Well, my film will most likely be posted on Saturday and I will be out all day.

This is my first DV Challenge entry as well as my first short film attempt.
As you'll see in the credits, it was me and two other people, so at least I had some help.

This was shot using a Sony Z1U for those interested.

Looking forward to your comments/suggestions.

Enjoy!

Jim

Oh man, why chocolate chip? That's my favorite! Now I'm so hungry...

Beautiful images--that time lapse of the cookies baking was amazing!

Back in a bit; gotta go find something to eat... :)

This is among the most professionally packaged films to date, everything seemed so polished. Great, great job. Especially the whack in the head the wife gives her husband, I like that.

Honestly, I didn't get it the first time through; felt like the movie ended before anything happened. I thought maybe she had taken the cookies somewhere, and was waiting for the next scene, at what I assumed would be the party. Then I went back and saw the gag with the minivan, and I love it.

I still can't figure out if anything came of the husband saying "anything for you, dear"; afterward, the wife raises her eyebrows, and I thought something was going to happen, when in reality she's no longer paying attention to the guy, and is raising her eyebrows to indicate an idea related to making the cookies. You might spread those two actions out a bit, this close together they seem to be intended for one another.

Super job. And those Toyotas work well as an oven here in California...

I loved that you could tell an entire coherent story in only 2 minutes. I think often we're stuck trying to cram in too much that 3 minutes won't do and so the story comes out unclear. You have proved that we don't need more time, we need the right story for the time we have. On the technical side I liked the camera moves and the tight editing.

Smile,
Kris

Ahhhhh, I get it now. Great job. Really looked great. Sound was super. Really good camera work. Very natural dialog. Damn I suck.

Thanks for the feedback.

I wish I had some cookies left over to send you Lorinda! The timelapse was a lot of fun. We went to a friend's house with an oven that had a window. We had to take the door off the oven and take this 'grill' off so we could see through the glass. Then I shot it at an angle, tried to light it as well as I could and sped the over 8 minutes of footage to about 5 seconds.

Robert, I have high aspirations, so I try my hardest to really put together a quality production, thanks for the compliment.

I've had others not 'get it' the first time either, and this was a bit of a quandry for us. Not giving too much away, but still wanting the twist at the end. I see your point about the wife and the husbands comments. That makes sense.

Hey Chris, just noticed you're in Elk Grove! Ha. I grew up in Modesto. It was HOT over there about a month ago.

Jim

Kris, my goal was to make it as short as I could and still tell a story. A college professor in my design/writing class told me something I remember over 20 years later (man I'm getting old) 'brevity, brevity, brevity'. That's the key.

So often, we think a short film that has a limit of 3 minutes HAS to be 3 minutes. It doesn't.

Thanks for the camera and editing compliments.

Hey Michael, thanks for the nice words. Maybe next time I can make the ending a little more 'gettable' (is there such a word???)

Jim

hahaha, I like to have to think. If it wasn't for these DVC's, my brain would just wither and die. With most movies today, I'm not used to having to think. (I just re-read this and I sound like a moron).

I wish I had some cookies left over to send you
That's so nice of you! But not necessary anymore. I baked some cookies in these intervening hours and have polished off several--feel much better now. :)

James, this is such an accomplished movie; not one thing "wrong" with it. Unusual for me, but I got it the first time through! Just wanted you to know in case you're keeping track.

We all "think" through different eyes. That's partly what makes the movies so cool. :)

I'm slow too. I didn't get it the first time through. I thought she was taking the cookies to a neighbors house. Very funny.

Also very beautifully shot, and tightly scripted.

This is one of my favourites. James, amazing job. It looks like this one will be a tough contender in the finals.

Hey Justin,

Thanks for the kind words. I really like the coloring in your clips and the beautiful location.

I used to fly for Delta Connection out of Boston and would overnight in Halifax. Never got out much, but I always liked flying up there.

Take care,

Jim

Hey, that was good. I too missed the baking in the car bit the first time through. Had to back it up to get it. If you don't get it, it seems like you missed something important, and in fact I had.

Shot very well. The young lady can act as well. Nice. Kept the color in check, had some clever bits, music fits nicely, etc.

To keep from loosing people, perhaps I would have done a zoom out looking at the cookies through the windshield of the car when the wife takes them out? Seems like that needs a bit of clarifying only in that a large group of people seem to have missed it, like myself.

Still, great job.

Sean

Thanks for the comments.

Yes, we struggled with how to 'reveal' the twist at the end. That would have been a good idea to zoom in through the windshield.

I was also thinking about having a 'cookies' POV facing the rear of the minivan and having a CU of the cookies, the 'oven' (back hatch) opens, cut to a wide of the woman pulling the cookies out to a reverse of her coming around and closing the 'oven' door.

My wife will appreciate your comments about her acting. It is great to have a partner who loves this stuff and is willing to work hard at it.

Thanks again Sean,

Jim

Take heart Jim. I got it on the first viewing and I'm sure others did as well.

I understood it I think its pretty clear where the cookies were and it makes perfect sense. (Clear at the end of course)

I got it as well. It could have been made a little clearer with the right shot but it was still very well done.

Mike