UWOL 41 Illusions by Paul M_00 on Vimeo

Hi all, this was VERY last minute but though I'm appalled looking at the footage I needed to put something in. Too many times over the years I've stuck my hand up and never completed anything so this time I completed something - the concept I believe was good but the execution lacked - that's fine - I'm happy that I actually got it in.

I like the voice over, very thought provoking with the images, a bit dreamy and triggers my own memories of past good times, all good stuff.

Jim critiqued his own which is a great idea.

I think my concept and VO were okay but the visuals let me down,
the grass shot should have been done on a slider to give a smoother shot. The spider webs needed the pool stuff in the background moved to minimise distraction

I dislike hand held and yet used it here, I should have used a tripod and looked for more interesting angles.the 2nd lot of shots used identical framing which I should have changed.

a better intro & outro would have helped as well.

Hi Paul. I agree with Mark. Nice voice over and it does make a person think. I agree with you about hand held shooting which I'm terrible at. I use to always use a tripod, but lately have been guilty of being lazy and not using it and it shows. Glad you went for it and posted a video.

Gordon

Hi Paul, beautiful entry, I watched it, wrote down a few notes,then read the comments, tore up the notes as your own self critique roughly mirrored mine.

Very much enjoy watching, well done

Mick

Paul I think you're own reflections cover the areas to work on pretty well. And I know that feeling of doing things last minute and grappling whether I hate it enough to just not enter, or to at least get something finished on principal. I have entered far more rounds where I never finished, or didn't submit, than times I have actually completed an entry.

My thoughts were that the theme use was very good - including good examples from nature. Being last minute, a shorter video makes sense, and worked well.
As you identified; some more variety of shots/angles would help the video. Possibly using the passage of time to show the longer term repetitions (tides) would be a nice addition.
The narrative tied everything together well. There were just a few plosives in there (the jet of air from the mouth hitting the microphone element) which can usually be avoided by moving the mic a little to the side so it's not directly in front of the mouth.
An enjoyable entry, definitely worth submitting.

Hi Paul,

I haven't much to add to what has already been said. Your VO is great.
Thanks for sharing.

Paul, My notes don't add much to the comments already posted, but here they are anyway -
Very calming film, with the VO used to great effect to add to the sense of tranquility - on subject, well thought out film.

Paul,

I have to say, this is the same theme i did not complete. Great job and the voice over is awesome. the pace and Tone were perfect. If I do another serious long form video im going to get you on the voiceover.
I enjpyed the video footage too.

thanks for taking the time to sahare your video efforts.

Hi Dale, thx - I'd be happy to do VO for such a project - I do regular VO work now - my wife is complaining about the loos of her built-in wardrobe which I've converted to a booth - guess I'll have to build a proper one now.