DVC3 "Erasure" - Feedback

Jonathan Jones · September 21st, 2005, 03:27 PM

Phillip,
I am really impressed with all the entries thus far, but I have to say that this one stands out for me. I watched it over and over again. I would never have guessed that the dialoge thing was an accident. The music was so perfect and the fact that you still had surf sounds gently layered beneath it suggested to me a very balanced and artistic presentation of the audio. loved it. I guess you were hoping for a crystal clear day, but the overcast sky lent itself well to the idea that something unhappy was about to happen. The facial expressions on your actors were perfect in every frame.

What really got me was when she disappeared. The two birds that few across the backdrop when she vanished didn't skip a beat through the fazing - I thought it was expertly smooth and I watched it many times. I won't beat a dead horse by rehashing was has already been noted about the key-framing on the viewfinder - that's minor to me in this context and doesn't pull from the overall presentation of your drama.

I loved your work. Great job.
-Jon

Cory Cone · September 21st, 2005, 11:14 PM

I like the story of how the sound guy forgot to turn the mic on! Regardless I like how it turned out with the music. I really like the music that plays when the title "Erasure" shows up, very serious type music.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sean McHenry

Predictable perhaps but executed well.

I don't see how it could be considered predictable at all, you really don't know what's going to happen until the girl gets zapped into the camera. It was executed well indeed!

Good job Phillip!

Phillip Jackson · September 21st, 2005, 11:37 PM

Jonathan - I was lucky to have those birds there, they were'nt planned, but helped make the shot look better.

I was just watching it again and on that last shot man it looks bad now, its like totally wobbling around haha i must have been half asleep when i did it cause i don't rememeber it looking that bad :)

Sean McHenry · September 21st, 2005, 11:41 PM

Well, perhaps predictable to me as it was the same premise I was running on. Someone was going into the camera one way or another. At least mabe that's what I was expecting. Too many Outer Limits and Twilight Zone's not to get zapped into the camera. God the Outer Limits scared me when I was young.

Outer Limits was beleivable. They had that great narrator. Not that Rod was bad at it. Just that he had a twist and the Outer Limits was just plain out there scary.

Good show and still, well executed to me.

Sean

Cory Cone · September 21st, 2005, 11:46 PM

Sorry, off topic: How old is Outer Limits? I always thought it was new since I used to watch it like 6 years ago and I think they were new episodes. I know Twilight Zone is old. Yeah they were both kind of creepy, I liked them.

Sean McHenry · September 21st, 2005, 11:57 PM

Oh young one... Outer Limits were originally in B&W and came upon us I would say late 60s or so. Try to find the original ones. The newer ones are good but the older ones were a bit more sharp and concise I think. The one called "Great Sand Kings" in the new series was pretty good.

Sean McHenry (Yes, I'm that old)

Dylan Couper · September 22nd, 2005, 01:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cory Cone

Sorry, off topic: How old is Outer Limits? I always thought it was new since I used to watch it like 6 years ago and I think they were new episodes.

As Sean said, the one you watched was a remake of the original. I worked on it for a bit (the new one, not the old one), it was shot here in Vancouver. I never really watched it though.

Jeff Sayre · September 22nd, 2005, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phillip Jackson

i did have another shot where the camera does get droped to the ground but i decided it wasn't nessary to see that.

Phillip:

I've just had the opportunity to begin watching the shorts from the past three days. I watched one or two, but not yours.

I appreciated the simplicity of your short it had the right pace for the story it told. Although I have not seen any yet, I know that some other contestants' entries have the soul-stealing theme. What I liked about your version of that theme is that the picture taker was so distraught that his friend/girlfriend/wife was sucked into the camera that he turned the camera on himself and joined her. A poignant moment for me.

You mentioned that you did have a shot where the camera hits the ground but decided not to use it. I was wondering at the end what would have happen if a passer by looked down and found the camera?

Cory Cone · September 23rd, 2005, 02:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dylan Couper

As Sean said, the one you watched was a remake of the original. I worked on it for a bit (the new one, not the old one), it was shot here in Vancouver. I never really watched it though.

Cool beans, I like the new one, I think I will try and see some old ones!

Phillip Jackson · September 24th, 2005, 01:32 AM

Jeff - Well what would happen if a passer by came across the camera..... hmmm i really don't know didn't think that far, but we did think about having a dog come along and run off with camera, but that idea seemed silly and was scraped.

September 21st, 2005, 03:27 PM	#16
Jonathan Jones Trustee Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Healdsburg, California Posts: 1,138	Wow! Phillip, I am really impressed with all the entries thus far, but I have to say that this one stands out for me. I watched it over and over again. I would never have guessed that the dialoge thing was an accident. The music was so perfect and the fact that you still had surf sounds gently layered beneath it suggested to me a very balanced and artistic presentation of the audio. loved it. I guess you were hoping for a crystal clear day, but the overcast sky lent itself well to the idea that something unhappy was about to happen. The facial expressions on your actors were perfect in every frame. What really got me was when she disappeared. The two birds that few across the backdrop when she vanished didn't skip a beat through the fazing - I thought it was expertly smooth and I watched it many times. I won't beat a dead horse by rehashing was has already been noted about the key-framing on the viewfinder - that's minor to me in this context and doesn't pull from the overall presentation of your drama. I loved your work. Great job. -Jon __________________ "Are we to go on record, sir, with our assertion that the 'pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers' are, in point of fact', magically delicious?" - Walter Hollarhan before the House Subcommittee on Integrity in Advertising - May, 1974

September 21st, 2005, 11:41 PM	#19
Sean McHenry Trustee Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Hilliard, Ohio Posts: 1,193	Well, perhaps predictable to me as it was the same premise I was running on. Someone was going into the camera one way or another. At least mabe that's what I was expecting. Too many Outer Limits and Twilight Zone's not to get zapped into the camera. God the Outer Limits scared me when I was young. Outer Limits was beleivable. They had that great narrator. Not that Rod was bad at it. Just that he had a twist and the Outer Limits was just plain out there scary. Good show and still, well executed to me. Sean __________________ ‘I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’m shooting on D.V.’ - my hero - David Lynch http://www.DeepBlueEdit.com

September 21st, 2005, 11:57 PM	#21
Sean McHenry Trustee Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Hilliard, Ohio Posts: 1,193	Oh young one... Outer Limits were originally in B&W and came upon us I would say late 60s or so. Try to find the original ones. The newer ones are good but the older ones were a bit more sharp and concise I think. The one called "Great Sand Kings" in the new series was pretty good. Sean McHenry (Yes, I'm that old) __________________ ‘I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’m shooting on D.V.’ - my hero - David Lynch http://www.DeepBlueEdit.com

September 21st, 2005, 11:37 PM	#18
Phillip Jackson Regular Crew Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Auckland, New Zealand Posts: 56	Jonathan - I was lucky to have those birds there, they were'nt planned, but helped make the shot look better. I was just watching it again and on that last shot man it looks bad now, its like totally wobbling around haha i must have been half asleep when i did it cause i don't rememeber it looking that bad :)

September 21st, 2005, 11:46 PM	#20
Cory Cone Regular Crew Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 41	Sorry, off topic: How old is Outer Limits? I always thought it was new since I used to watch it like 6 years ago and I think they were new episodes. I know Twilight Zone is old. Yeah they were both kind of creepy, I liked them.

September 24th, 2005, 01:32 AM	#25
Phillip Jackson Regular Crew Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Auckland, New Zealand Posts: 56	Jeff - Well what would happen if a passer by came across the camera..... hmmm i really don't know didn't think that far, but we did think about having a dog come along and run off with camera, but that idea seemed silly and was scraped.