This is my second attempt at filming anything, I shot it with a little old camcorder so the quality isn't the greatest. The only help I had was having my wife show up in a scene for me. Otherwise... it was shot, acted (if you can call it that), and edited by yours truly.

Hope you like it.

Happy holidays!


Mike

Mike it looked good. I liked the story but the end left me hanging a bit too much. I'm assuming that he is wishing for his family back but I would have liked to have seen a little more. Maybe a knock at the door after he wrote down his wish or something.

On an unrelated note seeing some of good old Ottawa was nice, even if it was a suburban street (I'm guessing).

It was a little grainy, sure, but I can live with that. What seemed strange to me was the aspect ratio, it's as if the video is stretched vertically. Did you shoot and/or encode this in some unique way that may have caused that?

Really wonderful work, I didn't expect an ending like that. I think it happened a bit fast, though. Most of the movie sets a certain pace, up to and including the slow shot of the man opening the box, but immediately afterward, everything picks up, and the film's over in a flash. Only three minutes, I know, but I would have cut out some of the earlier stuff (maybe one or two of the first-person driving sequences) in favor of somehow extending the last scene which, I believe, seems almost comical with the sped up clip. Your hand moves so fast, it looks a little out of place. If perhaps we saw a close up of your character's face as he hesitated, unsure if he should attempt what he's about to, I think it might be a more appropriate fit for the mood, and bring the end sequence in line with the rest of the film as far as pace is concerned at the same time.

One last question, where is the music coming from? You (I'm assuming that's you, am I correct?) hear it, and it's what leads you to the box, but upon closer inspection it doesn't appear to be an actual music box. Is this just a supernatural beacon of some sort, or am I simply having trouble noticing the musical properties of this particular enclosure?

Try not to give away the ending to everyone else. ;)

Seriously though, I really wanted to leave it up to the viewer.

Yup, shot in Ottawa... just around the neighbourhood. A nice little suburban crescent. :)

Thanks for the comments!

mike

It was a little grainy, sure, but I can live with that. What seemed strange to me was the aspect ratio, it's as if the video is stretched vertically. Did you shoot and/or encode this in some unique way that may have caused that?

One last question, where is the music coming from? You (I'm assuming that's you, am I correct?) hear it, and it's what leads you to the box, but upon closer inspection it doesn't appear to be an actual music box. Is this just a supernatural beacon of some sort, or am I simply having trouble noticing the musical properties of this particular enclosure?

It's a really old crappy camera.
I could probably pull off a better image if I knew the first thing about lighting a scene. Not sure about the aspect ratio issue?

The music is coming from the bunnies under the bed. That's why I hold up the one I'm looking at to my head. It's not coming from that one so I look for the sound and find that it's coming from under the bed.

You pull the tail and it plays music. A flashback of that would have been useful but my 3 year old is no actress. ;)

I liked a lot of the shots in this. It did leave a little too much to the imagination but got the story across. The aspect ratio is off, looks like it was an export issue. I thought it was a good story and to get the crying scene must have taken some work. Good Work.

I liked a lot of the shots in this. It did leave a little too much to the imagination but got the story across. The aspect ratio is off, looks like it was an export issue. I thought it was a good story and to get the crying scene must have taken some work. Good Work.

Thanks for the nice comments... I'll start a thread in "Attend the World Premiere" to figure out the aspect ratio problem later.
The crying scene was tough to pull off... first time for me in front of the camera. I'm no actor...

Thanks again,

Mike

I thought your crying scene was extremely believable! Very well done. Doing an entire film by yourself is no easy task, I know. My hat is off to you on this effort.

There is one edit that really stands out in my mind. The CU of the dead woman and open eye with the bobbing head of the deer decoration. As though she is looking at it. Quite a powerful juxtaposition.

Like a few other posts here, I am very curious about the ending. I see you posted "to leave it up to the viewer." Let's say you are the viewer for a moment. What would you take away?

Best wishes~
Bradley

Hey Mike, I thought that turned out pretty good. I remember you had a screen grab up and a couple of us looked at it to help bring up the the scene. Great job !

Good heavens, Mike; that beginning up through the murder was one of the most chilling sequences I've ever seen! That thing with the deer lights is still freakin' me out! (May not help that I've been up all night. :) Horror flicks might be in your future...

For using "an old crappy camera," I'd say you did an excellent job. I really appreciated the look throughout. You have a good eye (with the possible exception of the framing on that ringing phone--but that just may be me :). Framing yourself can be quite the frustration; you sure pulled it off nicely.

Please do yourself a favor and don't criticize your acting anymore, okay? You did a fabulous job. :)

Bradley,

Thanks for the nice comments. As for the ending... I think his wish would be for "that night" never to have happened. Or something to that effect...

I would have to word it very carefully.

Chris,

Thanks a ton! You really helped me out with that. Thanks to you and the others I was able to bring out some lost detail in a very dark scene.

Lorinda,

Excellent! I wanted it to bring a very real/creepy tone to the beginning. I do love horror flicks. My only other finished short (my first) is a 3 minute horror. :)

I'm glad that the deer scene worked. I was hoping that it would play out just as you described. Disturbing was my intent...

As for the acting... thanks for all the kudos. I won't go on about it anymore. ;)

Thanks for all the comments,

Mike

Great lighting. Great title design. The electric lawn deer - eerie segue between its normalcy and the dead body. Oh and the melding of the wind up Christmas tune and eerie bass string mix to bring in the moment, fantastic. Excellent use of music to stir my emotions.

Mike -

Great movie! I'm with Lorinda, you sure have a knack for horror! The way the beginning was shot and edited made it really creepy and the pace was perfect!

I think the ending works...I mean I definately got that he was about to wish for his family back or for the murders not to have happened. I think its good to leave it up in the air as to whether his wish works or not. Either it seems like his last desperate attempt to bring them back or it takes a supernatural twist and they never died...As long as you intend for the viewer to wonder, then it works. If, however, you have a specific outcome in mind I'd go a step further and give a hint of what's to come...

-Jamey-

Great lighting. Great title design. The electric lawn deer - eerie segue between its normalcy and the dead body. Oh and the melding of the wind up Christmas tune and eerie bass string mix to bring in the moment, fantastic. Excellent use of music to stir my emotions.

Awesome! I'm glad that you liked it. I wanted the wind up music to come across exactly like that.

Thanks,

Mike

Mike -

Great movie! I'm with Lorinda, you sure have a knack for horror! The way the beginning was shot and edited made it really creepy and the pace was perfect!


Thanks, I definitely love the horror genre. I just had to squeeze it in... :)


I think the ending works...I mean I definately got that he was about to wish for his family back or for the murders not to have happened. I think its good to leave it up in the air as to whether his wish works or not. Either it seems like his last desperate attempt to bring them back or it takes a supernatural twist and they never died...As long as you intend for the viewer to wonder, then it works. If, however, you have a specific outcome in mind I'd go a step further and give a hint of what's to come...

-Jamey-

Yes, it's exactly what I intended. I'm tired of movies that spell everything out for you, and I purposely left the ending in the mind of the viewer. We can all pretty much guess what he wrote down... but I can think of at least 3 ways that it could play out. All of them differently.

Thanks for all the kind words.


Mike

I liked the shots. Very nice. For me though, you could have just opened this film up at 59 seconds. It wouldn't have lost a thing without that first minute. Play on the Christmas lights and the mechanical deer then move into your bedroom telephone scene. This would have afforded you more time on the three wishes flashbacks. Nice job though, very enjoyable.

I liked the shots. Very nice. For me though, you could have just opened this film up at 59 seconds. It wouldn't have lost a thing without that first minute. Play on the Christmas lights and the mechanical deer then move into your bedroom telephone scene. This would have afforded you more time on the three wishes flashbacks. Nice job though, very enjoyable.

Thanks Dennis, I really wanted to have the long drive home coinciding with what was going on in the house. I've shown it to some people who watched the opening scene... they saw "The Gift"... noticed all the lights... someone coming home at Christmas... and they thought "This is going to be a "nice" movie."

Once the shape came up behind her and grabbed her... they were shocked!
I didn't want to throw that at them instantly.

I do agree that I should have cut it down some though... it went on too long. Cutting it out entirely is out of the question for me, but cutting it down is needed. Having more time at the end would have made for a better moment. I totally agree with that.

Thanks again for the advice,

Mike

Okay if you're married to the opening driving scene then one quick suggestion for you if it's okay. Might want to cut maybe 3 seconds from it somewhere safe and then give yourself a longer dissolve to show time passage. Right now it looks kind of rushed. Not a dig, just something I noticed.

Mike,

Crappy old camera didn't hurt a bit...Except it may be what caused the aspect ratio problem. I have an old Sony Digital8 that has a widescreen mode but video from it must be shown on a widescreen TV otherwise it shows exactly as yours did. That may be a combination camera and NLE issue.

I use Pinnacle Studio and versions previous to 9 couldn't handle widescreen well if at all. Version 9 would edit in widescreen and version 10 will let me mix both on a 4:3 timeline, the widescreen letterboxes.

Your use of visual elements is powerful, and as others have said, your acting portrayed just what you obviously wanted it to. The grief your character shows is very moving.

Your use of sound added much mood setting effect ranging from the deafening silence with the deer bobbing slowly to where you use repeating echoes of the little girls vocal wishes.

And to me, the way you ended it was perfect!

Bruce

Okay if you're married to the opening driving scene then one quick suggestion for you if it's okay. Might want to cut maybe 3 seconds from it somewhere safe and then give yourself a longer dissolve to show time passage. Right now it looks kind of rushed. Not a dig, just something I noticed.
Yup, and I agreed to just that. I wouldn't mind cutting back on the opening one bit. I just wouldn't erase it completely for anything. ;)

You made some great points, and I agree with them. Don't hold back... I need all the help I can get.

Thanks,

Mike

Mike,

Crappy old camera didn't hurt a bit...Except it may be what caused the aspect ratio problem. I have an old Sony Digital8 that has a widescreen mode but video from it must be shown on a widescreen TV otherwise it shows exactly as yours did. That may be a combination camera and NLE issue.

I use Pinnacle Studio and versions previous to 9 couldn't handle widescreen well if at all. Version 9 would edit in widescreen and version 10 will let me mix both on a 4:3 timeline, the widescreen letterboxes.

Your use of visual elements is powerful, and as others have said, your acting portrayed just what you obviously wanted it to. The grief your character shows is very moving.

Your use of sound added much mood setting effect ranging from the deafening silence with the deer bobbing slowly to where you use repeating echoes of the little girls vocal wishes.

And to me, the way you ended it was perfect!

Bruce


Bruce, I think you hit the nail on the head about the aspect ratio issues, thanks. Mine is also a Sony camera.

As for the movie comments... you really "got" what I was trying to portray. I purposely dropped the music out of range during the deer bobbing shot. If you listen closely you can even hear it squeak during the close-up and wide shot. I thought it was a nice touch. ;)

Thanks for the "ending" comment as well! Much appreciated.

Mike

I'm predicting this film will do well in the voting, even with that technical difficulty. In fact, that stretched look may have given a bit more of movie feel, because overtime we have been used to having movies shown that way from time to time. I can remebmer watching "Die Hard" stretched like that.

I really liked this film. And I now love Christmas lawn deer!

I always like the ones that make you stretch your brain a bit. And leaving the ending open was a nice touch. I'm guessing you're a Guy Richie fan?

Some really nice edits too.

I'm predicting this film will do well in the voting, even with that technical difficulty. In fact, that stretched look may have given a bit more of movie feel, because overtime we have been used to having movies shown that way from time to time. I can remebmer watching "Die Hard" stretched like that.

Wow... thanks!

I really don't expect to do all that well, there are some really great films in this challenge. I'm just glad that I was able to finish one all by my lonesome. :)

I'm already looking forward to the next one!

I really liked this film. And I now love Christmas lawn deer!

I always like the ones that make you stretch your brain a bit. And leaving the ending open was a nice touch. I'm guessing you're a Guy Richie fan?

Some really nice edits too.

This is great... I'm so glad that many of you liked it. I never expected this kind of response.

Brent, I loved "Snatch", but I really don't know many of his other movies. I just don't like the cute little wrapped up endings that we constanty get spoonfed all the time. I would rather leave more to the imagination of the audience.

Thanks again, I'm glad that a few of you liked it so much.

Cheers,

Mike

Go rent 'Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels'

You'll love it!

Go rent 'Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels'

You'll love it!
I've definitely heard of it... never got a chance to see it.
I'll try and rent it soon.

BTW, anyone have any advice on how to improve the recorded sound? All the voice work (and a few other sounds) were recorded via the mic camera. It took me quite a bit of tweaking to get it to sound decent. Is there a quick way around this?

Any advice on this would be helpful.

Edit: I'm using Premiere Pro 1.5
I have Audition 1.5 as well but I didn't use it. I'm not too familiar with it yet.

Thanks,

Mike

Have you ever ADR'd dialog before?

I'm assuming you're talking about just the dialog right? Phone effects and car/truck drive by's can all be found and added later.

Looks like we might be in for a horror/thriller showdown. Hey, that's my genre pal. It's fun to share. Read the comments so far and your answers. You sound a lot like a younger version of me. I am in the same boat and have been since the beginning of these contests. Well, at least since DVC2. If you get the itch, hit my web site and take a look at some of the shorts I have done. You might like one or two. I particularly like "Track 11", one of my latest shorts.

On to the critique - well done.

Being as it is so dark (which is fine) I had to go back and hit it a second time to be sure I saw everything everyone else saw. For added shock, I might have had the killer walking down the hall to the room of the sleeping child but I know folks can get really bent out of shape on something like that. It happens, nobody wants to think about it but it is truly bone chilling evil when it happens.

I too feel the end was a bit rushed but I would have to think about how I could have slowed it down to match the pace of the rest of the story.

Basically, ya did good.

Sean

Looks like we might be in for a horror/thriller showdown. Hey, that's my genre pal. It's fun to share. Read the comments so far and your answers. You sound a lot like a younger version of me. I am in the same boat and have been since the beginning of these contests. Well, at least since DVC2. If you get the itch, hit my web site and take a look at some of the shorts I have done. You might like one or two. I particularly like "Track 11", one of my latest shorts.

On to the critique - well done.

Being as it is so dark (which is fine) I had to go back and hit it a second time to be sure I saw everything everyone else saw. For added shock, I might have had the killer walking down the hall to the room of the sleeping child but I know folks can get really bent out of shape on something like that. It happens, nobody wants to think about it but it is truly bone chilling evil when it happens.

I too feel the end was a bit rushed but I would have to think about how I could have slowed it down to match the pace of the rest of the story.

Basically, ya did good.

Sean


Thanks! I actually had a scene worked out that consisted of seeing a child (from the knees down) walking out of her room. She calls out... "Daddy?" Then we see a masked face turn and look towards her. Unfortunately, she was not very cooperative that day. The shots I did shoot came out too dark as well. Of course, I would have filmed the scene with the masked shape looking at her separately and edit it in.

BTW, Did anyone hear her call out "Mommy" as Mom was being strangled? You have to listen closely, but it's there.

Thanks for the great comments.

Mike

Have you ever ADR'd dialog before?

Not exactly sure what that means. :)
Ah... additional dialogue recording. Nope, I've never done that. I'm still very new at this...

The only dialogue I've ever used is what came from using the camera mic. I have added other sounds/effects separately though.

Any advice on the best way to do ADR?

There is a ton of advice on how to do ADR, search the 'Now Hear This' forum. Douglas Spotted Eagle has a really good tutorial on it. It's a lot easier to do than I thought. If you get stuck just ask.

One tip we learned is when you open the editing software and you want to loop the section you're going to ADR, give yourself three seconds or so before and after or even the whole line before. Reason is we found out if you loop it fast, the actor will just repeat it fast and you loose that 'feelling' in the voice.

Good luck!

BTW, Did anyone hear her call out "Mommy" as Mom was being strangled? You have to listen closely, but it's there.



I'll have to listen again for the "mommy"

Not knowing that the little girl was killed was the only thing that bothered me a hair the first time I watched it, because you never get a sense of that until he's looking at the photos and saying "i really miss them"...But after reading your post about how you tried to show her walking out saying "Daddy." I totally understand that you tried and it just didn't work out with the time pressure... What you were trying to do is exactly what I would've suggested, though!

So on a different note...I totally showed your film to on of my best friends who loves the horror/supernatural genre too and he LOVED your film over all of the other ones I showed him! Dare I say its one of my top picks too? :-) Can't wait to see what you do next!

Jamey*

I'll have to listen again for the "mommy"

Not knowing that the little girl was killed was the only thing that bothered me a hair the first time I watched it, because you never get a sense of that until he's looking at the photos and saying "i really miss them"...But after reading your post about how you tried to show her walking out saying "Daddy." I totally understand that you tried and it just didn't work out with the time pressure... What you were trying to do is exactly what I would've suggested, though!

So on a different note...I totally showed your film to on of my best friends who loves the horror/supernatural genre too and he LOVED your film over all of the other ones I showed him! Dare I say its one of my top picks too? :-) Can't wait to see what you do next!

Jamey*

Yah, I wanted to do more with the little girl and that scene but it just didn't work out. You'll have to listen for the "Mommy?" part... it's there. ;)

Thanks a lot for the compliments, I really appreciate it.

I'm actually planning on re-shooting the entire thing with real actors and adding a few extra scenes to flesh it out. Maybe pushing it to around 5 minutes or so. If it turns out well... maybe entering it in my first festival, who knows.

Thanks again,

Mike