DVC5 Feedback - Who Am I (Andrew Khalil's)

Bradley L Marlow · April 20th, 2006, 12:05 AM

Hi Andrew!

Finally got that link up. Glad it got posted.

I really liked your cinematography. You achieved a very nice look throughout your film. Brittany seems comfortable in front of the camera too and I thought her performance was quite natural and very good.

I guess what seemed to be missing for me, was more conflict. This young lady seems rather well adjusted. For one to be asking such a deep question "Who Am I?" the struggle wasn't happening.

Maybe intercutting a sad/distressed face with a visual representation of self actualization. A pencil writing the words so hard the lead breaks, the paper shreads then a fresh spring flower. An empty chair, then a strange eyeball looking in the rearview mirror. Just a thought. Something to show the internal conflict as well as the many sides of such deep thoughts.

An XL2! Shot my flick on an XL1s. I noticed you mentioned a -3dB gain too. Was using similar settings. Did you record the VO on the XL2?

Keep making movies Andrew

Best wishes~
Bradley

Chris Barcellos · April 20th, 2006, 12:12 AM

I was able to get better sound the second time, and got a better idea of the film. I wasn't able to put my finger on what I felt was missing, but B. Marlow got it right. Seemed to be missing a real issue for resolution and the reason for the film therefore comes into question. Your subject's attitude and life seemed pretty normal, and going fine... so what's the problem?

Michael Fossenkemper · April 20th, 2006, 07:44 AM

Well, I think you win for the least troubled soul:-)

Nice positive feeling short, but I kind of missed the story or point you were trying to make. was she reflecting on who she was to confirm that she was on the right path? Let me watch it again.

Andrew Khalil · April 20th, 2006, 08:57 AM

Bradley, I know what you mean - at first, I wanted to make it somewhat depressing and have more conflict in it, but then we both thought about it and we wanted to make our character appear as someone who was happy with who she was, even though who she is is a mystery, if that makes any sense lol.
I'll make sure I show her the comments you guys made on her acting - she'll be really happy because it was her first time acting in front of a camera, so that'll be good news to her.
I don't understand the last question (sorry) - what do you mean the "VO on the XL2."

thanks for all the feedback everyone - I'm really happy with how everyone on this board is so constuctive - it really helps me and I can't wait to apply what everyone is saying to my next video.

Bradley L Marlow · April 20th, 2006, 09:26 AM

Hi Andrew,

Yes, I'm sorry. I was wondering if you did the voice over (VO) with your XL2. Or, what recording device did you use for the voice over?

Best wishes~
Bradley

Andrew Khalil · April 20th, 2006, 09:40 AM

oh, for the voiceover I did record it on the XL2 using an AKG 535 (not 100% sure if that's what it was) condenser mic which has worked very well for many other scenarios involving voice as well - only thing is you have to be really close in order for it to pick up anything which is good to avoid background noise and stuff like that.

Bradley L Marlow · April 20th, 2006, 09:46 AM

Thanks Andrew,

Was wondering. I used the stock mic on the XL1s for my film and also for the voice over in Meryems film "Still Life". Of course for hers, I got up real close to the mic.

Do you find the AT535 condenser mic pretty clean or does it tend to pick up a lot of room noise?

Best Wishes~
Bradley

Meryem Ersoz · April 20th, 2006, 09:48 AM

bradley cut right to the heart of the matter...it's a profound question, but the exploration is a bit flat. i don't think i would need it to be depressing, exactly, but more profound, yes. i mean, there are entire schools of thinking devoted to pondering the illusory quality of this entire earth experience. which is maybe more esoteric than you would want to be. (i'm just suggesting that approach as a possible alternative to depressing....) but something besides simply asserting the protagonist's "am-ness" seems in order, otherwise what's the point? some sort of dramatic tension is missing.
also, i think the music bed you've selected gets a bit repetitive, which contributes to that effect of not enough dramatic tension.

but you've put together some nice looking cinematopgraphy and the acting is very good and natural, as everyone has already mentioned. i'm probably coming across as sounding more critical than i actually felt while watching it. you did a very nice job. i always appreciate someone tackling a subject with a bit of depth.

Andrew Khalil · April 20th, 2006, 11:05 AM

yeah, I think depth is something I'd agree it could use. In terms of music, I think audio in general is what I need to improve in - I usually work with people who are just devoted to audio, so I usually never have to worry about it but in this case, I guess that caught up with me. I don't mind critical - in fact, I don't think I get enough of it most of the time so I'm fully open to it.

In terms of the audio gear, I found the name of the mic and it's called the AKG C535. If that's the mic you're referring to, it's a very good vocal and instrument mic (not a shotgun) and it sounds very good and clean. It does eliminate room noise simply because you need to almost hold it up to whatever you want to record - it won't really record someone speaking from far away like a shotgun would. I've never used an AT535, so perhaps someone who has can comment on it.

April 20th, 2006, 12:12 AM	#17
Chris Barcellos Inner Circle Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Elk Grove CA Posts: 6,838	I was able to get better sound the second time, and got a better idea of the film. I wasn't able to put my finger on what I felt was missing, but B. Marlow got it right. Seemed to be missing a real issue for resolution and the reason for the film therefore comes into question. Your subject's attitude and life seemed pretty normal, and going fine... so what's the problem? __________________ Chris J. Barcellos

April 20th, 2006, 12:05 AM	#16
Bradley L Marlow Major Player Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Central Wyoming Posts: 484	Hi Andrew! Finally got that link up. Glad it got posted. I really liked your cinematography. You achieved a very nice look throughout your film. Brittany seems comfortable in front of the camera too and I thought her performance was quite natural and very good. I guess what seemed to be missing for me, was more conflict. This young lady seems rather well adjusted. For one to be asking such a deep question "Who Am I?" the struggle wasn't happening. Maybe intercutting a sad/distressed face with a visual representation of self actualization. A pencil writing the words so hard the lead breaks, the paper shreads then a fresh spring flower. An empty chair, then a strange eyeball looking in the rearview mirror. Just a thought. Something to show the internal conflict as well as the many sides of such deep thoughts. An XL2! Shot my flick on an XL1s. I noticed you mentioned a -3dB gain too. Was using similar settings. Did you record the VO on the XL2? Keep making movies Andrew Best wishes~ Bradley

April 20th, 2006, 07:44 AM	#18
Michael Fossenkemper Major Player Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: NYC, weeee. Posts: 417	Well, I think you win for the least troubled soul:-) Nice positive feeling short, but I kind of missed the story or point you were trying to make. was she reflecting on who she was to confirm that she was on the right path? Let me watch it again.

April 20th, 2006, 08:57 AM	#19
Andrew Khalil Major Player Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 424	Bradley, I know what you mean - at first, I wanted to make it somewhat depressing and have more conflict in it, but then we both thought about it and we wanted to make our character appear as someone who was happy with who she was, even though who she is is a mystery, if that makes any sense lol. I'll make sure I show her the comments you guys made on her acting - she'll be really happy because it was her first time acting in front of a camera, so that'll be good news to her. I don't understand the last question (sorry) - what do you mean the "VO on the XL2." thanks for all the feedback everyone - I'm really happy with how everyone on this board is so constuctive - it really helps me and I can't wait to apply what everyone is saying to my next video.

April 20th, 2006, 09:26 AM	#20
Bradley L Marlow Major Player Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Central Wyoming Posts: 484	Hi Andrew, Yes, I'm sorry. I was wondering if you did the voice over (VO) with your XL2. Or, what recording device did you use for the voice over? Best wishes~ Bradley

April 20th, 2006, 09:40 AM	#21
Andrew Khalil Major Player Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 424	oh, for the voiceover I did record it on the XL2 using an AKG 535 (not 100% sure if that's what it was) condenser mic which has worked very well for many other scenarios involving voice as well - only thing is you have to be really close in order for it to pick up anything which is good to avoid background noise and stuff like that.

April 20th, 2006, 09:46 AM	#22
Bradley L Marlow Major Player Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Central Wyoming Posts: 484	Thanks Andrew, Was wondering. I used the stock mic on the XL1s for my film and also for the voice over in Meryems film "Still Life". Of course for hers, I got up real close to the mic. Do you find the AT535 condenser mic pretty clean or does it tend to pick up a lot of room noise? Best Wishes~ Bradley

April 20th, 2006, 09:48 AM	#23
Meryem Ersoz Wrangler Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Boulder, CO Posts: 3,015	bradley cut right to the heart of the matter...it's a profound question, but the exploration is a bit flat. i don't think i would need it to be depressing, exactly, but more profound, yes. i mean, there are entire schools of thinking devoted to pondering the illusory quality of this entire earth experience. which is maybe more esoteric than you would want to be. (i'm just suggesting that approach as a possible alternative to depressing....) but something besides simply asserting the protagonist's "am-ness" seems in order, otherwise what's the point? some sort of dramatic tension is missing. also, i think the music bed you've selected gets a bit repetitive, which contributes to that effect of not enough dramatic tension. but you've put together some nice looking cinematopgraphy and the acting is very good and natural, as everyone has already mentioned. i'm probably coming across as sounding more critical than i actually felt while watching it. you did a very nice job. i always appreciate someone tackling a subject with a bit of depth.

April 20th, 2006, 11:05 AM	#24
Andrew Khalil Major Player Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 424	yeah, I think depth is something I'd agree it could use. In terms of music, I think audio in general is what I need to improve in - I usually work with people who are just devoted to audio, so I usually never have to worry about it but in this case, I guess that caught up with me. I don't mind critical - in fact, I don't think I get enough of it most of the time so I'm fully open to it. In terms of the audio gear, I found the name of the mic and it's called the AKG C535. If that's the mic you're referring to, it's a very good vocal and instrument mic (not a shotgun) and it sounds very good and clean. It does eliminate room noise simply because you need to almost hold it up to whatever you want to record - it won't really record someone speaking from far away like a shotgun would. I've never used an AT535, so perhaps someone who has can comment on it.