DVC 19 - The Masked Assassin - Lorinda Norton

Mitchell Stookey · October 28th, 2010, 08:03 PM

Hey Lorinda another charming and fun short! I really liked your main actor, I thought his delivery was excellent and lines like his (being a tough, gritty assassin) are so hard to pull off. Really great work.

I noticed when the assassin is first speaking to the art dealer / mask maker that we see his face but it does not match with his line (or so I think, I could be wrong). If you had held off on cutting to him until the line was done, the look was still right and the moment was there, it just overlapped a little. If I am wrong, then I guess something seems a little strange about that cut and his lips.

My main suggestion would be I think that with a little bit of tightening up in editing that this film would really sing. Not too much, just to keep things really moving along. For example, when the masked assassin first enters the art gallery, we get to see the whole start of the conversation with the patron. If we had maybe heard a bit of the conversation as he is coming in, or maybe even beginning underneath the shot of him running through the park, it will just smoothly move things a long quicker and liven it up. Same with the two of them walking to the counter, the sound could lead us into the next shot (them already beginning to look at the mask) instead of us having to see all the events unfold. Little trims in those places in my mind could really add a lot more pep to the scenes. Just my two cents!

I really enjoyed watching this film and love the character you bring to all your work.

Lorinda Norton · October 28th, 2010, 08:53 PM

You called me on my little fudge, Mitchell. :) We were rushed on the day of the gallery shoot so I got Morgan back the next day for closeups and asked him to say a couple lines based on my memory of timing. We didn't hit it that well so the cut was supposed to be timed with what was supposedly in sync with the audio. It didn't work, but I was running out of time so forgot about it. I laughed out loud when I read your comment.

Thank you so much for the editing suggestions! I'm going to tweak it and give a DVD to Morgan to show at his place of work (he's a bartender at Buffalo Wild Wings). I'll follow your ideas and also fix the cutaway (still chuckling about that) so it'll be that much better for him.

October 28th, 2010, 08:53 PM	#17
Lorinda Norton Wrangler Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Southwest Idaho, USA Posts: 3,066	You called me on my little fudge, Mitchell. :) We were rushed on the day of the gallery shoot so I got Morgan back the next day for closeups and asked him to say a couple lines based on my memory of timing. We didn't hit it that well so the cut was supposed to be timed with what was supposedly in sync with the audio. It didn't work, but I was running out of time so forgot about it. I laughed out loud when I read your comment. Thank you so much for the editing suggestions! I'm going to tweak it and give a DVD to Morgan to show at his place of work (he's a bartender at Buffalo Wild Wings). I'll follow your ideas and also fix the cutaway (still chuckling about that) so it'll be that much better for him. __________________ Lorinda

October 28th, 2010, 08:03 PM	#16
Mitchell Stookey Regular Crew Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 196	Hey Lorinda another charming and fun short! I really liked your main actor, I thought his delivery was excellent and lines like his (being a tough, gritty assassin) are so hard to pull off. Really great work. I noticed when the assassin is first speaking to the art dealer / mask maker that we see his face but it does not match with his line (or so I think, I could be wrong). If you had held off on cutting to him until the line was done, the look was still right and the moment was there, it just overlapped a little. If I am wrong, then I guess something seems a little strange about that cut and his lips. My main suggestion would be I think that with a little bit of tightening up in editing that this film would really sing. Not too much, just to keep things really moving along. For example, when the masked assassin first enters the art gallery, we get to see the whole start of the conversation with the patron. If we had maybe heard a bit of the conversation as he is coming in, or maybe even beginning underneath the shot of him running through the park, it will just smoothly move things a long quicker and liven it up. Same with the two of them walking to the counter, the sound could lead us into the next shot (them already beginning to look at the mask) instead of us having to see all the events unfold. Little trims in those places in my mind could really add a lot more pep to the scenes. Just my two cents! I really enjoyed watching this film and love the character you bring to all your work.