here are my comments on Slapen:

1. As a practical matter you may want to consider doing the films in English to widen your audience. At least put subtitles in.

2. Technically it looked fine, lighting, camera angles etc. However, I wasn't sure what genre it was supposed to be. A bit confusing. In other words, I had a hard time following what was going on. At the end I really had no idea what this movie was about. There seemed to be no beginning , middle or end.

3. The acting was good, but the choice of the girl playing blind wasn't convincing. Blind people that I know or have seen don't look around with their eyes. Maybe that is just a character flaw, but it threw me off to maybe thinking she wasn't blind, which in turn made it more confusing.

4. Next time spend more time developing the story, characters and genre of the movie, so its more clear to the audience, otherwise you lose them.

5. Overall, it just seemed like a bit overly dramatic with no real story to follow and music to intensify moments that weren't clear or defined.

In summary, after watching it I read your log line of "woman tries to bury her dead husband in all secrecy" however none of that was clear. We really never saw the body, or that it was a body. We had no idea who the girl was or the man coming in at the end. There was no set up to anyone being killed, or dying. Or any reason why the woman was trying to bury someone in some abandoned room/warehouse. I.e your intent of the logline just never came across to me.

Hope that helps.

Continue

Duke

I'm glad you saved some time to give feedback.

I'll try to answer in overall:
It was supposed to be a drama, but in an overblown & Hollywoodian kind of way. I can understand that it's a bit confusing since indeed, there is no real beginning-middle-end structure, because it's just an excerpt from, a grab out of a hysteric situation. Not understanding the language will have also played its toll in not completely understanding the short. I will pay attention to such things in the future!
The acting on the blind part was the hardest thing to achieve from the girl, and I must admit that I didn't do enough research to have it played fully convincingly.
But I do think that it is somewhat clear that it's a human body she's dragging around, considering the shape... Off course, you never really get to see it, but I didn't think that was necessary, but that's just my opinion...
Plus, indeed you have no clue on who the man is. I admitally should've worked that out a bit more. But you do know who the girl is, since she calls for her mother just before we get to see her the first time.
I intentionally didn't focus on the 'why did she do it?', 'how has that happened' kind of things. I did focus on a tension-packed short piece where there are lots of things happening at the same time, without going deeply into the matters. That's why I think it's more a Hollywoodian 'entertainment'-like drama, than a real drama...

Also, what you say about it is supposely located in an abandoned room/warehouse is something I heard twice before, even though it is actually a really dirty, old outside court.

But I did hear those two same comments before I've done any color-correction, and the footage had an overall yellow look. So, after that I color-corrected everything in a cyan/blue look, to make it have more an 'under the moonlight' feel...

Apparently turns out that that still isn't clear.. :p
Any suggestions that I could've done here...?

Sorry for any incorrect spelling, English is not my first language. :)

I liked it. The shooting and editing was really well done. I thought the transition from the pool to the ocean was great. Not just a good little "trick cut" but actually really good visual story telliing.
The only thing that concerned me was the amplitude of what was being shot. The action lacked enough intensity to be an engaging "surfing" movie, but it sounds like you're not trying to accomplish that at all (documentary about sea life).

There was a really bad movie a while back, "Blue Crush" but it might give you some ideas for great surfing shots. One of my favorites was the under water shot where you are seeing the bottom of the surf board riding through the swirling water which is the curl of the wave.

Nice work.

Om De Hoek 2

Not bad. Once he was let go I didn't find it all that convincing. The hit didn't look like much and he didn't appear injured enough to need to be crawling on the floor.

The sound effect at the end also needs work.

The lighting was also quite obvious, as were the shadows on the wall.

But! The mood you created was excellent.

Still, it seems like you are just creating scenes as apposed to actual short films, if you get my meaning. Your movies will have a lot more impact if we get to know and care for the characters first.

Good job though!

Mike

Thanks Bert,I appreciate your comments.

Om De Hoek 2

Not bad. Once he was let go I didn't find it all that convincing. The hit didn't look like much and he didn't appear injured enough to need to be crawling on the floor.
We really had trouble in hitting this off correctly, and I just didn't know how to do it, and I still don't... So, my question: in acting, how do you punch or kick someone, without hurting 'em, and make it look realistic without the use of a montage ??

The sound effect at the end also needs work.
That's because I don't know any good website that has good sounding sfx for free..!? So I looked in my Soundtrack Pro fx-library (which has very good quality fx sounds), and even there they didn't have what I was looking for. So I chose the sample that came the closest to what I needed..

The lighting was also quite obvious, as were the shadows on the wall.
Is this a bad thing? :)

Still, it seems like you are just creating scenes as apposed to actual short films, if you get my meaning. Your movies will have a lot more impact if we get to know and care for the characters first.
The reason for this is because all these shorts were class asignments, and mostly they are very specific in their tasks...
For example, with this one, we had to make a short consisting out of one longtake of minimum 3 minutes in length, without the use of dialogue/monologue, voice-overs & music...

That's really the most difficult part in my school/studies: making something that's yours whilst still staying between the boundaries of the assignment..!
Also, they all come at the same time so we had to make 4 films per semester this year. One moment you find yourself jumping from one project to the other. Really frustrating. That was really hard to pull off, and somewhat the reason why I couldn't always spend more time in developping the charachters/story a bit more...

Time IS a precious thing! :)

Maybe they've bought the same cd's then. ;) Some of the effects where done at a friend's studio, taken from commercial effect collections.

Glad you liked it!

We really had trouble in hitting this off correctly, and I just didn't know how to do it, and I still don't... So, my question: in acting, how do you punch or kick someone, without hurting 'em, and make it look realistic without the use of a montage ??

Cut the punch into multiple shots from different angles, including closeups and wide angle shots. Splice one or two shots together with a good shot of the guys facial reaction as he is getting hit. That might have more of an effect.


That's because I don't know any good website that has good sounding sfx for free..!? So I looked in my Soundtrack Pro fx-library (which has very good quality fx sounds), and even there they didn't have what I was looking for. So I chose the sample that came the closest to what I needed..

No problem, just thought it was worth mentioning.


Is this a bad thing? :)
That depends, were the shadows intentional? If not, then it's a bad thing. ;) They didn't seem to be needed and just added a distraction from the focus point.


The reason for this is because all these shorts were class asignments, and mostly they are very specific in their tasks...
For example, with this one, we had to make a short consisting out of one longtake of minimum 3 minutes in length, without the use of dialogue/monologue, voice-overs & music...

Aaah... understood.



Hopefully that makes sense...

Well.., your explanation about the punching/kicking technique didn't come into consideration for that movie, because we weren't allowed to do any editing on that one... It had to be just one shot. I wonder if there are other techniques that would work in such a shooting situation..!?

My goal on the lighting was a bit of a dilemma. On one side I wanted to make it look as realistic as possible, because that was what I wanted to achieve with the whole movie. On the other side it looked a little dull and too boring if done completely natural, so we worked it out a little until it had a more stylish, yet still realistic feel...
So, ultimatly, the shadows were intentional.

Hello everyone. These are the six most recent shorts I've made. Any comments, criticisms, questions would be great. The longest one is 8 minutes. The shortest is 1 and a half minutes. The are in order of when they were made.

"Waking Up"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcoPBpgoMrA

"The Runner"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqgWxWPoP7c

"Mercedes"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72MDuuXMf-A

"The Lemon Seed"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yqhaz0UK0Ng

"Maroon Lizard"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxxx38h_uIk

"07-27-07"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jicA3mufYS8

I have a .mac

But sorry to say Apple made iLife 08 for only newer macs. My Powerbook G4 which is only about a year and a half old will not run the new iLife. Looks like a cool program.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OFLFBK5JrA

Shot in my backyard with a "home-made" green screen made of poster boards using only natural sunlight. You be the judge and see how the results came out.

I gotta tell you, artbeats footage rocks!

Well done.
Amazing footage with some very close encounters. Looks like a lot of fun.

I always tought the Manxmen were crazy on the road, but now i see you guy's are crazy in the water too.

For some 10 years i'm planning to come to you're lovely island (TT-time), but for some reason i still didn't make it.

dude, that should be viral. I don't know why that's so freakin' catchy. It's not my style, but I'm passing it along.

Lucy (2:13) - Light from darkness
http://elmerlang.com/LucyDavis.html

The Great Gaspy (8:22) - Just try and shut him up
http://elmerlang.com/TheGreatGaspy.html

Elmer Lang
H2E Productions - "Better Than Water"
http://elmerlang.com - 50+ films

That IS too bad. iLife '08 is the perfect companion for the .Mac account.
That's a TRUE BUMMER.

Joseph

dude, that should be viral. I don't know why that's so freakin' catchy. It's not my style, but I'm passing it along.

Thanks man, we appreciate your help in passing it along. It was a departure from the videos I usually do, but it was lots of fun, going way back to childhood memories to dig up ideas for this video.

passed it along to my family and friends. Nicely done...

That, was really, really good. I was thoroughly entertained. Thanks for sharing!

Damn, what happened !?
->
The sound effect at the end also needs work.

I just watched it my self to check, and there is something completely wrong with that sfx! In both my 'Om The Hoek' movies btw...

SPOILERS
That fx is supposed to be a gunshot (obviously), but for some reason, it sounds like a little puff machine..!?

I don't understand how that happened..!
I also just checked the same movies on my DVD, and there, the sfx sounds like it should be. So I know I didn't just accidently delete the fx before uploading...

Any help, or suggestions ??
Any of you had this problem before ?

I have a unique situation, in that my 90-minute film (which is almost complete) is a compliation of 10 short stories. I am having a hard time coming up with the most creative way to do a trailer. There is a narrator character (ala Rod Serling of The Twighlight Zone), so I was thinking of having the narrators voice speaking over the trailer -- possibly showing bits and pieces of each story. The stories really don't relate to each other, other than the narrator character is the "story-teller".

Does anyone have any "outside of the box thinking" on this? If I use your idea, I will give you a credit in the film.

Thanks!

Thanks for the review Mike.

Unfortuantely I can't do anything about the angles in the edit. However, I have managed to fix the sound a bit and (i hope) make the edit a little more interesting. If you get a chance, please check out the remastered version of the film at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kf57RFKs-HU

Thank you everyone for your reviews. I tried to take all I could into account all the suggestions I could when I re-edited the film over the last two nights. I hope you all get a chance to check out the new version and let me know if you think it is any better/worse/same

The feel is a lot better, in my humble opinion . I really like the flashback/cutaway segments that you added and the way that you used the masks in post to separate them from the current action. The difference in the color process also set the flashbacks/cutaways apart really well. I really like it.

The one thing I think was better in the original was the end look on his face on the line, "In the kitchen." I don't like the blacks crushed quite so much. I understand that it's the same color timing as the rest of the piece. I just think that his eye sockets are a bit too dark.

I know that sounds knit picky. But the piece is really well done and that's the only thing I could think of that MIGHT make it better. Emphasis on MIGHT. This is by far not a breaking point for the piece.

Well done...

Kevin

Thanks amigos! I'm glad you all enjoyed it.

If it were me i'd think of a concept and shoot something purely for the trailer for example a motorway under pass (like the one in the origional terminator where she puts the bandage on him), theres an old tramp sitting next to a fire and he's the one telling the stories, you could get some nice close ups through the flames and creapy shots of the woods etc (opertunity for some dolly moves) and just add in some clips from each story.

If thats too cliched for you another option is to use text, think up something clever to write about your stories and put the text between clips of your stories.....something along the lines of humans inherant need to tell stories or even the patron saint or greek/roman god of story tellers (if there is such a thing).

These are just off the top of my head.

Andy.

It's like a gonzo history channel.
Refreshingly trippy.

I have been an keen observer for some months now and have recently aquired my A1, very new to the whole video thing and editing, was using pinnacle with the handycam, just for family stuff, now have Adobe production suite. Hoping for some feedback on the clip. It's difficult to get good quality on YouTube but hopefully can get the idea. Cheers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNgvAz4Ib-Y

Darren, congratulations on your new camera.

Moved this thread to the "Show Your Work" forum as we try to reserve the camera forums for technical or how-to discussions that relate specifically to the camera.

Hey guys. Pull these shots apart and tell me if you see anything that looks bad in them.

These are all tests for my first green screen movie. I'm the writer, Director, cinematographer, editor, visual effects supervisor and sound mixer so I am very close to it. Because of that I cant see mistakes to well. This is my first time doing this and I think its come out pretty well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZikyuOFWqeY

I recently started a part time gig with CBS MaxPreps. Each week I go to a Friday night football game and collect highlights of the game and capture the atmosphere of a hs football game with the marching band, cheerleaders, and fans. By Saturday night I have to turn in a 2 1/2 minute video highlight reel for viewing on the website.

Games don't start until this week, so for practice I shot a scrimmage on Friday. The video is available here (should start automatically on the right side).

http://www.maxpreps.com/FanPages/StateMain.mxp/Texas

This is my first video like this. Unfortunately we have to do a short, on camera intro/close (I prefer being BEHIND the camera). For that I'll work on the lighting next week (maybe an attachable camera light?), as well as the audio (definitely need a wind guard on the mic).

I'm also waiting for a new camera (Canon XL2) to arrive - last week all I had to shoot with was a Sony miniDV handycam. The battery died at the end (also getting a much needed second battery) so the last 30 seconds of the online video are highlights actually shot with a Hi-8 Sony camcorder.

I'd like to add cool graphics, but I don't really have the skillset to make it look like sportscenter. I was thinking of having an image of the two opposing teams' helmets with their names as an intro.

This week with an actual game to cover I'll also be able to get shots of the scoreboard, sounds of the marching band, and stadiums packed with fans.

So, any critiques/suggestions for improvement or shot selections? They really want me to be on the sideline, so the classic "pressbox" camera shot is out.

Thanks in advance!

This was an assignment for a film class I took for the spring semester. We had to write, shoot and edit a short film using super 8mm film. Learned a lot about the importance of pre-production. Check it out and let me know what you think!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MVKzOBfens

Thx

Walter

That was cool to watch. I like the look of the 8 mm film. Nice sound effects. Weak conclusion though.

Nice job with the greenscreen. I'm doing the same sort of deal right now with a bright green fabric. The first shot looks really cool. The second shot there is some mistakes.

Take a look at the attachment, the white arrow point to where the greenscreen is still visible and semi-transparent. It looks like you used a 4 point garbage matte or cropped the original video but the edge is still visible.

And my first thought was that he was standing in a bowling alley. The wood texture looks sort of strange.

Other than that it looks good.

The only thing is...greenscreen is usually used to achieve shots that are too expensive, dangerous or impossible to do practically (with the exeception of sin city)so when it comes to having a guy sitting in an office why not just film a guy in an office?. Static shots are always going to be easier to pull off using greenscreen than moving action shots so for a film to be shot using purely greenscreen you really need to test some action sequences.......your gonna need a lot of space and greenscreen material.

Sorry for being pessimistic its just my initial thoughts.

Andy.

Aron, When shooting football highlights from on the field, get down field more so you get them coming towards you, instead of running away from you. You'll get better highlights that way. Also if you can get a little tighter when following the play. That's gonna take some practice. You're on the right track.

Thanks for your tips, Mark. I tried shooting tighter at first, but as you said it's going to take some practice getting that down. I kept losing track of the ball - at night, looking through the viewfinder it's hard to pick out where it is, but I got better as I went along.

I did order a telephoto lens for this week's game, so that should help getting tight shots that are in focus. I hate using the digital zoom, but I had to go with it this time - I figured with the transfer to their website it would look a little pixelated anyways.

One good thing was that I was able to get shots from many different angles on the field, so at least now I have a better feel for what angles look good and what doesn't.

A regular game should be easier to shoot. During the scrimmage they would suddenly switch sides from offense to defense and I wouldn't have time to get all the way on the other side of the field before the next play.

Aron,

Are you able to get more elevation? I see these high school game highlights all the time on small stations here in Central Virginia and I think they all suffer from the on-field camera location.

However, if you are in the press box, it does make it difficult to get shots of them coming at you as Mark suggests.

Ross Hunter
Orange, VA

Aron,

Are you able to get more elevation? I see these high school game highlights all the time on small stations here in Central Virginia and I think they all suffer from the on-field camera location.

However, if you are in the press box, it does make it difficult to get shots of them coming at you as Mark suggests.

Ross Hunter
Orange, VA

Well, that's what the company wants - tighter shot, sideline-view action as opposed to the classic, elevated shot.

I flirted with the idea of bringing someone else to man a second camera from the stands so I could cut between the two, but with the quick turnaround that only increases the editing time for me. Going from one hour of game tape to 2 minutes is quite enough without adding another hour to it, especially since I then need to add graphics, music, and save it as a .mov file.

Check out our 3 minute scene: "Sleepless." Any feedback is very welcome.

Very nice work! smooth camera/editing and top notch lighting. Actress did a nice job and very realistic, but the male role didn't seem to meet up to her ability. His one line "i love you" didn't catch me like it could have. both of them on the bed scene was a little one the cheesy side, but i really liked the change back to reality when she realizes he isn't there.

All in all...VERY NICE. what camera are you shooting with, and how did you get the crash scene staged? i can tell this is not a "low budget" film but how much of a crew are you working with?

Good stuff there. Cut the music, and get down to the story, following a couple of guys through daily life and what happens to them.

If you show a gun, someones going to get shot!

Our short film Retribution made it into the semifinals of iFC's Assassin's Creed Contest. View it online and vote for us.

View it here: http://medialab.ifc.com/film_detail.jsp?film_id=5599&list=1

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1216/879903872_816af849bd.jpg (http://medialab.ifc.com/film_detail.jsp?film_id=5599&list=1)

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1105/934339662_822623a9c6.jpg (http://medialab.ifc.com/film_detail.jsp?film_id=5599&list=1)

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1379/1024415300_0363e99a8e.jpg (http://medialab.ifc.com/film_detail.jsp?film_id=5599&list=1)

Just watched your short....cool, very cool! Great cinematography, acting, and directing. Good luck!!!!!!

I posted my comments on YouTube but basically you should consider doing a high quality film transfer of your film original and then lay over the new transfer clips over the existing clips on your time line.

Suddenly you have a slick looking film demo that will stand apart versus doing the original shooting on DV.

Thanks for you insight Justin and Alessandro!

I totally agree with you Alessandro about the xfer method. I was dissapointed myself with the degradation in quality. I was thinking about sending my original footage to a lab for a transfer then re-editing it, but I think I will move on to another project. It was my first time shooting on film and our teacher suggested we xfer this way. It saved time and money but doesn't look as good as it could of. Thanks for viewing my film though I appreciate it!

That's one of the problems with the way film is taught. To keep the costs down, shortcuts are taken, which can be a good thing, but...

But then someone actually shoots a film with excellent exposures and they don't take their film to the next level and just make it look nice. I read in the credits that you shot Plus-X black and white.

Super-8 Plus-X black and white looks so good these days that it can pass for 90's 16mm, it's definitely broadcast quality as well. I believe that whenever one does a project that exhibits some level of skills it should be used as a demo piece for future job opportunities. Right now your film may miss the mark because of how it was transferred, and that seems like a waste.

However, I understand your desire to move on and do more. I don't know how much footage you shot but assuming you shot 5 or 6 Super-8 film cartridges you are probably looking at around 175 - 325 dollars for an amazing quality transfer.

Then all you would do is go into your NLE time line and replace the existing shots with the newly transfered version. It is a form of education to see what you orginally did and then see how much better it became after the new transfer.

One final advantage to retransferring your footage is you learn about the film transfer side of filmmaking at a relatively low cost and then that knowledge base will help you in the future should you shoot on film again.

Wow that was great. I agree with Tunde great cinematography, acting, and directing.

Alrighty folks, I think that it's about time to let you guys have a sneak peek into our current production, LETHAL ENGAGEMENT.

A little bit about the film: It's meant to be like the visual style of the Bourne movies. A man without a past must fight through a haze of forgetfulness and politics to save the one he loves, and to remember who and what he was. It will be released as four parts, or acts, and each act will be download-able from the site, in both HD and SD versions. More to come about that.

I'm not going to say any more than that, you'll just have to see it when they come out.

Attached is the promo pic for Act III

Alright. On to the previews. (Note: My FTP service is being weird and not letting me upload anything, so I opted for yousendit)

ACT II Preview in HD: http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=B77467C4058E1550

ACT II Preview in SD: http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=740028B449777C1F

ACT III Preview in HD: http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=EB998E5152399080

ACT III Preview in SD: http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=C3D861341C2E7438


Remember, these are just previews, and may not be how they will be in the final film. Teasers, if you will.

I will use this thread to post updates and eventually the final film.

Comments welcome.

Steven Bills

Ryan, there is a great potential for a story with what you're doing, but I agree with what the other guys are saying, its not really revealed yet. I realize this is just a trailer, but make sure your "doc" isn't just a bunch of thugs & gang bangers talking smack. You need to show the background of your subjects. I get the feeling you also need to identify your position on what you're seeing and filming... is it cool? tragic? hip? scary? pathetic? All docs are biased in the sense that the filmmaker chooses to tell a story, which is yours? I hope this isn't sounding harsh, because I think you're on the right track and have real potential.

Those kids, next time, get the camera down at their level, at least that's what I would do.

Ryan, be careful. Guys pulling out guns with silencer's on them, man, that is bad bad bad. Remember that people who are just "covering the story" get killed all the time. I would also consult a lawyer before you go any further. I'm pretty sure that taping illegal activity like that and just saying "hey, I'm just a filmmaker" can get you into trouble. I know its caused problems for people taping illegal car racing. In any event, being around guys with guns like that is not a good idea. Possibly a really great doc in the works, but proceed with caution! Cudos though for having the guts to get out there and shoot that. Didn't it freak you out a little?

That was funny as hell. Very nice!