DVC 6 Feedback - Justin Jesselli - Tageslicht 8/17

[Justin Jesselli]

Ahoy!

So! In keeping with tradition, I've created this feedback thread for my short film. For quite some time, I had been meaning to try my hand at this. However I'm a superb procrastinator, and I never got around to picking up a camera and actually *filming* something. So when DVC #6 rolled around, I thought that it would be the perfect device to end my laziness and commit to making a movie. And it was!

Prior to this project, I had never filmed anything, never edited footage, never recorded foley or soundtrack, and certainly never directed. It shows, I know, I know! Still, I had an incredible time making it! I've learned a great deal from the experience -- both from my mistakes and the successes in the other DVC shorts.

Looking forward to your feedback! Most of you know much more about filming than I do, and I'd love to hear your advice.

As part of the wrap-up celebration, I put together this outtakes reel for everyone who helped with the film. There are a few inside jokes here, but I think that it should be amusing for anyone who has seen the short:

http://www.bonesrattle.com/outtakes.mov (167MB -- Right Click and Save)

EDIT: I'd recommend watching the HQ version. I had emailed Dylan with it, but I'm not sure he received the note. Same filme exactly -- higher resolution. You can find it at:

http://www.bonesrattle.com/tageslicht817HQ.mov (Right Click and Save)

Thanks!

[Michael Fossenkemper]

I'm watching the short and I'm thinking to myself "Umm was I the only one who had a week to put this together???? how come everyone else's looked like they had a month."
Great look, Great editing, Great Audio, Great camera angles.

Then I got lost. who was the guy with the sun book? why did the guy come back to life? what was the vile of? where did the girl go? How come he's so strong? hahahaha. This was an epic short without enough run time to tell the whole story.

I was really rivited to the screen. The shots and editing built the drama very nicely for me. Man, I'm scared of you for DVC7. You've got an excellent eye for angles and movement and timing.

[Eric Gan]

Man Justin. That was crazy good for a one-week contest. How could you possibly not have filmed anything before this one?

I have to admit, I don't quite get the guy with the Sun Book. I guess you leave it up to the audience to decide what was in the vial and what kind of powers it gives you? Sorry if this is totally off. I'm one of those guy who don't get it if it's not explained.

Superb job overall. For web compression, you might be able to save some bits if you crop off the letterbox.

[Robert Martens]

I'm amazed how many first timers there are in these contests that blow everyone away; how do you people do this stuff? The opening shot is laugh out loud hilarious, feet pit-patting along the ground, pursuer a few seconds behind. The effect with the chasee picking up the chaser by the neck was really smooth, I like that kind of thing very much.

I have the same questions as Michael, though, and I couldn't figure out the guy in the chair, either. A hippie version of The Architect?

Wish I could find more to say here, but you did an incredible job. I'm not sure I'm qualified to judge a film like this, even if I could think of some notes to give.

[Jay Silver]

I like the look of this one a lot. The setting and overall tone instantly give it a "spy" feel. Nice angles, good pacing... I also like how the story was told with barely any dialog. The only thing is that it could have been a little clearer; my feeling is that if you dropped the dude on the roof you'd strengthen the main story and have time to resolve it better.

Nice job!


-j

[Justin Jesselli]

Thanks for the kind words! I was afraid that the sunbather on the roof might leave some people rather bewildered. It started as a joke between my brother and I -- we pitched the idea to Zack (who played the role) and he rather liked it. We put it in there because I wanted to show that we weren't taking ourselves too seriously. I didn't want anyone to get the impression that we were trying to make some "cool" Matrix tribute. The reaction has been pretty hit-or-miss. Some people find it funny, other people tend to think that it's an ambiguous, unexplained story element. It really is just a joke :)

Why did the guy come back to life? what was the vile of? where did the girl go? How come he's so strong?

Would like to take a stab at this? I'm really curious to see what worked and what didn't. I'll admit that it's more ambiguous than I originally intended, but I think all the necessary clues are there.

Thanks again!

[Justin Tomchuk]

Justin, it looked like a movie. Excellent camera angles and shots. I didn't really understand exactly what went on, but then again, I am one to talk. LOL.

I don't know what the guy was saying about the cloud cover but it gave me some sort of feeling that the sun made the main character super human and when it was covered he was just normal. And maybe the vile was a sort of drug that made you strong. These are my thoughts no matter how far off, it leaves a lot to the imagination and makes people think.

The guy on the roof, haha, I laughed but afterwards I was expecting him to charge at the people with the guns or something. Maybe open up his cooler and take out a tommy gun and blast everyone haha.

The blood effectsd were well done, but the blood looked more purple than red. I'm guessing that was the lighting conditions that made it that way.

Well done.

Justin

[Michael Fossenkemper]

Originally Posted by Justin Jesselli

Thanks for the kind words! I was afraid that the sunbather on the roof might leave some people rather bewildered. It started as a joke between my brother and I -- we pitched the idea to Zack (who played the role) and he rather liked it. We put it in there because I wanted to show that we weren't taking ourselves too seriously. I didn't want anyone to get the impression that we were trying to make some "cool" Matrix tribute. The reaction has been pretty hit-or-miss. Some people find it funny, other people tend to think that it's an ambiguous, unexplained story element. It really is just a joke :)



Would like to take a stab at this? I'm really curious to see what worked and what didn't. I'll admit that it's more ambiguous than I originally intended, but I think all the necessary clues are there.

Thanks again!

mmmm, ok, here it goes.

I heard two shots, so maybe he shot the girl? But where did he get the gun?
the vile was red, at first I thought it was some kind of vampire super blood. Or maybe it was. gave the guy power in sunlight as opposed to darkness?

[Justin Jesselli]

Originally Posted by Justin Tomchuk

I don't know what the guy was saying about the cloud cover but it gave me some sort of feeling that the sun made the main character super human and when it was covered he was just normal. And maybe the vile was a sort of drug that made you strong.

Spot on :)

Originally Posted by Justin Tomchuk

The guy on the roof, haha, I laughed but afterwards I was expecting him to charge at the people with the guns or something. Maybe open up his cooler and take out a tommy gun and blast everyone haha.

We toyed around with ideas like this -- but I just ran out of time, unfortunately. I wasted a huge amount of time simply because I didn't know what I was doing. I wrote a very quick script, but had no storyboard or shotlist. Big mistake. All the shots had to be invented on the spot. It took much longer than I anticipated.

Originally Posted by Justin Tomchuk

The blood effectsd were well done, but the blood looked more purple than red. I'm guessing that was the lighting conditions that made it that way.

You're absolutely right. It was actually too pink, and when I CC'ed the footage to be more blue, it looked purple. A bit of darker pigment might help with this.

Originally Posted by Michael Fossenkemper

I heard two shots, so maybe he shot the girl? But where did he get the gun?

The way I intended this to work was that the sounds of footsteps and gunshots were the Runner standing up, getting shot at (possibly dodging the bullets, or possibly bein unaffected by them) and quickly doing away with the girl, and then running back to the leather jacket guy. Originally, there was going to be footage for this -- but, once again, I ran out of time. So we did it with sound effects and hoped for the best!

Thanks again for the comments!

[Sean McHenry]

It was indeed pretty slick and smooth. I am a big fan of not giving everyone all the details. I try to leave something unsettled for the viewers to fill in the blanks their own way. I had to do that with yours as well.

I think this has the feel of a series where in later chapters we get to find out what just happened. This is sort of the action opening scene where you catch everyones attention and then pull them into the actual story behind these actions.

I would like to see more.

I did something similar with Cat Fight at OK and Corral and now folks are asking to see the rest of the story. You should finish this one, unless you think it is as complete as you would like to make it. That is for you to decide.

You did very well.

Sean