What is a professional videographer? at DVinfo.net

John McCully · September 18th, 2005, 10:47 AM

How is your sense of humour this late summer sunny Sunday?

This is a self-test called ‘What is a professional videographer’! After reading a few posts here one could be forgiven for having doubts about this subject. Here is a list, undoubtedly incomplete, that might just help if you are having an identity crisis.

A professional videographer is one who:

Wins an Oscar
Hasn’t won an Oscar but will soon
Confuses his penis with his camera, and vice versa
Has a business card upon which is printed using an exotic font ‘Professional Videographer’
Shoots weddings using a HDW-F900 camera
Shoots weddings using a Hi8 camera but edits in FCP
Shoots weddings but has a PhD
Shoots weddings
Shoots funerals
A retired Doctor, Dentist, Lawyer, Accountant…etc who shoots the grandkids
Is writing a screenplay
Makes training videos using obscure technical language that only he/she understands
Makes training videos which are essentially copies of other training videos
Writes sales literature presenting it as the ultimate camera guidebook
Has been in the business 30 frikin years or more but never finished high school
Uses a tripod
Uses a monopod when on vacation
Uses a boom pole
Uses the wife, girlfriend, lover, and/or all three, to hold the boom pole
Shoots 24p and thereafter watches the footage on an aging 17” LCD
Can always see the difference between 24p and 25p
Knows that the ‘film look’ is the end all and the be all.
Knows that interlaced video is the work of the Devil
Has a following of stupid sycophants
Makes a living using a video camera
Doesn’t make a living using a video camera but will one day
Would change his/her spouse before changing tape brands
Would rather jump off a cliff than shoot in auto
Responds to most every post no matter what
Would not be seen dead using an on-camera microphone
Know that it’s cool to bastardize the English language by using spelling such as ‘goanna, wanna, kinda’
Never considers content as important as the equipment
Loves his camera
Can repeatedly say they plan to print to film while keeping a straight face
Religiously believe in a specific equipment manufacturer
Takes this post seriously
Posts this kind of garbage

Oh, would some Power the gift give us,
To see ourselves as others see us;
It would from many a blunder
And foolish notion free us

Robert Burns - “To a Louse on Seeing One on a Lady’s Bonnet in Church.”

Matt Ockenfels · September 18th, 2005, 12:46 PM

Heh heh heh. All of the above!

Good laugh for a Sunday afternoon!

Cheers,
-Matt

Alexander Ibrahim · September 23rd, 2005, 10:34 PM

Cause I like resemble that remark... or list of remarks.

LOL.

I needed a grin.

September 18th, 2005, 10:47 AM	#1
John McCully Major Player Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: South Island, New Zealand Posts: 609 Images: 2	What is a professional videographer? How is your sense of humour this late summer sunny Sunday? This is a self-test called ‘What is a professional videographer’! After reading a few posts here one could be forgiven for having doubts about this subject. Here is a list, undoubtedly incomplete, that might just help if you are having an identity crisis. A professional videographer is one who: Wins an Oscar Hasn’t won an Oscar but will soon Confuses his penis with his camera, and vice versa Has a business card upon which is printed using an exotic font ‘Professional Videographer’ Shoots weddings using a HDW-F900 camera Shoots weddings using a Hi8 camera but edits in FCP Shoots weddings but has a PhD Shoots weddings Shoots funerals A retired Doctor, Dentist, Lawyer, Accountant…etc who shoots the grandkids Is writing a screenplay Makes training videos using obscure technical language that only he/she understands Makes training videos which are essentially copies of other training videos Writes sales literature presenting it as the ultimate camera guidebook Has been in the business 30 frikin years or more but never finished high school Uses a tripod Uses a monopod when on vacation Uses a boom pole Uses the wife, girlfriend, lover, and/or all three, to hold the boom pole Shoots 24p and thereafter watches the footage on an aging 17” LCD Can always see the difference between 24p and 25p Knows that the ‘film look’ is the end all and the be all. Knows that interlaced video is the work of the Devil Has a following of stupid sycophants Makes a living using a video camera Doesn’t make a living using a video camera but will one day Would change his/her spouse before changing tape brands Would rather jump off a cliff than shoot in auto Responds to most every post no matter what Would not be seen dead using an on-camera microphone Know that it’s cool to bastardize the English language by using spelling such as ‘goanna, wanna, kinda’ Never considers content as important as the equipment Loves his camera Can repeatedly say they plan to print to film while keeping a straight face Religiously believe in a specific equipment manufacturer Takes this post seriously Posts this kind of garbage Oh, would some Power the gift give us, To see ourselves as others see us; It would from many a blunder And foolish notion free us Robert Burns - “To a Louse on Seeing One on a Lady’s Bonnet in Church.”

September 18th, 2005, 12:46 PM	#2
Matt Ockenfels Regular Crew Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Issaquah, WA Posts: 62	Heh heh heh. All of the above! Good laugh for a Sunday afternoon! Cheers, -Matt __________________ Matt Ockenfels a pixel a day keeps boredom at bay

September 23rd, 2005, 10:34 PM	#3
Alexander Ibrahim Major Player Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Washington D.C. Metro Area Posts: 384	HEY! Are you talking about me!?! Cause I like resemble that remark... or list of remarks. LOL. I needed a grin. __________________ Alexander Ibrahim http://www.alexanderibrahim.net