My first commercial(criticism please) at DVinfo.net

Steven Hoffman · November 14th, 2006, 12:02 PM

Okay, my dad owns a jewelery store and got a camera so that we could film commercials for other jewelers in other markets. To prove that I'm capable of doing his standard commercial we filmed a christmas commercial.

I've done some minor video editing before, but nothing for people to see, and I never went to school for this kind of thing. So Im really looking for input, harsh criticism is okay

I shot it on an AG-HVX200 and edited in premiere pro

Heres the new commercial I did:
http://www.brandingisnotanoption.com...s/mark2web.wmv

My dads store is almost impossible to film in because the 3 walls facing the counters are windows. and strong tungsten and Florescent lighting fills the back area behind the counter.

Any comments, suggestion, criticism, and maybe pointing out any shots that were done well, would help me become better at this.

Edward Slonaker · November 14th, 2006, 12:22 PM

Looks pretty darn professional. The VO narration was a little soft, compared to Santa and the sales guy. The time between showcasing the various styles was a little too quick (especially in the "3-stone" clip) but, overall, a good job. WOW! That is a small space, too! Well done.

Jeff Cottrone · November 14th, 2006, 12:57 PM

Steven,

Looks great. You do an excellent job of framing, so I don't have any one shot to say, that's good. They're all well framed. The music flows well with the x-mas sounds. And the VO works fine too. It may be slightly soft, but nothing major. The pacing is good. The cuts are well timed to the music...all good.

Three things I didn't like:
--in the very first shot the background out the window is all washed out and catches the eye too much. maybe a different background would have worked better. but it looks like a tiny place, so your options were probably limited.

--the external shot of the building. i know Buffalo weather b/c i live in Rochester, but even we get a clear blue sky once in awhile (it is still blue, right?). it's not a big deal, but just like the Santa shot, a nicer background would have made the shot come more alive.

--the font is questionable. not sure about that yellow either. i'm sure yellow was picked b/c it stood out the most, but i don't know, the combination of that shade and that font has an amateur feel. and since the rest looks great, i think it brings it down a notch, IMO. Overall, great job.

Steven Hoffman · November 14th, 2006, 01:37 PM

Thanks for the input.

As far as the outdoor shot goes, I had major difficulty filming it clearly on bright days, with the glass as reflective as it is, I had trouble seeing any of the text on the glass when it was any brighter.

even with a day like I had I had to watch the shifting light very carefully because reflections(or some trick of the neon lights) were causing the neon window lights to fade in and out of visibility. The fact that It had to be a corner shot made light even harder to balance, as light was almost always too bright on one side or the other. on a bright day it would have killed me.

Any suggestions on fiming a reflective object outdoors?

Sheldon Blais · November 14th, 2006, 03:09 PM

I liked it. I didn't notice the reflections....

Good production and video clarity.....

G. Scott Roberts · November 14th, 2006, 10:22 PM

I agree with above, it really looked good "as-is", good-job.

Werner Wesp · November 16th, 2006, 07:07 AM

You did this with a HVX200?

You might have stopped down the aperture some more then. The footage will start to look a lot better with less overexposed areas in the frame.

Also - quick dissolves between the shots of jewels e.g.? just a thought...

For an unexperienced person this isn't all that bad...

Mike Teutsch · November 16th, 2006, 07:46 AM

Steven,

Cute! Any room for customers in that store? :)

Mike

Steven Hoffman · November 16th, 2006, 10:06 AM

mike, its typically packed with 10+ customers and a secretary all sitting and standing filling the store wall to wall... amusing little box.

Bob Sandifer · November 21st, 2006, 08:39 AM

Steven,
Honestly this looks better than what our local stations put into the market. The clips font seemed a bit "windows-ish" but that was the only thing that stood out to me. Great job and that itty bitty shop is awesome.

Clay Coulter · November 21st, 2006, 08:23 PM

Great job, Steven. I like the arm and leg angle and the feel is warm and inviting. I want to go sit and have a cup of hot chocolate with these folks. Here are some suggestions:

1. There is a mismatch in color levels and balance between shots. The inside shots are oversaturated especially in the reds. The jewelry shots seem colorless and flat. Can you use darker displays like dark blue or black to set the jewelry off? The gold especially needs to be enhanced. Use extreme closeups if necessary to catch the beauty of the jewelry pieces. Overall, getting the color levels more balanced between your shots would improve the visual quality.

2. Animate your text to create visual interest. Fly it in or out or let it drift in like snowflakes, but don't flash it. Flashing text is always painful...always. Also choose a different font - one that doesn't look so corporate. Something informal and fun like the overall feel of your commercial would be better.

3. Your VO level is too low compared with the other levels (as several fine listeners had already pointed out.)

You have great content in what you have, Steven. If this is your first attempt at a commercial, I think you are headed for the pros if you want.

Best regards,

Clay Coulter

Joe Goldsberry · November 21st, 2006, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steven Hoffman

Any suggestions on fiming a reflective object outdoors?

Use a polarizing filter on the lens while filming to reduce glare or reflections.

Joe

Alex Amira · November 23rd, 2006, 10:53 PM

Nice video quality.

A few things to try:

For the outside shot you want a wide angle low shot. Put the camera on the pavement and then raise the front of the camera while the back is touching the ground until you get the whole store in the frame. It will give it a more massive look.

Take a ladder and stand up on it by the door and shoot customers walking in.

When the customers are at the counter with the sales personput the camera on the counter and get both of them in frame.

Overall you did a fanatstic job for first time. Better than many local commericals I see on cable.

Kyle Prohaska · November 25th, 2006, 05:39 PM

Haha I live near there and see their commercials all the time so when I opened the file I laughed so hard. There commercials are normally very bad and corny but thats what makes me remember them (which I guess is good lol). You seemed to keep that tradition because the commercial was rather corny but it was well done. Like that guy said the edits were a tad sloppy but o well.

I haven't had the chance to look at an HVX in real life yet. Is there a possibility of a meet up somewhere so I can get a look at that thing?

-Kyle

Steven Hoffman · November 26th, 2006, 02:13 PM

Yeah, if you want to come out to buffalo and give it a look I'd be more than happy to show you the camera.

Im normally in the office with the camera from 10am-6pm weekdays, and Im there till 4pm saturdays. The office is in the same plaza as the store, just look for "Leg Up Marketing and Productions"

give me a call when your free.
716-563-4944

November 14th, 2006, 12:02 PM	#1
Steven Hoffman Regular Crew Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Buffalo, New York Posts: 51	My first commercial(criticism please) Okay, my dad owns a jewelery store and got a camera so that we could film commercials for other jewelers in other markets. To prove that I'm capable of doing his standard commercial we filmed a christmas commercial. I've done some minor video editing before, but nothing for people to see, and I never went to school for this kind of thing. So Im really looking for input, harsh criticism is okay I shot it on an AG-HVX200 and edited in premiere pro Heres the new commercial I did: http://www.brandingisnotanoption.com...s/mark2web.wmv My dads store is almost impossible to film in because the 3 walls facing the counters are windows. and strong tungsten and Florescent lighting fills the back area behind the counter. Any comments, suggestion, criticism, and maybe pointing out any shots that were done well, would help me become better at this.

November 14th, 2006, 12:22 PM	#2
Edward Slonaker Major Player Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Hell's 6 acres in S. Texas Posts: 203	Looks pretty darn professional. The VO narration was a little soft, compared to Santa and the sales guy. The time between showcasing the various styles was a little too quick (especially in the "3-stone" clip) but, overall, a good job. WOW! That is a small space, too! Well done. __________________ Edward Slonaker El Pilon Productions San Patricio, Texas www.elpilon.com

November 14th, 2006, 10:22 PM	#6
G. Scott Roberts New Boot Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Lake Elsinore, CA Posts: 22	I agree with above, it really looked good "as-is", good-job. __________________ Canon XL1s, Canon Digital Rebel, Misc. lenses and other toys... : )

November 16th, 2006, 07:07 AM	#7
Werner Wesp Major Player Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Belgium Posts: 497	You did this with a HVX200? You might have stopped down the aperture some more then. The footage will start to look a lot better with less overexposed areas in the frame. Also - quick dissolves between the shots of jewels e.g.? just a thought... For an unexperienced person this isn't all that bad... __________________ High-Definition Video Consultant - CEO of Delimex NV - http://www.delimex.be gear of choice : http://www.wespgear.com

November 16th, 2006, 07:46 AM	#8
Mike Teutsch Inner Circle Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Port St. Lucie, Florida Posts: 2,614	Steven, Cute! Any room for customers in that store? :) Mike __________________ Chapter one, line one. The BH.

November 14th, 2006, 12:57 PM	#3
Jeff Cottrone Regular Crew Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Rochester, NY Posts: 100	Steven, Looks great. You do an excellent job of framing, so I don't have any one shot to say, that's good. They're all well framed. The music flows well with the x-mas sounds. And the VO works fine too. It may be slightly soft, but nothing major. The pacing is good. The cuts are well timed to the music...all good. Three things I didn't like: --in the very first shot the background out the window is all washed out and catches the eye too much. maybe a different background would have worked better. but it looks like a tiny place, so your options were probably limited. --the external shot of the building. i know Buffalo weather b/c i live in Rochester, but even we get a clear blue sky once in awhile (it is still blue, right?). it's not a big deal, but just like the Santa shot, a nicer background would have made the shot come more alive. --the font is questionable. not sure about that yellow either. i'm sure yellow was picked b/c it stood out the most, but i don't know, the combination of that shade and that font has an amateur feel. and since the rest looks great, i think it brings it down a notch, IMO. Overall, great job.

November 14th, 2006, 01:37 PM	#4
Steven Hoffman Regular Crew Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Buffalo, New York Posts: 51	Thanks for the input. As far as the outdoor shot goes, I had major difficulty filming it clearly on bright days, with the glass as reflective as it is, I had trouble seeing any of the text on the glass when it was any brighter. even with a day like I had I had to watch the shifting light very carefully because reflections(or some trick of the neon lights) were causing the neon window lights to fade in and out of visibility. The fact that It had to be a corner shot made light even harder to balance, as light was almost always too bright on one side or the other. on a bright day it would have killed me. Any suggestions on fiming a reflective object outdoors?

November 14th, 2006, 03:09 PM	#5
Sheldon Blais Regular Crew Join Date: May 2006 Location: Boston, MA Posts: 114	I liked it. I didn't notice the reflections.... Good production and video clarity.....

November 16th, 2006, 10:06 AM	#9
Steven Hoffman Regular Crew Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Buffalo, New York Posts: 51	mike, its typically packed with 10+ customers and a secretary all sitting and standing filling the store wall to wall... amusing little box.

November 21st, 2006, 08:39 AM	#10
Bob Sandifer Regular Crew Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Atlanta, Georgia Posts: 33	Steven, Honestly this looks better than what our local stations put into the market. The clips font seemed a bit "windows-ish" but that was the only thing that stood out to me. Great job and that itty bitty shop is awesome.

November 21st, 2006, 08:23 PM	#11
Clay Coulter Regular Crew Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Nashville TN Posts: 29	Excellent Job Great job, Steven. I like the arm and leg angle and the feel is warm and inviting. I want to go sit and have a cup of hot chocolate with these folks. Here are some suggestions: 1. There is a mismatch in color levels and balance between shots. The inside shots are oversaturated especially in the reds. The jewelry shots seem colorless and flat. Can you use darker displays like dark blue or black to set the jewelry off? The gold especially needs to be enhanced. Use extreme closeups if necessary to catch the beauty of the jewelry pieces. Overall, getting the color levels more balanced between your shots would improve the visual quality. 2. Animate your text to create visual interest. Fly it in or out or let it drift in like snowflakes, but don't flash it. Flashing text is always painful...always. Also choose a different font - one that doesn't look so corporate. Something informal and fun like the overall feel of your commercial would be better. 3. Your VO level is too low compared with the other levels (as several fine listeners had already pointed out.) You have great content in what you have, Steven. If this is your first attempt at a commercial, I think you are headed for the pros if you want. Best regards, Clay Coulter

November 23rd, 2006, 10:53 PM	#13
Alex Amira Regular Crew Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Muncie, IN Posts: 74	Nice video quality. A few things to try: For the outside shot you want a wide angle low shot. Put the camera on the pavement and then raise the front of the camera while the back is touching the ground until you get the whole store in the frame. It will give it a more massive look. Take a ladder and stand up on it by the door and shoot customers walking in. When the customers are at the counter with the sales personput the camera on the counter and get both of them in frame. Overall you did a fanatstic job for first time. Better than many local commericals I see on cable.

November 25th, 2006, 05:39 PM	#14
Kyle Prohaska Major Player Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Ransomville NY Posts: 239	Haha I live near there and see their commercials all the time so when I opened the file I laughed so hard. There commercials are normally very bad and corny but thats what makes me remember them (which I guess is good lol). You seemed to keep that tradition because the commercial was rather corny but it was well done. Like that guy said the edits were a tad sloppy but o well. I haven't had the chance to look at an HVX in real life yet. Is there a possibility of a meet up somewhere so I can get a look at that thing? -Kyle __________________ Online Portfolio \| Feature Film on XHA1

November 26th, 2006, 02:13 PM	#15
Steven Hoffman Regular Crew Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Buffalo, New York Posts: 51	RE:Kyle Yeah, if you want to come out to buffalo and give it a look I'd be more than happy to show you the camera. Im normally in the office with the camera from 10am-6pm weekdays, and Im there till 4pm saturdays. The office is in the same plaza as the store, just look for "Leg Up Marketing and Productions" give me a call when your free. 716-563-4944