jenner]

An interesting entry Paul. Thought the idea of the poem coupled with river scenes was great. I did find however the odd cutaway to a fish jumping or a bird flying along or on the river etc would have broken up the cut from one river scene to another, otherwise really enjoyed watching

Mick

[Trond Saetre]

Hi Paul,

Very nice and interesting! Not often we have poetry in the challenge, but you did it well.
Well done!

I agree with the comments about the sound differences between your VO and the music.
Have the same challenges myself sometimes.

[Gordon Hoffman]

Paul I also don't have much to add that Marj didn't cover. Neat that you used the GoPro also. Only seen one shot with a water drop on the lens.

Gordon

[Paul Wood]

Thank you all for your comments!

I fully admit the lack of interesting cut aways that could have added some more interest, but in the stretches of river I had access to, couldn't find much blossom sailing or other bits of interest. I have to say that we haven't yet got much in the way of color, other than green - autumn seems a bit late this year!

Marj picked up the lack of water at 2.30 - which is in fact a missing cross fade - their is either water or wind (and a little bird) across the whole piece at differing levels.

I would be interested to hear how you each listened, as I mixed this in FCPX on my iMac listening on studio monitors, then again on the finished item on the TV before uploading, and since on a laptop with and without headphones - the levels don't go above -6 Dbfs according to my system.

My tinnitus seems to be getting worse, and I wonder if this has anything to do with it - I'd be grateful if you could let me know on what setup you found the audio loud and discordant, so I can make allowances in future.

Thanks - its because of your input I can hopefully keep improving!

[Trond Saetre]

Paul, I use some Logitech computer speaker which gives pretty accurate sound, even though they are not "pro-quality". And then I double checked now using the laptop's internal speakers.
with the laptop speakers the sound volume difference between your VO and the music is noticeable, but when using external speakers, the difference was huge.

I also use Smartsound music, and I find them really "hot" or intense sound output compared to ex. my own VO with the same decibel levels.
Often I find that I have to set the music to around -15db and my VO to -6db to have them sound about the same sound level/intensity.

[Paul Wood]

Thanks, Trond,
Yes, I agree that Smartsound music is always ¨hot¨- I think it is heavily compressed.
I checked again my sound volumes in the original, and the loudest part of the music was at -9db, and at -15db where the VO is.
Anyway, I lowered them a bit, and modified the version of the video in this thread - highest peaking is at -8db,. I also checked the levels on previous entries, and they seem consistent. Maybe something to do with Vimeo compression?
Thanks for your time in checking it out!

[Trond Saetre]

I had a look at your video again now. (The one you have in this thread).
Sound levels for both music and VO are much closer to each other now. I'd say keep it as it is now.

[Paul Wood]

Thanks Trond!
Next time I will check the levels on the uploaded version first.

[Bill Thesken]

I thought it Lord Tennyson himself doing the voice over.
Can you believe how good that poem really is? I listened to it 4 times.

I murmur under the moon and stars in brambly wildernesses...

Not many people have ever lived that can weave words like that.
I think the first gopro shot was steadier than the rest, if that's what it was at the 00:33 mark, and I know what you are facing since I've experimented with that camera quite a lot, it picks up little movements and amplifies them. You need something weighted to take away the movement, or slow down the footage a bit, I've found. Or, travelling at speed with the camera hand held or mounted takes away the implied wiggle. Anyways, it's fun to get the water shot.
Excellent film.

[Geir Inge]

Hello Paul and thanks for a creative and well thought out contributions.

I have nothing to fault, except that it might be (in my opinion) slightly off topic?
When describing colors in nature, it is not necessarily the most colorful creatures or plants you're able to see. Nature has plenty of creatures that are less visible and not so colorful. Nevertheless, they are as important as those with more color on.
Just mentioning using poems, is that they may have different meanings when translated into another language. This was my own experience once I translated a poem from Norwegian to English. It was difficult to find the right words, to get the right meaning.

Thank you for sharing and I look forward to your contribution in the next round.

[Paul Wood]

Bill, Thanks for your comments - I certainly have to work on the GoPro floating box idea if I want it to work - in calm water it works well, but once in the river current it goes awry - back to the drawing board!

Geir Inge, Thanks for your kind words - topics are, of course down to our own interpretation, and the use of nature talking colours, in my case, using the river talking, is harder to understand in a poem, even for those of us with English as a first language!

As ever, the important thing is to have fun, and to try and make something for each contest, and learn every time!