I'll explain. I barely met someone, did a gig in covering a local youth sports event. I mentioned I do weddings etc, and that I like them. Well, the next day, this guy emails me saying he has a gig for me.. Whatever, I think to myself, we'll see. I take my time & don't respond. That afternoon, he calls me, and leaves a vm saying he has a wedding that he can no longer cover (WTF??) on October 25th and also mentions "Btw I don't know how much this lady's paying, so probably not much"... Well then I surely don't want it but more importantly I have a wedding that day already anyway. So that night the Mother of the groom calls me about the wedding?!!!

I called her back & said look, I barely know this guy, I cannot believe he is cancelling out you a month prior, I certainly do not operate that way, when I'm booked I'm booked. Period. But that I was scheduled for a wedding that day & this really isn't my issue. It was in Delaware & I do know a guy in Delaware who shot weddings but has been giving it up, anyway he had something with his daughter that day. I called her back and told her my contact was also unavailable and that I'm sorry, but I cannot do much more and if she has any issues to take it up with this other guy whom she originally scheduled. And that she also may want to post on Craigslist looking for someone. TBH she didn't seem thrilled with my response or suggestion but I just cannot get involved into this, as the deeper I go in hunting the more responsible I feel for the outcome & blame if it goes wrong. Also, if I do refer someone who I'm not confident enough in their ability I feel that too may come back to me if they fail/do a bad job/are late or delivery a crummy DVD edit.

To go with that, admittedly I don't know many wedding videographers, since I never work together with them. I have cards of some great Photogs, DJs, even Photobooths, but no videogs. Anyway, do you think I ultimately did the right thing? In some ways I kinda left them hanging. I did want to ask how much they were paying however I didn't want it to sound like a money issue for turning it down or not searching around, but if it was something ridiculously low I'm sure nobody would accept it just because its someone else's mess, plus it could be a learning factor for them that you get what you pay for. Again tho I'm not sure what they're paying (it could be decent) so it might not be a factor.

Thoughts?

Thoughts? Nope, you have no skin in this game, don't sweat it. the other guy stepped on it not you. If she gets upset at you that's her problem. You don't know her, never agreed to the job so she can't blame you at all. She needs to blame the other guy.
Now having said that, people today are crazy so keep a written record of the events as they transpired so if she tried to "sue" you (which I would doubt but who knows) or she tried to blast you on the interweb you can respond with the facts. Again this probably won't happen but today we all need to CYA!

people love to get the monkey off their back and on to yours - both the other video guy and the MOB tried it on and it sound like the MOB nearly succeeded - like Don says it's not your problem - don't take in on, the more you do the more responsible you become.

I used to be really bad at this taking on others problems but I'm getting good at saying no,

Thanks guys. Don I agree suing is unlikely, even a web review fail isn't likely either, but possible if the B7G got involved & wanted to ruin us. But again, I doubt they'll feel I'm to blame, the Mom seemed to understand sorta just seemed a bit let down at the end I couldn't come thru with anybody.

Every now & then I've seen bridal vendors close shop on the news & expos by news investigators (3 on Your Side etc) help the couples. Again, I highly doubt any of this, but I'm just trying to see it from outside eyes & how do I look intertwined in all this? It feels like a Coen Brothers movie that keeps unravelling, Fargo or Burn After Reading.. j/k

Honestly I wouldn't worry about it. Hell just about an hour ago I got a text from my niece by marriage whose wedding I did 10 years ago and she wanted to know if I could do a friends wedding in the next couple of months. I remaindered her I had retired this year and wasn't shooting anymore (99% true). I knew the next question...who do I know? My answer...NO ONE I could feel comfortable referring. she was fine with that and once again I had to send a message to everyone that I AM RETIRED from weddings for sure and frankly from most other work. So far no one is sueing me. ;-)

I AM RETIRED

I do like the sound of that.... maybe one day

Lol. Yeah Don. I think my bigger gripe was the level of unprofessionalism from this guy. Seemed fairly legit when I met him. Yet who cancels on a wedding?? (He seemed to indicate "I got another gig" in his vm?!). Then, to just pass it off onto someone else and give my direct ph# I felt was wrong. It's one thing to call around for her, as I feel he owes her that, finding a replacement. But don't just give her my ph# for your mess.

As we all know, there's her side, and his side, and the truth lies typically somewhere in the middle. I did write him a not so nice email about how A. Don't cancel on weddings. and B. Don't involve me into your mess. He wrote back & apologized & claimed she is a friend of a friend who casually mentioned it months ago about shooting it, to which he casually said he might be interested. Then she called him as if he was locked it. While there could be a little bit of truth to that, I find it coincidental it all basically occured the day after I met him & we exchanged cards.... and the fact I said I like shooting weddings. My guess is he doesn't & just hoped to pass it onto me.

As you know people hear what they want to hear and the mom probably "heard" 'sure I can do it....cheap' and the other guy probably heard 'hey I'd LOVE to do the wedding for someone I've never talked to....cheap'.
I wouldn't worry about it. (until the law suit papers come to your door) ;-)

I wouldn't worry about it. (until the law suit papers come to your door) ;-)

lol, or the local new investigation report about how I refused to help, or walked away from the job..

I'm laughing about this but make sure you give us your new address. You know the one in the Pa. state prison. ;-)

I also find this quite amazing as when I book a wedding I book it..end of story (unless I don't get paid of course, but my bookings are only confirmed when the money is in the bank)

However being part of a Facebook bridal group I am still amazed at posts that come up saying "My photog has bailed on me 3 weeks before the wedding ..any suggestions?" Surely these guys are not professionals? maybe just weekend warriors? It seems nowdays that it quite OK to get money from a bride and then dump her and return the cash simply because you got a better deal or you just didn't feel like working that weekend.

I'm so surprised that people like this actually stay in business ..don't they have any ethics??

Don? I'm sure you would haul out your gear for immediate family weddings wouldn't you or does retired mean retired for everybody?

Chris

Chris,
Even IF I had any relatives that were unmarried now and I was asked to video the wedding I wouldn't do it.
I've been doing a little bit of sit down type interviews and that's about it and even those have been very limited. I'm about ready to post all of my gear and start selling it off. I'll keep a DSLR and my small LED lights along with my Tascam DR-05 with a lav but honestly that's because I want to have something for personal use not to mention I know I'd get nothing for that stuff so I suppose that means I am retired. It does get boring but after all the years of busting my ass to make a living I finally decided to take a little time to smell the roses as it were and do some living. Trips are being planned my wife will be retiring in a year or so, we'll dump the house and off we'll go...3 to 6 months at a crack ( I hope)
After my health issue almost exactly 1 year ago the decision was easy to make. NO MORE VIDEO! What do we want? TO LIVE LIFE! When do we want it? NOW! ;-)

Hi Don

Good for you!! Yeah dump the JVC keep the stills camera but don't forget to grab yourself a little action cam when you are on the road. I even use mine at weddings but it will come into it's own in December when I'm off to the Cocos Keeling Islands for a week of diving and a lot a filming with my little SJ4000 action cam underwater. No cell phone coverage, no TV, no weddings no customers. I'll almost feel like a Don Bloom!!

Chris

Thanks Chris...I'm doing some odds and ends on my house just to keep me busy, my cameras haven't been run for a while and I'm hoping some of the stuff is still worth a few bucks.
Chris Hurd is going to dislike me for this but I feel like I should press the "like" button. ;-)

Hey Don -

Find yourself a nice small camera that's fun to shoot with (Sony RX100 series and RX10 are personal faves) and requires minimal "support" and "grip" gear (maybe a nice footed monopod?), sell most everything else, it'll be very freeing, but you can ENJOY photography and videography again... that's a pretty good feeling, even if you aren't asking to be paid for it!

You should have something nice to document your coming adventures!