dvc5 feedback - take me back

Robert Kirkpatrick · April 15th, 2006, 01:44 PM

That was indeed nice work. The opening sequence was a little awkward (the actors seemed uncomfortable), but you had to cram a lot into 5 minutes. I was confused at the ending: wasn't sure if it was wishful thinking or whether it really happened or not. I thought you were trying to leave it ambiguous.

As others have said, good use of the frame to hightlight the reflections theme.

Dick Mays · April 17th, 2006, 01:32 AM

Philip,

Really nice short. I love your shot composition. The insert of the power saw, the shots of the town, particularly the shot of the stairs. Did anyone less think the "Meth Awareness Program" was funny? Probably not, my wife claims I'm a little twisted. You realy have a good eye for pictures. I loved the hand lighting the candle.

We both took the same theme, "reflections on a relationship," for our shorts. I did a slice of a moment of time, and you chose to cover five years with FX in the picture frame of what could have been.

After watching your short, my short seems a little simplistic. I could have brought in a lot more aspects of the relationship. On the other hand, you are covering so much territory that the treatment of the relationship seems a little thin with coverage limited to five minutes.

We learn so much from each other by making these projects. I'm definitely putting more insert shots into my next short. Well done.

Dick Mays · April 17th, 2006, 01:39 AM

Philip,

Really nice short. I love your shot composition. The insert of the power saw, the shots of the town, particularly the shot of the stairs. Did anyone less think the "Meth Awareness Program" was funny? Probably not, my wife claims I'm a little twisted. You realy have a good eye for pictures. I loved the hand lighting the candle.

We both took the same theme, "reflections on a relationship," for our shorts. I did a slice of a moment of time, and you chose to cover five years with FX in the picture frame of what could have been.

After watching your short, my short seems a little simplistic. I could have brought in a lot more aspects of the relationship. On the other hand, you are covering so much territory that the treatment of the relationship seems a little thin with coverage limited to five minutes.

We learn so much from each other by making these projects. I'm definitely putting more insert shots into my next short. Well done.

Philip Gioja · April 17th, 2006, 09:40 PM

Thanks for the kind words -- the Meth Awareness shot was not there by accident, nor were the shots of the graveyard as she walks into town. At the least I wanted to comment on where she was coming from -- that she was depressed and confused, lost in a lot of ways. Plus that sign comments on the town too, and it was just too classic to pass up. (I didn't fake it -- that was a real sign posted in my town).

I came away from watching your film with a lot of the same thoughts that you have, only backwards -- watching your film made mine feel a little rushed and like you said, maybe a little thin. I really enjoyed the acting in your film and thought you did a great job keeping the story simple and touching.

It was cool to see yours because our ideas were so similar compared to the other films, and yet also very different. I've really learned a lot too -- next time I'll try for less mechanics and spend more time on the dialogue and acting.

Hugh DiMauro · April 18th, 2006, 07:06 AM

Phil:

Telling her to get lost in the end is what everybody expected. Good for you for throwing a curve ball. Keep 'em off balance, bro. Nice job!

Philip Gioja · April 18th, 2006, 09:59 PM

I posted the outtakes and my initial mirror effect test on my dvc5 page -- http://www.centerstreetproductions.com/dvc5 , just in case anyone is interested.

Michael Fossenkemper · April 18th, 2006, 10:22 PM

I thought it was a nice univeral story. I was a bit confused at some of the cuts in time but the overall story came through which I know is hard to do. there was a huge timeline to get across. I liked the mirror affect and thought that told a me a lot but it was hard to connect it with the story. I didn't get the connection of the routing wood with the story until you explained it. i'm not sure how else you could convey the "getting on with your life" though. all in all it was a nice story with some unexpected curve balls that were good.

April 18th, 2006, 07:06 AM	#20
Hugh DiMauro Trustee Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Central Florida Posts: 1,207	Phil: Telling her to get lost in the end is what everybody expected. Good for you for throwing a curve ball. Keep 'em off balance, bro. Nice job! __________________ Interesting, if true. And interesting anyway.

April 15th, 2006, 01:44 PM	#16
Robert Kirkpatrick Regular Crew Join Date: May 2004 Location: Little Rock, AR Posts: 199	That was indeed nice work. The opening sequence was a little awkward (the actors seemed uncomfortable), but you had to cram a lot into 5 minutes. I was confused at the ending: wasn't sure if it was wishful thinking or whether it really happened or not. I thought you were trying to leave it ambiguous. As others have said, good use of the frame to hightlight the reflections theme.

April 17th, 2006, 01:32 AM	#17
Dick Mays Major Player Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 690	Philip, Really nice short. I love your shot composition. The insert of the power saw, the shots of the town, particularly the shot of the stairs. Did anyone less think the "Meth Awareness Program" was funny? Probably not, my wife claims I'm a little twisted. You realy have a good eye for pictures. I loved the hand lighting the candle. We both took the same theme, "reflections on a relationship," for our shorts. I did a slice of a moment of time, and you chose to cover five years with FX in the picture frame of what could have been. After watching your short, my short seems a little simplistic. I could have brought in a lot more aspects of the relationship. On the other hand, you are covering so much territory that the treatment of the relationship seems a little thin with coverage limited to five minutes. We learn so much from each other by making these projects. I'm definitely putting more insert shots into my next short. Well done.

April 17th, 2006, 01:39 AM	#18
Dick Mays Major Player Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 690	Philip, Really nice short. I love your shot composition. The insert of the power saw, the shots of the town, particularly the shot of the stairs. Did anyone less think the "Meth Awareness Program" was funny? Probably not, my wife claims I'm a little twisted. You realy have a good eye for pictures. I loved the hand lighting the candle. We both took the same theme, "reflections on a relationship," for our shorts. I did a slice of a moment of time, and you chose to cover five years with FX in the picture frame of what could have been. After watching your short, my short seems a little simplistic. I could have brought in a lot more aspects of the relationship. On the other hand, you are covering so much territory that the treatment of the relationship seems a little thin with coverage limited to five minutes. We learn so much from each other by making these projects. I'm definitely putting more insert shots into my next short. Well done.

April 17th, 2006, 09:40 PM	#19
Philip Gioja Major Player Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Piper City, IL Posts: 350	Thanks for the kind words -- the Meth Awareness shot was not there by accident, nor were the shots of the graveyard as she walks into town. At the least I wanted to comment on where she was coming from -- that she was depressed and confused, lost in a lot of ways. Plus that sign comments on the town too, and it was just too classic to pass up. (I didn't fake it -- that was a real sign posted in my town). I came away from watching your film with a lot of the same thoughts that you have, only backwards -- watching your film made mine feel a little rushed and like you said, maybe a little thin. I really enjoyed the acting in your film and thought you did a great job keeping the story simple and touching. It was cool to see yours because our ideas were so similar compared to the other films, and yet also very different. I've really learned a lot too -- next time I'll try for less mechanics and spend more time on the dialogue and acting.

April 18th, 2006, 09:59 PM	#21
Philip Gioja Major Player Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Piper City, IL Posts: 350	I posted the outtakes and my initial mirror effect test on my dvc5 page -- http://www.centerstreetproductions.com/dvc5 , just in case anyone is interested.

April 18th, 2006, 10:22 PM	#22
Michael Fossenkemper Major Player Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: NYC, weeee. Posts: 417	I thought it was a nice univeral story. I was a bit confused at some of the cuts in time but the overall story came through which I know is hard to do. there was a huge timeline to get across. I liked the mirror affect and thought that told a me a lot but it was hard to connect it with the story. I didn't get the connection of the routing wood with the story until you explained it. i'm not sure how else you could convey the "getting on with your life" though. all in all it was a nice story with some unexpected curve balls that were good.