Short film shot on XL2 24p 16:9

[Joshua Owens]

I shot a short film over the past weekend on the XL2 24p 16:9. It is on youtube.
Comments and constructive criticism please, since this is only my third short film.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8xFDIfRRJc

[Ryan Mueller]

A little disturbing, but I suppose this kind of thing could possibly happen. As for constructive criticism I have a tendancy to be very staraight forward, but my intentions I promise are not to be mean.

Pros: I liked your style of shooting i.e. top down shot of them in bed and her in front of the window, you took the effort to use an external mic, the colors were muted which definitely fit the piece.

Cons: I could tell you used an external mic because you could hear the audio tech's hands moving on the boom pole, the entire piece was shot from the shoulder and though sometimes it can add a nice effect some shots (I feel) coul've used a tripod, I have a hard time believing that this was shot all 24P because in some of the shots a serious interlacing problem is apparent, though the colors were very flat and tungsten I'm not quite sure if this was actually on purpose but if it was keep experimenting with that for content this dark.

All in all it is actually pretty good for only your third piece. Keep shooting and maybe play around with the depth of field that the camera is capable of.

[Michael Nistler]

Hi Joshua,

Okay, here's some candid feedback on areas you'll want to consider include:

1. Camera shots - need to move from wide, medium, CU, ECU. Use angle shots, reverse POV, etc. Avoid fast pans that blur the scene. Also change the tripod angle to avoid hunting (wobbling) for the talent during pan. Cudos on three shots that worked well:
a. Very nice opening pan/rack shot on Amanda and Cody - well framed with steady camera.
b. Good composition where Amanda is glancing out the window, looking through the blinds (consider opening the blinds to 90 degrees to enhance the shadows cast by the blinds onto Amanda's face).
c. I liked your low camera angle when Amanda moved across the room.

2. Study editing of others - the edits need quite a bit of work, especially the closing shot of Cody; the final shot is over seven seconds on Jack with absolutely nothing happening - no movement, no facial expression, no music, no camera work. At a minimum, consider a slow pan-in or pan-out, depending on what subliminal effect you are trying to achieve. BTW, the title should be centered.

3. Music/special effects - starts off okay in intro but should definitely be added to support drama ("by the way, I have AIDS") Assuming this line underscores the megatheme, the composition should bring everthing together (camera angle, voice, music/special effects, lighting, pacing, etc).

4. Narration - rehearse the lines, correct pacing/pause problems and improve the inflection.

5. Lighting - way too many shadows on Cody.

6. Sound - Ditto Ryan's comments. Those thumping sounds really need to go.

BTW, I like Amanda's acting talent. Good presence, timing, and diction speaking her lines.

Thanks for sharing and good luck on your future productions!

Warm Regards, Michael

[Chris C. Collins]

Haha, I saw it comin'.