New short film - opinions needed

[David Evans]

Hi guys,

Really wanted to read some opinions on my last short. Thanks!

YouTube (Short URL)

Please watch in HD.

Thanks

[Gary Huff]

I automatically tune out as soon as any short opens with someone in bed. It is literally 36 seconds before your character gets out of bed.

[David Evans]

I understand this is the internet and we're not in a dark room watching a film, but could you please give it a chance? I think it needs that time. That shot is showing the sun come up and a very quiet and relaxed person sleeping. After 30 sec, everything changes.

[Gary Huff]

Originally Posted by David Evans

I think it needs that time. That shot is showing the sun come up and a very quiet and relaxed person sleeping. After 30 sec, everything changes.

Here's the thing, David, where else in the 17 minutes of this short film do you think needs the time as well? It's not a good precedent to set, because it feels like you are burning time to reach some arbitrary length. You are competing against literally thousands of content pieces, and there is simply not enough time to see all of it, especially if it's not respectful of the viewer's time.

[David Evans]

Definitly understand your point of view and I will review it to see if it makes sense to cut some of it. But from my personal and professional point of view, I have to say I felt the need to do that intro and show him in there, while the sun is coming up. As for your question, every shot on this film has the time that I felt it needed. I could be wrong but I certainly don't mean to disrespect the viewer.

[Gary Huff]

Originally Posted by David Evans

I have to say I felt the need to do that intro and show him in there, while the sun is coming up.

And yet it's very much a trope of short films to start off this way. I've seen too many, and learned my lesson early on that it's best to move on.

[David Evans]

That's ok. If you feel the curiosity to watch it, please let me know what you think.

thanks

[Noa Put]

I love watching short films, I have about 60 films in my collection of dvd's of which some are very difficult to find. One of my favorites is "7:35 de la manana" from Nacho Vigalondo or "cashback" from Sean Ellis.
But anyways, back to your film :) I enjoyed watching it but I can understand it's not a film for everyone. The voice over of his alter ego also worked well and was a pleasant voice to listen to, I always love to hear a film in it's native language, glad that I don't live in Germany or France where they replace the original voices from every foreign film with one spoken in their own language, absolutely horrible.
The sound was also great and the music was also a perfect fit. I think it's a piece you should be proud of, can I ask what role you did play in the making of this film?

[David Evans]

Thanks Noa! I accumulated a lot of functions: Director, writer, cinematography, editing, sound and colour grading.

[Brian Duke]

I'm starting to watch it. My first impression is you got a lot of influence from Requiem for a Dream. It must be a favorite of yours :) From the series of shots of the guy taking the pills to the doggy cam you used..

[David Evans]

Brian, that is completely true! I love that film and it was definitely a great influence, thanks :)