UWOL #19

David Elkins · February 22nd, 2011, 02:53 PM

Well, here's my inaugural UWOL entry of what I hope to be many more! For years I have wanted to go and see the elephant seals that come ashore in California to battle and breed and I finally said this was the year and it coincided with the Challenge perfectly and I think it works with the theme nicely as well. I ended up making two trips to separate locations to get what I needed. I struggled with whether to add narration or not. I have a long history of editing to music and letting my images speak for themselves, but for this I felt just a little explanation was needed so I channeled my best David Attenborough and placed a few bits of VO. Hope it helps and not hinders. Looking forward to seeing what everyone else came up with!

Geir Inge · February 22nd, 2011, 03:08 PM

Hi
When you're at vimeo and at the site of your film, copy the web adr and put it in here.
The adr will be vimeo/"your films number". I'm not sure if this will work if you're not a plus member at vimeo though?
Geir Inge

Haha, I can see it's up and running, thats good :)

David Elkins · February 22nd, 2011, 03:41 PM

Thanks, Geir. I was using the embed code, not realizing that you just need to paste the link.

Steve Siegel · February 22nd, 2011, 04:07 PM

Wow, "your best David Attenborough" is right. This is as good as anything I have seen on PBS. I especially liked the bull doing the "moonwalk" at 01:40. Also at 00:47 there seems to be no shadow anywhere, like studio lighting. Were you using extra lights? Can't wait to see what you come up with in subsequent UWOLs.

Mat Thompson · February 22nd, 2011, 05:30 PM

Hi David

Welcome to uwol. Your film is fab. Some of the best production value of any film in any round we've had. Great light and not a bad shot in the whole piece. Nicely edited to a good score. I didn't get the beach ballet connection, for me this the title is a bit of a misanomer. I think your story could have been stronger too. You could have held more back or tantilised a little instead of a straight flow in events.

All in all a great piece. This is certainly one of the highest production values uwol has seen, well done!

David Elkins · February 23rd, 2011, 12:33 AM

Thanks, Mat & Steve. I really appreciate your comments. It is good to hear after putting so much time and effort into a project.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mat Thompson

Nicely editing to a good score. I didn't get the beach ballet connection, for me this the title is a bit of a misanomer. I think your story could have been stronger too. You could have held more back or tantilised a little instead of a straight flow in events.

The score was my impetus behind the title and tying it to the motion theme. It is very dramatic to watch these animals and I wanted to put that into a human context, but, I am aware, if you have to explain it maybe it didn't work. With a little more time, maybe I could have done more of a non-linear storyline. I agree that would be a bit more interesting. At some point I just had to put this to bed though!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve Siegel

at 00:47 there seems to be no shadow anywhere, like studio lighting. Were you using extra lights?

No extra lighting. In that shot the sun is directly behind me so visible shadows are minimized.

Mick Jenner · February 23rd, 2011, 08:33 AM

David,

Enjoyed it very much, very well filmed.

Excellent

Mick

Mike Sims · February 23rd, 2011, 10:07 AM

Hi David, welcome to UWOL. This is a very polished first entry so please pardon me as I nit-pick a bit. (Learning to critique is just part of the ongoing learning process here so bear with me as I attempt to stretch myself.) Collecting enough elements for a good sequence is usually very difficult in the short amount of time we allot ourselves. I think you did an excellent job of that and, time permitting, you could have told a stronger story. I would have liked to see more camera angles. I realize that this was probably logistically impossible (and possibly illegal!), still, it would have added much to see some higher angles from atop the rocks and very low angles from prone on the sand. Your audio mix was good. There were a couple of spots, notably the crashing surf, where the location sound might have been a bit more prominent in the mix. My only real concern is with the credits. I feel the fonts used were entirely too anemic to hold up in the very small contest version. I hope you found the challenge enjoyable and will be back for more. I look forward to learning much from you.

Trond Saetre · February 23rd, 2011, 12:10 PM

Hi David,
Welcome to the uwol family!

You got pretty good feedback already, and I agree with what has been said.
A little stronger story, and this could easily be a winner.

I'm looking forward to see your future films. Stay with us!

Catherine Russell · February 23rd, 2011, 12:53 PM

Hi David:

Welcome friend! You are appreciated here and we are glad you have joined the group. As I have mentioned to our other new David in the group, since I have contact with the judge my comments need to remain neutral. I will say that this was very professional and captivating to watch. Your VO certainly did not detract but enhanced the production.

I was amused by how the females seemed to be so uninspired by the drama of the bulls and amazed at how graceful the bulls were while moving in combat. I also thought the sea gulls on the shore in the time laps at the end were entertaining.

Best,

Cat

Dale Guthormsen · February 23rd, 2011, 09:11 PM

Good evening,

I liked everything about it!! I really liked the time lapse winding up the end so to speak!!

the shots were all very fine!!

what a change!!! In the 60's and early 70's I would visit my sister in Santa Cruz and we would go see the small number of sea lions and such, and of course the otters were virtually extinct at that time. Now of course people are complaining about them if you can believe that!!!!!

this was really a pleasure for me to see!!!!!

The lighting in your shots was awesome!

I look forward to seeing more of your fine work!!!

Marj Atkins · February 26th, 2011, 12:57 PM

Welcome to UWOL Challenge David! It is really good to have all you new folk raising the bar for us around here. Beautiful footage; well narrated and an interesting story.

Just a couple of small things: I feel your story is more about elephant seals than about motion. Perhaps a a few simple changes to your script could solve the problem - even as simple as adding a few "motion" adjectives drawing attention to movement we are seeing.

(When I saw your title I thought I would be seeing graceful birds or something similar. I had to smile when I saw your subject! I don't think there could be anything less like graceful ballerinas than those large lumps of blubber but I did find them surprisingly agile at times! )

The other thing that jumped out at me was the speeded up footage at the end. I found it very busy - everything was moving - but there was no point of focus. I don't think it added real value to your otherwise beautiful film. (I presume it was done in order to match the music.)

Look forward to seeing more of your stunning work.

David Chilson · February 26th, 2011, 03:56 PM

Nicely done, David. It kept my interest throughout despite what may be considered a way overdone subject matter. I look forward to seeing more of your work also. I know you guys struggle quite a bit with harsh conditions out your way. I hear that getting that sand in your car can be real annoying!

I wonder what sort of whale or endangered species will be visiting your neck of the woods during the next challenge. I know I can rustle up a woodchuck or two and some ducks. Ducks I got. How many cute baby woodchucks does one need to equal some sort of endangered condor? Is there a UWOL animal value chart somewhere?

In a field where content is king this film is a winner. Despite the (those were sea gulls?) disaster and the loose interpretation of the motion theme, your subject matter and technical skill pulled along your meandering story line quite nicely! But don't try that with DUCKS!!!!

Great Job!

Ryan Farnes · March 2nd, 2011, 08:46 AM

Congratulations and great work on this piece. Wonderful subject matter and great proximity to the animals.

Geir Inge · March 3rd, 2011, 12:02 PM

Hi David

Congrats on your winning video.
I think it's great, liked it very much.
You have a wide range/variation of shots.
Close ups and some great action scenes, and I'm a big fan of marine type of videos.
It's fun to see how these big animals move,
and I think thei're not supposed to move that fast, but they do :)
Thank you for sharing this video at uwol.

February 22nd, 2011, 03:08 PM	#2
Geir Inge Trustee Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Larsnes, Norway Posts: 1,343	Re: UWOL #19 - Beach Ballet Hi When you're at vimeo and at the site of your film, copy the web adr and put it in here. The adr will be vimeo/"your films number". I'm not sure if this will work if you're not a plus member at vimeo though? Geir Inge Haha, I can see it's up and running, thats good :) __________________ Geir Inge B. Brekke Visit me at: https://vimeo.com/gibbfilm

February 22nd, 2011, 03:41 PM	#3
David Elkins Regular Crew Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 147	Re: UWOL #19 - Beach Ballet Thanks, Geir. I was using the embed code, not realizing that you just need to paste the link. __________________ www.elkinseye.com

February 22nd, 2011, 04:07 PM	#4
Steve Siegel Major Player Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA Posts: 840	Re: UWOL #19 - Beach Ballet Wow, "your best David Attenborough" is right. This is as good as anything I have seen on PBS. I especially liked the bull doing the "moonwalk" at 01:40. Also at 00:47 there seems to be no shadow anywhere, like studio lighting. Were you using extra lights? Can't wait to see what you come up with in subsequent UWOLs.

February 22nd, 2011, 05:30 PM	#5
Mat Thompson Trustee Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Kent UK Posts: 1,397	Re: UWOL #19 - Beach Ballet Hi David Welcome to uwol. Your film is fab. Some of the best production value of any film in any round we've had. Great light and not a bad shot in the whole piece. Nicely edited to a good score. I didn't get the beach ballet connection, for me this the title is a bit of a misanomer. I think your story could have been stronger too. You could have held more back or tantilised a little instead of a straight flow in events. All in all a great piece. This is certainly one of the highest production values uwol has seen, well done! Last edited by Mat Thompson; February 23rd, 2011 at 05:02 AM.

February 23rd, 2011, 08:33 AM	#7
Mick Jenner Major Player Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: West Sussex England Posts: 843	Re: UWOL #19 - Beach Ballet David, Enjoyed it very much, very well filmed. Excellent Mick

February 22nd, 2011, 02:53 PM	#1
David Elkins Regular Crew Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 147	UWOL #19 - Beach Ballet Well, here's my inaugural UWOL entry of what I hope to be many more! For years I have wanted to go and see the elephant seals that come ashore in California to battle and breed and I finally said this was the year and it coincided with the Challenge perfectly and I think it works with the theme nicely as well. I ended up making two trips to separate locations to get what I needed. I struggled with whether to add narration or not. I have a long history of editing to music and letting my images speak for themselves, but for this I felt just a little explanation was needed so I channeled my best David Attenborough and placed a few bits of VO. Hope it helps and not hinders. Looking forward to seeing what everyone else came up with! Beach Ballet on Vimeo __________________ www.elkinseye.com Last edited by David Elkins; February 22nd, 2011 at 03:07 PM. Reason: link not embedding

February 23rd, 2011, 10:07 AM	#8
Mike Sims Major Player Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: San Antonio, Texas Posts: 880	Re: UWOL #19 - Beach Ballet Hi David, welcome to UWOL. This is a very polished first entry so please pardon me as I nit-pick a bit. (Learning to critique is just part of the ongoing learning process here so bear with me as I attempt to stretch myself.) Collecting enough elements for a good sequence is usually very difficult in the short amount of time we allot ourselves. I think you did an excellent job of that and, time permitting, you could have told a stronger story. I would have liked to see more camera angles. I realize that this was probably logistically impossible (and possibly illegal!), still, it would have added much to see some higher angles from atop the rocks and very low angles from prone on the sand. Your audio mix was good. There were a couple of spots, notably the crashing surf, where the location sound might have been a bit more prominent in the mix. My only real concern is with the credits. I feel the fonts used were entirely too anemic to hold up in the very small contest version. I hope you found the challenge enjoyable and will be back for more. I look forward to learning much from you.

February 23rd, 2011, 12:10 PM	#9
Trond Saetre Inner Circle Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bergen, Norway Posts: 3,375	Hi David, Welcome to the uwol family! You got pretty good feedback already, and I agree with what has been said. A little stronger story, and this could easily be a winner. I'm looking forward to see your future films. Stay with us!

February 23rd, 2011, 12:53 PM	#10
Catherine Russell Trustee Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Lyons, Colorado Posts: 1,224	Re: UWOL #19 - Beach Ballet Hi David: Welcome friend! You are appreciated here and we are glad you have joined the group. As I have mentioned to our other new David in the group, since I have contact with the judge my comments need to remain neutral. I will say that this was very professional and captivating to watch. Your VO certainly did not detract but enhanced the production. I was amused by how the females seemed to be so uninspired by the drama of the bulls and amazed at how graceful the bulls were while moving in combat. I also thought the sea gulls on the shore in the time laps at the end were entertaining. Best, Cat

February 23rd, 2011, 09:11 PM	#11
Dale Guthormsen Inner Circle Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Saskatchewan Posts: 3,048	Re: UWOL #19 - Beach Ballet Good evening, I liked everything about it!! I really liked the time lapse winding up the end so to speak!! the shots were all very fine!! what a change!!! In the 60's and early 70's I would visit my sister in Santa Cruz and we would go see the small number of sea lions and such, and of course the otters were virtually extinct at that time. Now of course people are complaining about them if you can believe that!!!!! this was really a pleasure for me to see!!!!! The lighting in your shots was awesome! I look forward to seeing more of your fine work!!! __________________ DATS ALL FOLKS Dale W. Guthormsen

February 26th, 2011, 12:57 PM	#12
Marj Atkins Major Player Join Date: May 2007 Location: Johannesburg South Africa Posts: 768	Re: UWOL #19 - Beach Ballet Welcome to UWOL Challenge David! It is really good to have all you new folk raising the bar for us around here. Beautiful footage; well narrated and an interesting story. Just a couple of small things: I feel your story is more about elephant seals than about motion. Perhaps a a few simple changes to your script could solve the problem - even as simple as adding a few "motion" adjectives drawing attention to movement we are seeing. (When I saw your title I thought I would be seeing graceful birds or something similar. I had to smile when I saw your subject! I don't think there could be anything less like graceful ballerinas than those large lumps of blubber but I did find them surprisingly agile at times! ) The other thing that jumped out at me was the speeded up footage at the end. I found it very busy - everything was moving - but there was no point of focus. I don't think it added real value to your otherwise beautiful film. (I presume it was done in order to match the music.) Look forward to seeing more of your stunning work.

February 26th, 2011, 03:56 PM	#13
David Chilson Major Player Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Walworth, NY Posts: 292	Re: UWOL #19 - Beach Ballet Nicely done, David. It kept my interest throughout despite what may be considered a way overdone subject matter. I look forward to seeing more of your work also. I know you guys struggle quite a bit with harsh conditions out your way. I hear that getting that sand in your car can be real annoying! I wonder what sort of whale or endangered species will be visiting your neck of the woods during the next challenge. I know I can rustle up a woodchuck or two and some ducks. Ducks I got. How many cute baby woodchucks does one need to equal some sort of endangered condor? Is there a UWOL animal value chart somewhere? In a field where content is king this film is a winner. Despite the (those were sea gulls?) disaster and the loose interpretation of the motion theme, your subject matter and technical skill pulled along your meandering story line quite nicely! But don't try that with DUCKS!!!! Great Job! __________________ Dave Chilson www.loc.org

March 2nd, 2011, 08:46 AM	#14
Ryan Farnes Major Player Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Maryland, USA Posts: 220	Re: UWOL #19 - Beach Ballet Congratulations and great work on this piece. Wonderful subject matter and great proximity to the animals. __________________ Vimeo Profile Maryland Wilderness Channel

March 3rd, 2011, 12:02 PM	#15
Geir Inge Trustee Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Larsnes, Norway Posts: 1,343	Re: UWOL #19 - Beach Ballet Hi David Congrats on your winning video. I think it's great, liked it very much. You have a wide range/variation of shots. Close ups and some great action scenes, and I'm a big fan of marine type of videos. It's fun to see how these big animals move, and I think thei're not supposed to move that fast, but they do :) Thank you for sharing this video at uwol. __________________ Geir Inge B. Brekke Visit me at: https://vimeo.com/gibbfilm