UWOL #7 - A walk in the park by Paul Mailath at DVinfo.net

Paul Mailath · February 26th, 2008, 05:31 PM

Sorry everyone, I've been away.

Well I must say I'm disappointed - I've watched all of the film from this round in the faint hope that someone else made as many mistakes as me ... but no.

Boy there's some fantastic footage out there - it's really great watching it all.

I originally wanted to do a surfing based story but had 2nd thoughts (a bit too adventurous) but seeing what you guys did I should have gone for it.

I certainly learned lots and I'll get better (of course I may just be may be lurking at the back of the pack just to get the long odds - you never know)

Catherine Russell · February 26th, 2008, 05:53 PM

Hi Paul:

There you are! I personally found your film to be quite inspiring and beautiful. I can honestly say that it had the big theater feel to it with smooth, skillful camera work that gave it lots of drama. Sorry I'm only giving you my impressions.... the others will pile on soon and can give you lots of critique. Thanks for the great film!

Cat

Kevin Railsback · February 26th, 2008, 05:55 PM

Paul,

They're not mistakes, they're creative choices. :)

Your film made me want to visit that park, it's beautiful. So, unless your goal was to ensure that no one ever visits that park then I'd say you did a fine job!

The nice thing about this forum is that we all learn from each other. I remember when Gabriel Yager entered his first film here. ( You can view it in the film vault if you want ) He wasn't very happy with it. But with each film you could see the improvement as well as his confidence as a filmmaker.

Then he found a girl and we haven't heard from him since but that's a whole nother story. :)

Anyway, back to Walk in the Park...

These are just some of my suggestions and some people will agree and some people won't. The important thing is to make the film that YOU want to make.

The opening shot is kind of nondescript.

What if you had your opening text on black faded that out then faded into the opening shot with "A Walk in the Park" titled over the rock? Or even the wide shot at about :50 to use as the master shot of your film.

Show me the park as a whole and then show me the details.

You scared the daylights out of me at :39. I was waiting for the camera to go tumbling down the cliff!

I always like to try and frame my shots with a foreground object to give the shot a feeling of depth. If you take your opening shot for instance and had something like a tree branch or some other object in the foreground it would have given it more depth. As you watch the other films see if you see that type of framing used and think about how it would look in some of your shots.

I thought the shot that started at 1:32 was a bit long. Start at 2:05 and play that and look how nice of a reveal that is. You might have even wanted to use that as an opening shot maybe.

Your music starts to swell at that point but the "prize" is a similar shot we've already kind of seen looking over the edge. When that music swells that's where you want to put the money shot. Big waves crashing or something like that will bring it home for you.

I liked the pan up at the end. Keep an eye on your horizon line though. I have a tough time keeping mine straight as well. I picked up a bubble level to help me with that.

Nice choice of music.

Hats off to you as well for finishing. We had what over 50 people sign up and just over 30 films? That says something right there fell! :)

I thought you showed us some beautiful scenery. With a little tweaking I think you won;t be doing any lurking.

Congrats Paul!

Adrinn Chellton · February 26th, 2008, 08:51 PM

Hi Paul, nice film you have here. Some of the shots are quite beautiful, I especially liked the macro shots across sedimentary layers in the rock, although some shadows mixed into it would have been nice to reveal depth.

The shakiness of the bit coming up to the cliff accurately set the tone for how I would feel up that close. I don't know if that was what you were after though.

This is s good solid entry and I'm sure you will be more satisfied with your work in the future because of it. Keep shooting, can't wait to see your next one.

John Dennis Robertson · February 26th, 2008, 11:29 PM

Hi Paul
Nice coastline footage.I liked the pan up the hill (cliff) to show the tree's blowing in the wind. Its so good to have another player complete and post a video

Geir Inge · February 27th, 2008, 06:35 AM

Hi Paul and congratulation on your uwol entry :)

You deliver a nice film and show us this beautiful landscape. It makes me want to go there and look for myself. Also think you've picked the right music for this one. It must have been an adventure walking the shores in the park. More and more it comes to me that the most exciting adventure can be right outside your front door. Yours just 15 min away. What a wonderful world we live in, eh? And how lucky we are to get to know different parts of it, through uwol?

Wish you all the best
Geir Inge

Per Johan Naesje · February 27th, 2008, 08:07 AM

Paul, what a dramatic piece you got there! I liked it alot.
With the score from a famous tv-serie from some years ago - the Onedin Line, I think it was titled, I could almost catch a glimpse of sailships in the horizon.
I second much of what have been said by the others.
Keep up your good work!

Trond Saetre · February 27th, 2008, 04:40 PM

Hi Paul,

Thanks for sharing the awesome landscape with us. Must have been a very nice experience to be there. Seems like you were right on the edge of the cliffs, walking and filming at the same time. Scary, but you mastered it!
I enjoyed watching it, and you made me want to visit there. Well done.

I am looking forward to your future films.

David Gemmell · February 28th, 2008, 05:06 AM

Hi Paul,

Well done on a nice film, in such a beautiful area. It's amazing some of the beautiful spots on our doorstep that we never seem to bother visiting.

I thought your walk in the park was filmed very well - although I was holding my breath a few times as you walk along the edge of the cliffs - and I though I had gotten over my vertigo!

I felt there were a few scenes you may have held onto for too long - particularly the pan along the cliff face towards the sea. I also would encourage you to do what Kevin mentioned with the depth in your shots and also to start wide, then intermediate, finished with a close up. Watch all the documentaries and you will see they all do this. Works beautifully.

The music was a great choice and with some of your slow pans, combined with such lovely scenes, I thought this worked well.

I read your opening comments in your feedback thread and felt you were very hard on yourself. We are all learning through each other and I certainly would not be disappointed in this entry - quite the opposite.

Well done Paul.

Bob Thieda · February 28th, 2008, 08:08 AM

I certainly wouldn't have been disapointed with your entry.
It held my attention and that's the most important thing, isn't it?
Like others have said, the shot over the cliff was unnerving...especially since I'm not a fan of heights.

Great shots, beautiful park...nice!

Bob T.

Eric Gulbransen · February 28th, 2008, 08:49 PM

Paul, thanks for that. I'm scared of heights. Now I'm stuck on this couch for another two hours till my heart rate slows down..

Beautiful job, scenery, music. Thanks

Paul Mailath · February 29th, 2008, 05:06 AM

thanks everyone, I'm trying to go through every video again looking at the comments that have been made - it's like a giant film class - great!

I haven't commented on individual entries because I don't feel I have the right to - yet. As I improve that will change, but for the moment I'm blown away by all the entries.

It occurred to me that, this is art - we are expressing ourselves as well as our subject.

There was an hour of steadicam footage of which only 2 bits remained, the over the cliff section being one of those. It was an interesting effect that would have been quite good if it were 'steady'.

The pan along the cliff was definitely too long (I was paying too much attention to the music)

And yes it was the onedin Line! - remember those mutton chop sideburns!!!

This is fun! - when's the next one?

Bob Thieda · February 29th, 2008, 08:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paul Mailath

I haven't commented on individual entries because I don't feel I have the right to - yet. As I improve that will change, but for the moment I'm blown away by all the entries.

Oh please do comment. You earned the right by completing an entry.

I'm no expert and this is my first completion, yet I've commented on most of the videos...everyone sees something different and every opinion has value.

I've enjoyed reading the comments on my video and learned something from most of them. I would like to hear your opinion also.

Bob T.

Catherine Russell · February 29th, 2008, 08:03 AM

Hi Paul:

Don't be silly! Of course you have the right to comment on people's threads. Join the fun ;-).

Cat

Dale Guthormsen · February 29th, 2008, 09:21 AM

paul,

Thought I had watched and commented on all the entries, missed yours till this morning.

First, I felt the music definitely enhanced you video.

Second you have a good eye for composing your views!!

Third, to shakey when you desire to give the feeling of walking. (others will say, that is the kettle calling the pot black, as I too have plenty of trouble with this one).

I found it very tranquill and I totally enjoyed watching it!!!

A wide establishing shot to start would have been great addition.

Keep up the great work, I expect to see some great things in the near future!!!

February 26th, 2008, 05:31 PM	#1
Paul Mailath Trustee Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Central Coast - NSW, Australia Posts: 1,606	UWOL #7 - A walk in the park by Paul Mailath Sorry everyone, I've been away. Well I must say I'm disappointed - I've watched all of the film from this round in the faint hope that someone else made as many mistakes as me ... but no. Boy there's some fantastic footage out there - it's really great watching it all. I originally wanted to do a surfing based story but had 2nd thoughts (a bit too adventurous) but seeing what you guys did I should have gone for it. I certainly learned lots and I'll get better (of course I may just be may be lurking at the back of the pack just to get the long odds - you never know) __________________ Cheers - Paul M. www.perbenyik.com

February 26th, 2008, 05:55 PM	#3
Kevin Railsback Trustee Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Cedar Rapids, Iowa Posts: 1,544	Paul, They're not mistakes, they're creative choices. :) Your film made me want to visit that park, it's beautiful. So, unless your goal was to ensure that no one ever visits that park then I'd say you did a fine job! The nice thing about this forum is that we all learn from each other. I remember when Gabriel Yager entered his first film here. ( You can view it in the film vault if you want ) He wasn't very happy with it. But with each film you could see the improvement as well as his confidence as a filmmaker. Then he found a girl and we haven't heard from him since but that's a whole nother story. :) Anyway, back to Walk in the Park... These are just some of my suggestions and some people will agree and some people won't. The important thing is to make the film that YOU want to make. The opening shot is kind of nondescript. What if you had your opening text on black faded that out then faded into the opening shot with "A Walk in the Park" titled over the rock? Or even the wide shot at about :50 to use as the master shot of your film. Show me the park as a whole and then show me the details. You scared the daylights out of me at :39. I was waiting for the camera to go tumbling down the cliff! I always like to try and frame my shots with a foreground object to give the shot a feeling of depth. If you take your opening shot for instance and had something like a tree branch or some other object in the foreground it would have given it more depth. As you watch the other films see if you see that type of framing used and think about how it would look in some of your shots. I thought the shot that started at 1:32 was a bit long. Start at 2:05 and play that and look how nice of a reveal that is. You might have even wanted to use that as an opening shot maybe. Your music starts to swell at that point but the "prize" is a similar shot we've already kind of seen looking over the edge. When that music swells that's where you want to put the money shot. Big waves crashing or something like that will bring it home for you. I liked the pan up at the end. Keep an eye on your horizon line though. I have a tough time keeping mine straight as well. I picked up a bubble level to help me with that. Nice choice of music. Hats off to you as well for finishing. We had what over 50 people sign up and just over 30 films? That says something right there fell! :) I thought you showed us some beautiful scenery. With a little tweaking I think you won;t be doing any lurking. Congrats Paul! __________________ --==Kevin==-- http:naturephotostudios.com.com

February 27th, 2008, 06:35 AM	#6
Geir Inge Trustee Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Larsnes, Norway Posts: 1,343	Hi Paul and congratulation on your uwol entry :) You deliver a nice film and show us this beautiful landscape. It makes me want to go there and look for myself. Also think you've picked the right music for this one. It must have been an adventure walking the shores in the park. More and more it comes to me that the most exciting adventure can be right outside your front door. Yours just 15 min away. What a wonderful world we live in, eh? And how lucky we are to get to know different parts of it, through uwol? Wish you all the best Geir Inge __________________ Geir Inge B. Brekke Visit me at: https://vimeo.com/gibbfilm Last edited by Geir Inge; February 27th, 2008 at 04:13 PM.

February 28th, 2008, 08:08 AM	#10
Bob Thieda Major Player Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Carol Stream, IL Posts: 541	I certainly wouldn't have been disapointed with your entry. It held my attention and that's the most important thing, isn't it? Like others have said, the shot over the cliff was unnerving...especially since I'm not a fan of heights. Great shots, beautiful park...nice! Bob T. __________________ Bob T.

February 29th, 2008, 05:06 AM	#12
Paul Mailath Trustee Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Central Coast - NSW, Australia Posts: 1,606	thanks everyone, I'm trying to go through every video again looking at the comments that have been made - it's like a giant film class - great! I haven't commented on individual entries because I don't feel I have the right to - yet. As I improve that will change, but for the moment I'm blown away by all the entries. It occurred to me that, this is art - we are expressing ourselves as well as our subject. There was an hour of steadicam footage of which only 2 bits remained, the over the cliff section being one of those. It was an interesting effect that would have been quite good if it were 'steady'. The pan along the cliff was definitely too long (I was paying too much attention to the music) And yes it was the onedin Line! - remember those mutton chop sideburns!!! This is fun! - when's the next one? __________________ Cheers - Paul M. www.perbenyik.com

February 26th, 2008, 05:53 PM	#2
Catherine Russell Trustee Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Lyons, Colorado Posts: 1,224	Hi Paul: There you are! I personally found your film to be quite inspiring and beautiful. I can honestly say that it had the big theater feel to it with smooth, skillful camera work that gave it lots of drama. Sorry I'm only giving you my impressions.... the others will pile on soon and can give you lots of critique. Thanks for the great film! Cat

February 26th, 2008, 08:51 PM	#4
Adrinn Chellton Regular Crew Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Carlsbad, CA Posts: 195	Hi Paul, nice film you have here. Some of the shots are quite beautiful, I especially liked the macro shots across sedimentary layers in the rock, although some shadows mixed into it would have been nice to reveal depth. The shakiness of the bit coming up to the cliff accurately set the tone for how I would feel up that close. I don't know if that was what you were after though. This is s good solid entry and I'm sure you will be more satisfied with your work in the future because of it. Keep shooting, can't wait to see your next one.

February 26th, 2008, 11:29 PM	#5
John Dennis Robertson Major Player Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Johanesburg South Africa Posts: 217	Hi Paul Nice coastline footage.I liked the pan up the hill (cliff) to show the tree's blowing in the wind. Its so good to have another player complete and post a video

February 27th, 2008, 08:07 AM	#7
Per Johan Naesje Trustee Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Akershus, Norway Posts: 1,413	Paul, what a dramatic piece you got there! I liked it alot. With the score from a famous tv-serie from some years ago - the Onedin Line, I think it was titled, I could almost catch a glimpse of sailships in the horizon. I second much of what have been said by the others. Keep up your good work! __________________ - Per Johan

February 27th, 2008, 04:40 PM	#8
Trond Saetre Inner Circle Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bergen, Norway Posts: 3,375	Hi Paul, Thanks for sharing the awesome landscape with us. Must have been a very nice experience to be there. Seems like you were right on the edge of the cliffs, walking and filming at the same time. Scary, but you mastered it! I enjoyed watching it, and you made me want to visit there. Well done. I am looking forward to your future films.

February 28th, 2008, 05:06 AM	#9
David Gemmell Major Player Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Bendigo, Australia Posts: 234	Hi Paul, Well done on a nice film, in such a beautiful area. It's amazing some of the beautiful spots on our doorstep that we never seem to bother visiting. I thought your walk in the park was filmed very well - although I was holding my breath a few times as you walk along the edge of the cliffs - and I though I had gotten over my vertigo! I felt there were a few scenes you may have held onto for too long - particularly the pan along the cliff face towards the sea. I also would encourage you to do what Kevin mentioned with the depth in your shots and also to start wide, then intermediate, finished with a close up. Watch all the documentaries and you will see they all do this. Works beautifully. The music was a great choice and with some of your slow pans, combined with such lovely scenes, I thought this worked well. I read your opening comments in your feedback thread and felt you were very hard on yourself. We are all learning through each other and I certainly would not be disappointed in this entry - quite the opposite. Well done Paul.

February 28th, 2008, 08:49 PM	#11
Eric Gulbransen Major Player Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Palo Alto, California Posts: 520	Paul, thanks for that. I'm scared of heights. Now I'm stuck on this couch for another two hours till my heart rate slows down.. Beautiful job, scenery, music. Thanks

February 29th, 2008, 08:03 AM	#14
Catherine Russell Trustee Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Lyons, Colorado Posts: 1,224	Hi Paul: Don't be silly! Of course you have the right to comment on people's threads. Join the fun ;-). Cat

February 29th, 2008, 09:21 AM	#15
Dale Guthormsen Inner Circle Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Saskatchewan Posts: 3,048	paul, Thought I had watched and commented on all the entries, missed yours till this morning. First, I felt the music definitely enhanced you video. Second you have a good eye for composing your views!! Third, to shakey when you desire to give the feeling of walking. (others will say, that is the kettle calling the pot black, as I too have plenty of trouble with this one). I found it very tranquill and I totally enjoyed watching it!!! A wide establishing shot to start would have been great addition. Keep up the great work, I expect to see some great things in the near future!!! __________________ DATS ALL FOLKS Dale W. Guthormsen