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#1 |
Major Player
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Loveland, Colorado, USA
Posts: 292
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Death Takes a Picture- Feedback
ugh.
Not as good of a job as I would have liked.
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" When some wild-eyed, eight foot tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head against a bar room wall, and looks you crooked in the eye, and he asks you if you've payed your dues, well, you just stare that big suker right back in the eye, and you remember what old Jack Burton always says at a time like that, 'Have you paid your dues, Jack? Yes sir, the check is in the mail." |
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#2 |
Regular Crew
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Lisbon, Portugal
Posts: 92
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Michael,
I dunno if it such a bad thing. The whole nonsense got me laughting without thinking. And where on earth did you get such a good Death costume? :)) The timmings, accidental or on purpose, only added to the nonsense feeling. If your aim was for dramatic (which I doubt), then you may have a point. If your aim was for comic, well, at least you got me. All the best, Hugo |
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#3 |
Major Player
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Loveland, Colorado, USA
Posts: 292
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Scott Barker made and wore the Death costume. He also made the boom pole we used on this one, and the mummy costume we used for dvc2. He's like Mcgyver.
I'm glad it made you laugh, Hugo; it is difficult to tell if the jokes are funny after watching them 100 times during the edit.
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" When some wild-eyed, eight foot tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head against a bar room wall, and looks you crooked in the eye, and he asks you if you've payed your dues, well, you just stare that big suker right back in the eye, and you remember what old Jack Burton always says at a time like that, 'Have you paid your dues, Jack? Yes sir, the check is in the mail." |
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#4 |
Trustee
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Hilliard, Ohio
Posts: 1,193
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I liked it too. The things I see that could be improved, but you are doing well, are timing, and I would put a fade on the dialog, both in and out for Mr. Death. You get a sort of choppy cut into the difference in the dialog right now.
My biggest question in this one is: What sort of junk mail do you get being on Deaths mailing list? Good concept. Keep going. They are looking better and better. Sean McHenry
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‘I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’m shooting on D.V.’ - my hero - David Lynch http://www.DeepBlueEdit.com |
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#5 | |
Major Player
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Loveland, Colorado, USA
Posts: 292
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Quote:
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" When some wild-eyed, eight foot tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head against a bar room wall, and looks you crooked in the eye, and he asks you if you've payed your dues, well, you just stare that big suker right back in the eye, and you remember what old Jack Burton always says at a time like that, 'Have you paid your dues, Jack? Yes sir, the check is in the mail." |
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#6 |
Regular Crew
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 44
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Don't give up Michael. You did a good job. I thought the whole concept was funny. That "Pick-up my tripod" line was great. You can only get better by making more. Hope to see you in DVC4.
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#7 |
Major Player
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Central Wyoming
Posts: 484
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Hey Michael!
Wonderful! I thought you showed some excellent creativity in your film. Everybody likes a laugh and you certainly had me laughing. To have death out taking pictures because his reaping job doesn't pay the bills is great! I liked this "matter of fact" conversation you had going. I don't know why, but for some reason people puking up "white stuff" always gags me more that a typical "technicolor yawn". Perhaps I need a few sessions on the couch. |
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#8 |
Regular Crew
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 196
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Funny stuff. Death was gold. I can see where you're coming from saying "ugh" because I know that my film too, didn't come out the way we wanted. However, yours is STILL funny. And not funny like I smiled while watching funny as in I was laughing. That's hard to do. Think about that for a second, your friends and your work made me laugh and have five minutes of fun! Thanks! I often go to theaters and don't get five minutes of enjoyment these days.
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#9 |
Wrangler
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Southwest Idaho, USA
Posts: 3,066
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I'm with Mitchell. Don't know how many times I laughed out loud, but it was a lot! One gag after another. That Grim Reaper could do stand-up!
When he walked past the flowers and they died? Hilarious. And hanging his scythe on the coat rack.... The ending was the toughest part, as I didn't want to see the other guy go to...um...hell. And it reminded me a little of an SNL sketch where the middle is way more engaging than the finish. But endings are hard!!! My friend from DVCs 1, 2 and 3 emailed me about this one. He said, "The guy in the black looks familiar." (He played Death in the DVC2 movie.) :) Good job! Can't wait for the next one.
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Lorinda |
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#10 |
Major Player
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Loveland, Colorado, USA
Posts: 292
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Well, thank you, everyone.
As mentioned above, Death was played by Scott Barker he also played Crane and the mummy in "The Cask of Malta" our next peice will proabably feature a more serious version of Crane- we've been talking about him for a couple of years. Scott is a great artist, fabricator and actor. I'm very lucky to have him invovled.
__________________
" When some wild-eyed, eight foot tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head against a bar room wall, and looks you crooked in the eye, and he asks you if you've payed your dues, well, you just stare that big suker right back in the eye, and you remember what old Jack Burton always says at a time like that, 'Have you paid your dues, Jack? Yes sir, the check is in the mail." |
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#11 |
Major Player
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 690
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Get my tripod was a good line, but my favorite was "I gave you free wallet size". Very funny. My wife laughed all the way through it!
Dick |
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#12 |
Trustee
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Healdsburg, California
Posts: 1,138
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Michael,
This one was FULL of great lines....'uh, I got company coming over so could you uh....." "call an ambulance...are you high?" (given the situation - this was hilarious) And, of course all the lines and visuals that were already mentioned in this thread. This was a classic short. I loved it! -Jon
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"Are we to go on record, sir, with our assertion that the 'pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers' are, in point of fact', magically delicious?" - Walter Hollarhan before the House Subcommittee on Integrity in Advertising - May, 1974 |
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