DVC 9 - "Meet Me" - Mitchell Stookey

[Mitchell Stookey]

Alright here's my feedback thread. I'm finally off the WOS! I was lying there for 4 challenges. Sorry I haven't posted any kind of feedback for the rest of you, I'm in summer school, I've been writing finals, I got a new job and I'm moving to a new place. It is a little hectic, but rest assured, I write my last final in 2 hours and then I'll be free!

As for this feedback thread, all criticism is welcome. The story I had was a great deal larger than this final version, and I'm worried it has lost its clarity. Three minutes was really tough on this one. If any of you were lost/confused, please let me know. Or any other ways to improve, things that it was missing, etc.

A funny story regarding the making of this short: I am fairly new to the city of Vancouver (only being here a year), and so I only really know my friends. I don't know any families or small children, but knew I needed a young boy to be in the first half. We decided we were just going to have to go to the beach and ask some random family if we could film their kid. Talk about strange. So we finally got to the beach, and right away I saw a dad playing catch with his son. His wife and other son were just sitting there watching. So thinking that this was crazy and I was going to come off as some super creeper asking to film children at the beach, I approached and talked to them. They were super nice and the son was excited to be in it! They just said sure, we went to work filming and they left us alone. Joe was so great! He was so natural and listened to every bit of direction I gave him. I couldn't believe how well it worked out! It turns out they were visiting from London, England and it was their first day in Vancouver! So a HUGE thanks to the Packwood family from London!! I literally couldn't have made it without them.

[Jesse Steele]

Mitchell I loved the charm of this piece! The production value was high and the idea was simple yet clever. I love endings that are left open.

Great job!
Jesse

[Dick Mays]

Originally Posted by Jesse Steele

Mitchell I loved the charm of this piece! The production value was high and the idea was simple yet clever. I endings that are left open.

Great job!
Jesse

Me too. I thought I knew where this one was going, but you didn't take me there. I loved the shot at sunset where he throws the bottle back. I bet he'll be there on that bridge 15 years later. Very touching piece. Great music.

[Randall Allen]

This was great. I loved the story. You did a great job "aging" the 1992 footage.

Randy

[Marco Wagner]

Yeah I'm with Dick, it leaned toward him not getting to meet -BUTT that doesn't mean it wasn't a quality produced short. I'm sure your non comp version to be is going to look as great as this did!

I know how tough it can be to compact everything into 3 minutes. I had about 6 minutes of idea and only x amount of time to film because of daily thunderstorms. You work with what you have and you did good!

[Kris Holodak]

Like the old home movie treatment to the 1992 sequences. Lingering just a few seconds longer on the note would have helped, I actually went back and paused it so I could read it all. Very nice angles and composition.

The editing was good, but probably could have been a little tighter. I bet you could have cut an actual 3 minute version. And since I've cheated and read your thread already I know you're thinking "but it killed me to get it to 3:14". The thing is, the story was really clear. When you have such beautifully exposed and composed shots it's heartbreaking to lose any of them, but you could have trimmed a few seconds here and there out of the beach and another few here and there out of the bridge and the story would still have held up.

Smile,
Kris

[Darryl Ahye]

I loved this movie the most. Good work with the cinematography and storytelling, I like the open ending. The production value was very high. Keep up the great work.

[Lorinda Norton]

Wow. Mitchell, this was one heck of a movie. I hate to use the word (sounds so old), but this is the most mature work I’ve seen from you. From concept to technical aspects—very, very nice. This comes from someone, mind you, who still laughs at your “secrets” movie—a short that contained some of the funniest lines and gags of all time in my book. :)

As others have noted, I loved the way you treated the 1992 footage; it looked great and the boy you happened upon did a wonderful job. About the story, as one who doesn't like to see people disappointed I was kind of hoping the author of the message would show up, but your ending was perfect…much more interesting.

Great job, Mitchell. It’s so good to have you back, too! I'll be looking for your movie in DVC10.

[Bruce Broussard]

I also like this film alot. I think your production is top notch. The story was great. I think for the time you had you did it perfectly. Nothing but compliments from me.

[Mitchell Stookey]

Thanks everyone for the feedback and compliments! I appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Dick Mays

I bet he'll be there on that bridge 15 years later.

We all made a pact that we'd come back on August 10th, 2022 and meet there again. I'm bringing my camera so if somebody does find that note and makes the trek we'll make a short with them hopefully!

Originally Posted by Kris Holodak

The editing was good, but probably could have been a little tighter. I bet you could have cut an actual 3 minute version. And since I've cheated and read your thread already I know you're thinking "but it killed me to get it to 3:14". The thing is, the story was really clear. When you have such beautifully exposed and composed shots it's heartbreaking to lose any of them, but you could have trimmed a few seconds here and there out of the beach and another few here and there out of the bridge and the story would still have held up.

Thanks for this advice. You're probably right, but in my mind I saw a nice, slow development of the kid on the beach and the older version waiting on the bridge. To cut it where I did felt like a total rushing. It's hard to separate yourself from your work and perhaps turn it into what it needs to be. Thanks for that feedback.

@ Lorinda - Thanks for the super kind words! The goofy videos were usually a product of me and all my friends, but now that I live in Vancouver this one was kind of up to me, and I guess I'm not that interested in writing/making comedy by myself. I am extremely flattered to have you make those comments!

It was a great challenge with so many great entries, I'm really glad to be back.

[Jonathan Jones]

Mitchell,
I freakin' loved this movie. You put together such an amazing piece without a single word of dialogue, and yet I felt I really was kinda inside the head of the present-day character.

Great stuff.

I have to agree with Kris above that maybe a few seconds could have been cut from the beach sequence shots, but on that note, I also have to add that I loved the look you gave it for the feel of an older medium.

There is a shot at the 1:14 point that I thought was one of the most awesome single images in this challenge, the camera looking up at the boy as he is holding the note and off in the distance to the right of the screen. What a great shot. But then, your movie was really full of excellent cinematography.

Your work is very polished, and I loved this movie.

Great job.

-Jon

[Benjamin Durin]

I agree with every word of Jonathan in the previous post ;)