Show Your Work 2008

Matt Abramson · September 9th, 2008, 01:43 PM

I agree that the sci-fi theme stopped kind of suddenly. But you definitely have an eye for shots. And nice work with the letters, I assume done in After Effects.

Daniel Alexander · September 9th, 2008, 05:36 PM

I thought generally it was very good, however there were a few things i would change if I could. The first thing is the opening shot of the bar where u zoom out from the tv to the bar, i feel it ends to abruptly which ruins an otherwise nice looking shot. I'm not quite sure but i think i see the brightness changing on the shot of the live performances which isn't major but it is noticible. But on a whole i think you captured the life of the bar very well and i like the variety in shots to match the description, i know you've mentioned the audio out of sync so i'm sure you'l sort that but again i think if you tightened up some of those shots you'd have agreat looking ad. I genuinly enjoyed viewing it.

M. Paul El-Darwish · September 9th, 2008, 08:11 PM

I'd reverse the zooms out from the sign and from the television so that they read as zooms in. I'd avoid mixing the crane downwards shot with the two pans.Just pans will do.
Hire a food stylist or study some TVC's. The food probably tastes great but it looks very amateurishly styled. Finally, even though natural & ambient light are nice to be in, for a TVC it helps to help nature a bit. Some rim lights here and there would have added a bit of sparkle to otherwise rather flat looking shots. Also, I try to shoot for mood. Rarely between the hours of 10AM and 2PM for outdoors stuff.

Rick J. Johnson · September 10th, 2008, 09:52 AM

Thanks for the input it is much appreciated

Paul Whittington · September 10th, 2008, 09:30 PM

Thanks Lori, glad you liked it.

Todd Kivimaki · September 12th, 2008, 10:28 AM

Thanks for the replies.

Daniel I agree with both of those items, I change the zoom out from the tv to have a definite ending. Also I inserted another clip where the brightness wasn't changing on the band. Thank you for the feedback!

Paul thank you also for the feedback. I reversed the sign shot so that it would zoom in as the name is said. I realize a food stylist would be great, but for the price I was paid ($350) I probably could not even afford to talk to a stylist on the phone. And to boot the owner wasn't making anything special for the commercial; everything was shot before it left the kitchen. Yes I am serious, as food was ordered that night it was brought out to the counter and I filmed it before it went to the table.

That night no one ordered a burrito while I was there so the kitchen made one for me, after I was done with my shot I saw the cook take the burrito apart and put the rice back with the rice and shell back in the container.

I agree the outside shot could have looked better, it was later in the day around 7:00-7:30 but it was a dreary day with no clouds or bright blue skies.

I had my tota light set with me that night and used it for all the shots, any idea on how to get the shot to not look so dull? Maybe I need to look over in post, or maybe I am approaching the limits of the gl2?

Here is the updated version:
http://videomemoriesinc.com/kriegel/edit2.wmv

Thanks all,
Todd

Tim Harjo · September 12th, 2008, 06:37 PM

I don't do commercials, but I liked it a lot. Considering as you say, "low budget", I thought It was great.

Giuseppe Palumbo · September 12th, 2008, 07:15 PM

Its posted below. I know its kinda long but I dont care ;)

Giuseppe Palumbo Reel 2008 on Vimeo

Lori Starfelt · September 13th, 2008, 12:48 AM

The editing is snazzy in some ways, but you aren't giving me anything to sink my teeth into. since I don't know what you do, it's hard to tell if you can tell a story from that reel. The images collide beautifully, but I don't know where they go and they aren't enigmatic enough to hold my attention as it is.

I think I see technical skill, and certainly some artistry, but I don't see storytelling skills. And I think focusing on communicating your ability to tell a story, might enhance our perception of your technical skills.

For what it's worth.

Giuseppe Palumbo · September 13th, 2008, 07:31 AM

you couldntve said it better :)

Jordi Dusanek · September 13th, 2008, 03:23 PM

I liked it very much too, nice colours and overall cinematography.

Paul Del Vecchio · September 13th, 2008, 07:12 PM

Please check out our latest film FALLOUT. From the GRAND PRIZE WINNERS of The Weinstein Company’s/George Romero’s “Diary of the Dead” DVD film competition comes our latest film, FALLOUT.

Director Paul Del Vecchio's Blog: Horror-Movies.ca Article on FALLOUT!

Click on the link for information and CLICK ON THE THUMBS UP TO VOTE:

Thanks for the support!

Jordi Dusanek · September 14th, 2008, 03:24 AM

Hello,

I've got this cam around one month ago, and until now was making tests. This is finally something "complete".

The idea was to make a really quick cake recipe, and make it look dinamic. There are issues with the focus on some shots, and maybe some weird movements, but hey, it's my first work...

Beside all the errors, I hope you like it!

Fast.Breakfest on Vimeo

All comments are welcome!

Jordi.

Ian Stark · September 14th, 2008, 07:00 AM

Agree with pretty much everything said already - overall good for low budget (I know how that goes!). My main critical comments would be:

- the food presentation was very uninviting. It was lit fine but tinfoil and plastic sauce pots look kinda cheap and nasty. To be honest, it was the initial pizza and sandwich shot that looked extremely weak to me and that made me want to find fault in the other shots! (Sorry!!).

- personally I like quiet bars, but this place looked almost morgue-quiet - especially the early shots - the garden was empty and the pan from 0.02 to 0.04 only had a few clients in shot. As the v/o is describing the unique atmosphere at that point it kinda suggests 'unique' = 'empty'. I think the issue was shooting during the day - I appreciate you can't always control these things but if it were me I would have looked to shoot at night. A bit of ambient bar noise foley (glasses clinking, laughter etc) would also lift the atmosphere somewhat.

But again, overall impression was good for a low budget commercial.

Ian Stark · September 14th, 2008, 07:38 AM

http://www.videoit.uk.com/client_vid..._v502avnet.wmv

This is a slightly updated version that is being used in the UK (the other version is for the US and Canada). There are a couple of other improvements, mainly timing, colour and foley corrections.

Would welcome some criticism! One comment that a couple of people have made is that the 'white office' section is a little too long. I fully agree. Client decision I'm afraid. I managed to cut 70 seconds from the original version, after much debate, but they wouldn't agree to further cuts. Hey ho, I got paid . . .

September 9th, 2008, 01:43 PM	#931
Matt Abramson Regular Crew Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Gainesville, Florida Posts: 42	Nicely done. I agree that the sci-fi theme stopped kind of suddenly. But you definitely have an eye for shots. And nice work with the letters, I assume done in After Effects. Last edited by Matt Abramson; September 9th, 2008 at 01:46 PM. Reason: spelling

September 10th, 2008, 09:30 PM	#935
Paul Whittington Regular Crew Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Vancouver Island Posts: 106	Thanks Lori, glad you liked it. __________________ www.orangecorefilms.com Short Films & Stop-motion Animation

September 12th, 2008, 07:15 PM	#938
Giuseppe Palumbo Regular Crew Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Cleveland, Ohio Posts: 199 Images: 7	My Reel for 2008 (oppioonss please ) Its posted below. I know its kinda long but I dont care ;) Giuseppe Palumbo Reel 2008 on Vimeo __________________ AIM - N film B www.nbfilms.us

September 13th, 2008, 12:48 AM	#939
Lori Starfelt Major Player Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Los Angeles, california Posts: 228	I'm not sure whether it's about the shooting or the editing. The editing is snazzy in some ways, but you aren't giving me anything to sink my teeth into. since I don't know what you do, it's hard to tell if you can tell a story from that reel. The images collide beautifully, but I don't know where they go and they aren't enigmatic enough to hold my attention as it is. I think I see technical skill, and certainly some artistry, but I don't see storytelling skills. And I think focusing on communicating your ability to tell a story, might enhance our perception of your technical skills. For what it's worth.

September 13th, 2008, 07:31 AM	#940
Giuseppe Palumbo Regular Crew Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Cleveland, Ohio Posts: 199 Images: 7	you couldntve said it better :) __________________ AIM - N film B www.nbfilms.us

September 9th, 2008, 05:36 PM	#932
Daniel Alexander Major Player Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: West Midlands, UK Posts: 320	I thought generally it was very good, however there were a few things i would change if I could. The first thing is the opening shot of the bar where u zoom out from the tv to the bar, i feel it ends to abruptly which ruins an otherwise nice looking shot. I'm not quite sure but i think i see the brightness changing on the shot of the live performances which isn't major but it is noticible. But on a whole i think you captured the life of the bar very well and i like the variety in shots to match the description, i know you've mentioned the audio out of sync so i'm sure you'l sort that but again i think if you tightened up some of those shots you'd have agreat looking ad. I genuinly enjoyed viewing it.

September 9th, 2008, 08:11 PM	#933
M. Paul El-Darwish Regular Crew Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Gaithersburg, MD Posts: 107	I'd reverse the zooms out from the sign and from the television so that they read as zooms in. I'd avoid mixing the crane downwards shot with the two pans.Just pans will do. Hire a food stylist or study some TVC's. The food probably tastes great but it looks very amateurishly styled. Finally, even though natural & ambient light are nice to be in, for a TVC it helps to help nature a bit. Some rim lights here and there would have added a bit of sparkle to otherwise rather flat looking shots. Also, I try to shoot for mood. Rarely between the hours of 10AM and 2PM for outdoors stuff.

September 10th, 2008, 09:52 AM	#934
Rick J. Johnson New Boot Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Vacaville Ca Posts: 11	Thanks for the input it is much appreciated

September 12th, 2008, 10:28 AM	#936
Todd Kivimaki Major Player Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Elida Ohio Posts: 217	Thanks for the replies. Daniel I agree with both of those items, I change the zoom out from the tv to have a definite ending. Also I inserted another clip where the brightness wasn't changing on the band. Thank you for the feedback! Paul thank you also for the feedback. I reversed the sign shot so that it would zoom in as the name is said. I realize a food stylist would be great, but for the price I was paid ($350) I probably could not even afford to talk to a stylist on the phone. And to boot the owner wasn't making anything special for the commercial; everything was shot before it left the kitchen. Yes I am serious, as food was ordered that night it was brought out to the counter and I filmed it before it went to the table. That night no one ordered a burrito while I was there so the kitchen made one for me, after I was done with my shot I saw the cook take the burrito apart and put the rice back with the rice and shell back in the container. I agree the outside shot could have looked better, it was later in the day around 7:00-7:30 but it was a dreary day with no clouds or bright blue skies. I had my tota light set with me that night and used it for all the shots, any idea on how to get the shot to not look so dull? Maybe I need to look over in post, or maybe I am approaching the limits of the gl2? Here is the updated version: http://videomemoriesinc.com/kriegel/edit2.wmv Thanks all, Todd

September 12th, 2008, 06:37 PM	#937
Tim Harjo Regular Crew Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Sacramento, California Posts: 195	I don't do commercials, but I liked it a lot. Considering as you say, "low budget", I thought It was great.

September 13th, 2008, 03:23 PM	#941
Jordi Dusanek Regular Crew Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 38	I liked it very much too, nice colours and overall cinematography.

September 13th, 2008, 07:12 PM	#942
Paul Del Vecchio Regular Crew Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Syosset, NY Posts: 61	"FALLOUT" new short from the Diary of the Dead Short Film Contest Winners Please check out our latest film FALLOUT. From the GRAND PRIZE WINNERS of The Weinstein Company’s/George Romero’s “Diary of the Dead” DVD film competition comes our latest film, FALLOUT. Director Paul Del Vecchio's Blog: Horror-Movies.ca Article on FALLOUT! Click on the link for information and CLICK ON THE THUMBS UP TO VOTE: Thanks for the support! __________________ Triple E Productions - Award Winning Films/Services www.PaulDV.com

September 14th, 2008, 03:24 AM	#943
Jordi Dusanek Regular Crew Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 38	My first "crime" with the Jvc HD200 Hello, I've got this cam around one month ago, and until now was making tests. This is finally something "complete". The idea was to make a really quick cake recipe, and make it look dinamic. There are issues with the focus on some shots, and maybe some weird movements, but hey, it's my first work... Beside all the errors, I hope you like it! Fast.Breakfest on Vimeo All comments are welcome! Jordi.

September 14th, 2008, 07:00 AM	#944
Ian Stark Inner Circle Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Hampshire, UK Posts: 2,237	Agree with pretty much everything said already - overall good for low budget (I know how that goes!). My main critical comments would be: - the food presentation was very uninviting. It was lit fine but tinfoil and plastic sauce pots look kinda cheap and nasty. To be honest, it was the initial pizza and sandwich shot that looked extremely weak to me and that made me want to find fault in the other shots! (Sorry!!). - personally I like quiet bars, but this place looked almost morgue-quiet - especially the early shots - the garden was empty and the pan from 0.02 to 0.04 only had a few clients in shot. As the v/o is describing the unique atmosphere at that point it kinda suggests 'unique' = 'empty'. I think the issue was shooting during the day - I appreciate you can't always control these things but if it were me I would have looked to shoot at night. A bit of ambient bar noise foley (glasses clinking, laughter etc) would also lift the atmosphere somewhat. But again, overall impression was good for a low budget commercial. __________________ www.vit-media.com www.classicmachinefilms.co.uk

September 14th, 2008, 07:38 AM	#945
Ian Stark Inner Circle Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Hampshire, UK Posts: 2,237	Updated version http://www.videoit.uk.com/client_vid..._v502avnet.wmv This is a slightly updated version that is being used in the UK (the other version is for the US and Canada). There are a couple of other improvements, mainly timing, colour and foley corrections. Would welcome some criticism! One comment that a couple of people have made is that the 'white office' section is a little too long. I fully agree. Client decision I'm afraid. I managed to cut 70 seconds from the original version, after much debate, but they wouldn't agree to further cuts. Hey ho, I got paid . . . __________________ www.vit-media.com www.classicmachinefilms.co.uk