How do you get this type of blue sunlight cinematography?

[Ryan Elder]

But there are power struggles with other subplots going on.well how do you write a senior investigators comment on the situation though? Like for example the scene I posted before from a real movie does the same thing .

[Brian Drysdale]

No it's not the same, they're ordering some one to Atlanta for check for prints, so then this guy reports with new information and they wonder if someone has ever been fingerprinted. The scene where they discuss the latter as a group on the phone is way shorter and sharper then your scene, The body language in the first part is of someone who has authority and is decisive..

I don't know if the finger print expert has already been established in the film, but looking at these scenes it sounds like he has been,.

Commenting is exposition.

[Ryan Elder]

Oh okay. Well the reason why it's shorter in the clip is that the fingerprints are less to go over, or just one plot point, where as in my scene there are two plot points to go over, possibly 3 depending, on how you count them. So I thought my scene was just going to be longer either way, if they are discussing more plot points in the case.

The finger print man on the phone did not have any prior scenes in that scene.

But I can try to write it sharper.

[Brian Drysdale]

Henderson thinks she's s lying, but there are a number reasons why someone will lie about something. The scene just gives the impression that the detectives have more to do and you're spending a lot of time doing it.without any real drama.

Was the fingerprint guy around in an earlier scene in the film?

[Ryan Elder]

Oh okay thanks, that's interesting. What about it specifically, gives the impression that the detectives have more to do?

When you say real drama, are you saying they should be more emotional about it, and get into a shouting match, for example?

No, the fingerprint guy was not in any earlier scenes in that movie.

[Brian Drysdale]

You don't need a shouting match, you need dramatic beats within scene. Are all your characters the same? If they aren't, they read like they are. Some push back by one or two of them would add something. extra.

I'm not sure why you believe that it's anything other they have things to do.

Finger print guy must be a slight of hand or he hit the cutting room floor, so not an important character. However, note that the audience knows something about him before they hear his voice.

[Ryan Elder]

Oh okay, how does the audience know something about him before they hear his voice?

Well I thought I did have that pushback since the prosecutor thinks he doesn't have a case, but the cop wants him to go through with it any way and take a chance. Isn't that pushback?

[Brian Drysdale]

The finger print guy's skills are given in the first phone call. They learn he;s an expert, respected by a key character.

It's weak push back, the cops should know that they've got a weak case and they have to prove someone is lying, otherwise it won't hold up in a criminal case. In a scene that long, you need to sense their different characters, at the moment you don't.

[Ryan Elder]

Oh okay, thanks I can try to write the characters differently.

The cops do not have to prove the victim is lying do they? I thought that was up to the defense. But the police want to pressure the defedant into cutting a detail the other villains, so in order to do that, they have to give the appearance that they are going through with the case, in order to pressure him.

[Brian Drysdale]

The cops don't need to prove it, but it may be unlikely a case will proceed if everyone is doubtful, since they know she/he will come under cross examination and they don't have evidence to back them up. Rape cases can be difficult in this regard, so this is part of the drama.

To put pressure on a defendant, they will need to know enough evidence to put the pressure on. Of course, they may just use a plea bargaining system, but dramatically it's better if there's pressure applied.

[Ryan Elder]

Oh okay. Yeah they want to apply pressure so the defendant will take the plea bargain of course. But the way I wrote it was they decide not to put the victim on th stand, in the case, since she is not being reliable, and hope to pressure him with the other evidence, and just rely on evidence based prosecution as pressure.

[Brian Drysdale]

That's a poor way of telling a story, unless you're doing "The Godfather II".

[Ryan Elder]

Oh okay, how is it a poor way of telling a story?

[Brian Drysdale]

Because if someone just confesses, there's no story to tell because there's no struggle,

[Ryan Elder]

Oh yeah, the villain doesn't confess, and the plan doesn't work.