Please tell me what you think at DVinfo.net

Ray Dunakin · September 17th, 2020, 06:44 PM

I'd like some feedback on my newest video before I make it public. I'm particularly concerned about the opening lines of the narration -- I'm not quite sure it works. Any other comments or suggestions would also be appreciated.

Rainer Listing · September 17th, 2020, 07:12 PM

Nice footage - I'm thinking the night footage and commentary ( at ~12-20 secs) would be better at the end, make a nice conclusion.

Allan Black · September 17th, 2020, 07:23 PM

Great program Ray. A couple of comments, I think the opening narration is to fast. I don’t think you have to re-record it, but try putting ‘breath gaps’ in all the opening sentences, to suit the pace of the visuals.

Keep doing this until the viewers ‘ear’ settles down to your voice style, but if this is working, maybe all the way through.

Cheers.

Ray Dunakin · September 17th, 2020, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rainer Listing

Nice footage - I'm thinking the night footage and commentary ( at ~12-20 secs) would be better at the end, make a nice conclusion.

Thanks for taking the time to watch and comment. A couple of my recent videos just previous to this on had the night shots at the end, so I wanted to make this a little different and put it up front.

Ray Dunakin · September 17th, 2020, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Allan Black

Great program Ray. A couple of comments, I think the opening narration is to fast. I don’t think you have to re-record it, but try putting ‘breath gaps’ in all the opening sentences, to suit the pace of the visuals.

Keep doing this until the viewers ‘ear’ settles down to your voice style, but if this is working, maybe all the way through.

Cheers.

Thank you for your time and comments! I will give that a try.

Bob Safay · September 18th, 2020, 06:02 PM

Ray, great video. I really enjoyed the footage of the old buildings. Things take a long time to rust in that dry climate. My one comment is that in the beginning and also a few times in the body of the video, the music could have been toned down just a bit. also, as the narration could have been slowed down just a bit. Other than that I think it was a hit. Looking forward to more of these trips through time. Bob

Ray Dunakin · September 18th, 2020, 06:43 PM

Thanks Bob!

Ray Dunakin · September 20th, 2020, 01:57 PM

Thanks for all the input! I made a few changes -- put a little "breathing room" between some of the lines of narration, and shifted one line a bit. Here's the final version:

Orizaba Mine, NV 2020

Join me as I explore some very picturesque ruins at Orizaba, NV and the Orizaba Mine. This was one of the most interesting sites I visited during my 2020 trip. The mine’s structures are over 110 years old, and include two stationary boilers, a head frame, hoist, and other artifacts. You’ll also see the cabins of the old mining camp.

Music:
“Cinematic Inspiring Piano & Strings”
“Inspiring Piano”
by Siberian Music
https://audiojungle.net/item/inspiri...rings/26619935
https://audiojungle.net/item/inspiring-piano/19265913
Licensed through AudioJungle

Allan Black · September 20th, 2020, 05:28 PM

G’day Ray, despite all the rivets there, you nailed it! Nice work, your narration now works much better than your earlier version.

One thing I meant to add before, can you leave your original video in place, then it’ll be a great tutorial for others here, if you haven’t deleted it that is.

The only other comment I’d make for future productions and you might be doing this already. But using this video as an example, you have an international audience and some folk don’t know where NV is. So maybe start with a map of the U.S. highlight Nevada and zoom in etc.

Cheers.

Ray Dunakin · September 20th, 2020, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Allan Black

G’day Ray, despite all the rivets there, you nailed it! Nice work, your narration now works much better than your earlier version.

One thing I meant to add before, can you leave your original video in place, then it’ll be a great tutorial for others here, if you haven’t deleted it that is.

Cheers.

Thanks. Unfortunately I've already deleted the original version.

Allan Black · September 21st, 2020, 05:21 PM

Ray, have you thought about doing any commercial work? You’re a one stop shop, from the script to the final mix. With your beaut drone footage you could easily produce good commercial videos.

A good way to start is to produce gratis community service videos for local Tv. You could move onto local advertisers, eg: using your drone camera, car dealers, real estate etc.

Cheers.

Ray Dunakin · September 21st, 2020, 07:04 PM

Thanks Allan. At this stage of my life the last thing I want to do is start a new business, especially one where I'd have to deal with clients. (Been there, done that, as a freelance illustrator.) I'm having too much fun to spoil it by turning it into a job. :-) I don't even monetize my videos.

If I could find a way to make a buck off my videos without selling my soul, I'd definitely consider it. But I'm in no hurry to do that.

Allan Black · September 22nd, 2020, 11:46 PM

Ray, The Nevada Tourist Commission would be a thought.

And I’ll bet the Nevada Historical Society would be happy to hear from you ...

Cheers.

September 17th, 2020, 06:44 PM	#1
Ray Dunakin Regular Crew Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 100	Please tell me what you think I'd like some feedback on my newest video before I make it public. I'm particularly concerned about the opening lines of the narration -- I'm not quite sure it works. Any other comments or suggestions would also be appreciated. YouTube (Short URL) __________________ Ghost Towns, Mines, and More: www.raydunakin.com

September 17th, 2020, 07:12 PM	#2
Rainer Listing Major Player Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Nowra, Australia Posts: 440	Re: Please tell me what you think Nice footage - I'm thinking the night footage and commentary ( at ~12-20 secs) would be better at the end, make a nice conclusion.

September 17th, 2020, 07:23 PM	#3
Allan Black Inner Circle Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Sydney. Posts: 2,931	Re: Please tell me what you think Great program Ray. A couple of comments, I think the opening narration is to fast. I don’t think you have to re-record it, but try putting ‘breath gaps’ in all the opening sentences, to suit the pace of the visuals. Keep doing this until the viewers ‘ear’ settles down to your voice style, but if this is working, maybe all the way through. Cheers. __________________ Drink more tap water. On admission at Sydney hospitals more than 5% of day patients are de-hydrated.

September 18th, 2020, 06:02 PM	#6
Bob Safay Trustee Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 1,558	Re: Please tell me what you think Ray, great video. I really enjoyed the footage of the old buildings. Things take a long time to rust in that dry climate. My one comment is that in the beginning and also a few times in the body of the video, the music could have been toned down just a bit. also, as the narration could have been slowed down just a bit. Other than that I think it was a hit. Looking forward to more of these trips through time. Bob

September 18th, 2020, 06:43 PM	#7
Ray Dunakin Regular Crew Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 100	Re: Please tell me what you think Thanks Bob! __________________ Ghost Towns, Mines, and More: www.raydunakin.com

September 20th, 2020, 01:57 PM	#8
Ray Dunakin Regular Crew Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 100	Re: Please tell me what you think Thanks for all the input! I made a few changes -- put a little "breathing room" between some of the lines of narration, and shifted one line a bit. Here's the final version: Orizaba Mine, NV 2020 YouTube (Short URL) Join me as I explore some very picturesque ruins at Orizaba, NV and the Orizaba Mine. This was one of the most interesting sites I visited during my 2020 trip. The mine’s structures are over 110 years old, and include two stationary boilers, a head frame, hoist, and other artifacts. You’ll also see the cabins of the old mining camp. Music: “Cinematic Inspiring Piano & Strings” “Inspiring Piano” by Siberian Music https://audiojungle.net/item/inspiri...rings/26619935 https://audiojungle.net/item/inspiring-piano/19265913 Licensed through AudioJungle __________________ Ghost Towns, Mines, and More: www.raydunakin.com

September 20th, 2020, 05:28 PM	#9
Allan Black Inner Circle Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Sydney. Posts: 2,931	Re: Please tell me what you think G’day Ray, despite all the rivets there, you nailed it! Nice work, your narration now works much better than your earlier version. One thing I meant to add before, can you leave your original video in place, then it’ll be a great tutorial for others here, if you haven’t deleted it that is. The only other comment I’d make for future productions and you might be doing this already. But using this video as an example, you have an international audience and some folk don’t know where NV is. So maybe start with a map of the U.S. highlight Nevada and zoom in etc. Cheers. __________________ Drink more tap water. On admission at Sydney hospitals more than 5% of day patients are de-hydrated.

September 21st, 2020, 05:21 PM	#11
Allan Black Inner Circle Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Sydney. Posts: 2,931	Re: Please tell me what you think Ray, have you thought about doing any commercial work? You’re a one stop shop, from the script to the final mix. With your beaut drone footage you could easily produce good commercial videos. A good way to start is to produce gratis community service videos for local Tv. You could move onto local advertisers, eg: using your drone camera, car dealers, real estate etc. Cheers. __________________ Drink more tap water. On admission at Sydney hospitals more than 5% of day patients are de-hydrated.

September 21st, 2020, 07:04 PM	#12
Ray Dunakin Regular Crew Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 100	Re: Please tell me what you think Thanks Allan. At this stage of my life the last thing I want to do is start a new business, especially one where I'd have to deal with clients. (Been there, done that, as a freelance illustrator.) I'm having too much fun to spoil it by turning it into a job. :-) I don't even monetize my videos. If I could find a way to make a buck off my videos without selling my soul, I'd definitely consider it. But I'm in no hurry to do that. __________________ Ghost Towns, Mines, and More: www.raydunakin.com

September 22nd, 2020, 11:46 PM	#13
Allan Black Inner Circle Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Sydney. Posts: 2,931	Re: Please tell me what you think Ray, The Nevada Tourist Commission would be a thought. And I’ll bet the Nevada Historical Society would be happy to hear from you ... Mining Then & Now - YouTube Cheers. __________________ Drink more tap water. On admission at Sydney hospitals more than 5% of day patients are de-hydrated.