Law Firm Commercial at DVinfo.net

Brock Burwell · November 23rd, 2016, 12:30 PM

Put this short 30 second commercial together for an attorney here in town. I didn't want to do the typical attorney commercial with a car crashing sound in the background and all the graphics everywhere (not that I actually would know how to do that if I wanted to). He hired me for the work he's seen from me in the past, which has this kind of feel to it, so I didn't want to veer too far away from that. Thoughts?

PS - Haven't settled on this music so it still has the watermark on it.

Vince Pachiano · November 23rd, 2016, 02:32 PM

2 small nit-picks

1. The audio quality is different between the main voice-over and the ending scene. It's a little jarring.
2. Driving his car... 1. He is a little too casual with one hand on the steering wheel, and no seatbelt. I don't see any connection between an Attorney for hire and driving a car. As a client, I like to imagine him either At work, or in the courtroom. But not driving a car.

Brock Burwell · November 23rd, 2016, 02:52 PM

Yea you may be right about how causal he is driving. He actually is wearing a seatbelt though (it blends into his jacket a bit).

The idea was to tell a story subliminally (driving to work, walking to work, in his office, typing on his computer). Perhaps you are right that the driving isn't necessarily needed. Thanks for the feedback!

Chuck Spaulding · November 24th, 2016, 09:40 AM

Not sure if its his accent but I had to listen to the opening twice to figure out it was Charleston. Obviously if its being aired locally that won't be an issue.

Nice work.

Steven Reid · November 26th, 2016, 12:33 AM

Nice work, Brock. That was actually refreshing. I'm an attorney -- not personal injury -- and about 99% of the commercials advertising legal services make me cringe; I wonder who was making creative and substantive decisions.

Two points: the narrator swallows most endings of his sentences. I realize he likely isn't voice talent, and he likely sounds great in person, but here I had to pay close attention as his voice trailed off.

Second, he referred to "us." Small firm? If so, why not show him and his colleagues working together in a conference room or, if you can, in a staged courtroom? The group shots made me wonder whether he was speaking to clients. If these are his colleagues, it looks like they're having a casual chat about confidential client business in the open; that isn't a message I would want to telegraph to potential clients.

My $0.02.

Brock Burwell · November 28th, 2016, 01:17 PM

Great advice guys! Thanks!

November 23rd, 2016, 12:30 PM	#1
Brock Burwell Major Player Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Charleston, WV Posts: 385	Law Firm Commercial Put this short 30 second commercial together for an attorney here in town. I didn't want to do the typical attorney commercial with a car crashing sound in the background and all the graphics everywhere (not that I actually would know how to do that if I wanted to). He hired me for the work he's seen from me in the past, which has this kind of feel to it, so I didn't want to veer too far away from that. Thoughts? PS - Haven't settled on this music so it still has the watermark on it. Cary Law Firm v3 - YouTube

November 23rd, 2016, 02:32 PM	#2
Vince Pachiano Major Player Join Date: May 2008 Location: Dayton, OH Posts: 307	Re: Law Firm Commercial 2 small nit-picks 1. The audio quality is different between the main voice-over and the ending scene. It's a little jarring. 2. Driving his car... 1. He is a little too casual with one hand on the steering wheel, and no seatbelt. I don't see any connection between an Attorney for hire and driving a car. As a client, I like to imagine him either At work, or in the courtroom. But not driving a car.

November 23rd, 2016, 02:52 PM	#3
Brock Burwell Major Player Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Charleston, WV Posts: 385	Re: Law Firm Commercial Yea you may be right about how causal he is driving. He actually is wearing a seatbelt though (it blends into his jacket a bit). The idea was to tell a story subliminally (driving to work, walking to work, in his office, typing on his computer). Perhaps you are right that the driving isn't necessarily needed. Thanks for the feedback!

November 24th, 2016, 09:40 AM	#4
Chuck Spaulding Trustee Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Thousand Oaks Posts: 1,104	Re: Law Firm Commercial Not sure if its his accent but I had to listen to the opening twice to figure out it was Charleston. Obviously if its being aired locally that won't be an issue. Nice work.

November 26th, 2016, 12:33 AM	#5
Steven Reid Major Player Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Salem, Oregon Posts: 435	Re: Law Firm Commercial Nice work, Brock. That was actually refreshing. I'm an attorney -- not personal injury -- and about 99% of the commercials advertising legal services make me cringe; I wonder who was making creative and substantive decisions. Two points: the narrator swallows most endings of his sentences. I realize he likely isn't voice talent, and he likely sounds great in person, but here I had to pay close attention as his voice trailed off. Second, he referred to "us." Small firm? If so, why not show him and his colleagues working together in a conference room or, if you can, in a staged courtroom? The group shots made me wonder whether he was speaking to clients. If these are his colleagues, it looks like they're having a casual chat about confidential client business in the open; that isn't a message I would want to telegraph to potential clients. My $0.02. __________________ www.CinemActionFilms.com

November 28th, 2016, 01:17 PM	#6
Brock Burwell Major Player Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Charleston, WV Posts: 385	Re: Law Firm Commercial Great advice guys! Thanks!