View Full Version : DVC3, A camera to die for - feedback


Fredrik-Larsson
September 19th, 2005, 09:43 AM
I'm the creator of "A camera to die for" and I would love to have your feedback on it. I have noted that I need a dolly and a good microphone to get good dialogue. My acting was also real lame on several parts. This was caused by me not having a proper list of what to shoot. Curse my laziness!

I also would like to know what you think about our english. We are both from sweden but is it very notable or is it just that there is something or don't you notice it at all?

And as a first time viewer, do you get that it's a trailer for a "real" movie (which obviously doesn't exists :) )?

Well, that's all I come up with at the moment... lookin' forward for your opinions.

EDIT:
Windows Media version http://www.apollologic.com/movies/003/a_camera_to_die_for.wmv

Quicktime version is available at http://www.apollologic.com/movies/003/a_camera_to_die_for.mov

Sean McHenry
September 19th, 2005, 10:07 AM
Goods job. I liked the approach. Good idea using a trailer as the vehicle to deliver a short. On the accents, didn't initially notice anything other than there was a bit of one. Completly understandable. Sounded fine to me. I actually couldn't make out the accent. I was thinking New Zealand for a while but that wasn't it.

Good show.

Hope you like mine when it makes it out.

Sean McHenry

Hugo Pinto
September 19th, 2005, 10:24 AM
Fredrik,

I quite liked the concept, and the way in which it was delivered. Light, fun to watch, well cut. I would probably make a different ending, but that's precisely whi this is your film and not mine, right?

As for your English speaking, I just hope mine is as understandable as you're: I did two voice-over lines for my short, and I'm praying they are understandable.

I also found out that the more you plan ahead, the less extra footage you have to shoot. I know that because I didn't have time to plan ahead, and shot almost by instinct, so mine is not a good example :)

Nice work.

Hugo

Josh Johnson
September 19th, 2005, 10:32 AM
I thought it was a cool concept. Good job.

As for the english, I didn't really even pay attention to it, so it must have been ok. On my short, my 8 year old has a tendancy to talk too fast and mumble words together. So no one probably understands him and we are from Ohio relocated to NC. (I guess he should have a southern accent!!!)

Anyway, I liked it.

-Josh

Meryem Ersoz
September 19th, 2005, 11:51 AM
what i like about this film in particular is that it is working with a polished "look" or aesthetic. the developing story seems kind of canned, like i've seen this one before, but from an aesthetic standpoint, your videos always look fabulous. very mature and professional and great texture.

Fredrik-Larsson
September 19th, 2005, 12:35 PM
I would probably make a different ending, but that's precisely whi this is your film and not mine, right?

I love to hear about it. I was thinking of just showing a gun and then the end-text but I thought this would look kind of cool.

Lorinda Norton
September 19th, 2005, 12:37 PM
This was a fun little thriller, partly because there was something "different" about the accents. But there was sure nothing wrong with the English!

Nice job.

And I know who lost the duel! LOL! Hint: If you don't let the slide snap back the pistol doesn't chamber a round. ;)

Hugo Pinto
September 19th, 2005, 12:44 PM
Wow Lorinda, that's field-proven knowledge of weaponry.

Subliminal message for the Judges? ;)

Fredrik, yap, that was pretty much one of my hipotesis for an alternate ending as well. OR, showing a gun nearing by someone's head, and letting that person not being exactly who we were expecting to be (the killer, maybe?).

Plenty of hipotesis. I loved your choice, anyway.

Hugo

Fredrik-Larsson
September 19th, 2005, 12:46 PM
And I know who lost the duel! LOL! Hint: If you don't let the slide snap back the pistol doesn't chamber a round. ;)

Ha ha ha!!! Good one! I know many who have asked what will happen and why can't he go to the police. All I say is that you have to watch the movie :) But your point is very good. But maybe he did that earlier... you just have to see the movie to find out... ;)

Tyler Baptist
September 19th, 2005, 01:46 PM
When's the 'full movie' coming out? Haha. Good approach with the short. It was well cut, and flowed quite nicely. And your English was fine. The trailer aspect was a cool idea.

Bradley L Marlow
September 19th, 2005, 01:46 PM
Wonderful job Fredrik!

I really enjoyed this film and how you put it together. Yes...the trailer concept was very nice.

I thought your english was terrific and had no problems with the accent whatsoever. Right down to "...it ends to f@#*in' day!"...lol!

Am I correct in the assumption that those quick cuts with the phone calls might actually represent TWO separate calls? Perhaps the first call he made was to the police...cut...second call "You know I can't go to the police!" was to someone else. Might also explain why the smoking man knew so much about the camera (since we didn't actually see the smoking man observing your character taking those pictures)

Fun times!

Fredrik-Larsson
September 19th, 2005, 02:07 PM
Well the movie is out as soon as I get the financing together which probably means.. never.. :)

The calls would probably be to someone close. In the scene where I say "it ends today" I actually continued the call and said "love you to mum, bye". So he could have called his mother... and it could have been his mother who sold him out... I think the trailer created more questions than answers and it inspired to possible sidestories.

The idea for a trailer I got from one the moderator who did that say no to human-alien mating campaign. I thought it would be a fun idea to practice my skills in a "fake" movie.

It takes a lot of training to learn this art of movie-making.. :)

Michael Wisniewski
September 19th, 2005, 02:31 PM
I like the accent, it makes the character appealing and really stand out. Don't be afraid to use it.

fyi: When I first saw it, I was wondering if you were faking the accent. It's very funny that it's real. Well you know how Americans are about accents! Once again, don't be afraid to use it, it works well.

Pros:
Cinematography was fine. Editing and music were good, and kept me interested, I like the way you sped up the cuts when the action got going. Music was good and matched.

Cons:
Story - too little to really build a good story, wanted more info on why he was being chased, who was the other guy? ... not enough to spoil the trailer, but enough to make me more interested in what's going on. The different scenes were not connected well enough to have a smooth, interesting story. Too disjointed. fyi: If the story is not really written yet, you could use a motiv (an un-related image that's used solely to connect each set of scenes) to make it flow more smoothly.

Acting: okay, you're acting is cheezy, but you've got something there, don't be afraid to let go and develop it, you're personality and the accent made the character appealing.

Sean McHenry
September 19th, 2005, 03:31 PM
Yes, I agree a little accent helps with my interest. Wait till you hear my cheesy fake accent in my short.

And whats up with Lorinda and her knowledge of handguns? Working for the MI5 on the side? "Shooting video by day, wanted killers by night."

Sean

Richard Zlamany
September 19th, 2005, 07:55 PM
Cool short. I like the music.

Lorinda Norton
September 19th, 2005, 08:01 PM
And whats up with Lorinda and her knowledge of handguns? Working for the MI5 on the side? "Shooting video by day, wanted killers by night."

LOL! I'll never tell, Sean. We've all gotta have secrets. Oh, wait! That was DVC2. ;) That quote of yours---sounds a bit like a movie!

Fredrik, I forgot to mention how much I liked your stairway shots. Good pacing, I thought.

Sean Buck
September 20th, 2005, 12:55 PM
Good job Fredrik. I thought your english was very good. You speak better than most of the people in Los Angeles. The idea of a trailer was great. Good luck!

Jonathan Jones
September 21st, 2005, 03:03 PM
Howdy Fredrik,
I really liked your movie, I thought it was a pretty creative idea to present it as a movie trailer - good stuff. I thought the interior colors while your were on the first phone call were especially catching and looked great as well as your general composition throughout. I really liked your use of cuts while moving down the stairway.

The only two things that stood out for me was that it appears to me that the window you shoot the photos through does not appear to be the same window from the ground level looking up as it is from the interior walking to and from the window (3 pane from inside - 2 pane from outside). Maybe I am wrong on that one, but it stood out for me and perhaps calls for a shifted framing from the inside shot.

The other thing would probably have involved some additional variation in shots while introducing the 'bad guy' who I assume is the killer that was photographed. Maybe using 1 or 2 establishing shots of him walking, but some of the other cuts could have involved him rifling through the the apartment or leering through the stairwell (basically trailing the escape route of our hero) Just a few thoughts, but I still very much enjoyed it. I especially liked your choice of music - it was simple and perfect for an action movie trailer - it propelled the action along and worked quite well.

Well done.
-Jon

Fredrik-Larsson
September 21st, 2005, 03:19 PM
it appears to me that the window you shoot the photos through does not appear to be the same window

The other thing would probably have involved some additional variation in shots while introducing the 'bad guy'

I especially liked your choice of music - it was simple and perfect for an action movie trailer - it propelled the action along and worked quite well.
*busted* yes, they are completely different windows. The real window leads to a noisy and big street and we used that one towards the backyard. This is where the hunting scene also takes place.

Yeah, you are probably right about the bad guy. Maybe some kind of connecting scene between what the bad guy do or so.

Thanks. They are songs that I did earlier this year which I just cutted to fit the trailer. I were going to do new stuff but I was very late and had been sick and the "creativity" wasn't at the peak so I took the songs I thought could fit perfectly. And they did.

Jeff Sayre
September 22nd, 2005, 01:13 PM
Bravo, Fredrik! You are one of my newest, up and coming favorite film makers. I was not sure how you were going to pull off another wonderful short like the one you entered in DVC2 and was wondering if you could successfully go form documentary style to fictional style. The answer is you did so very well.

I loved the movie from the start of the great music. I got a big laugh out of your reference to your DVC2 short ["Creator of Ale is Stoned]. The shots, pacing, and even your acting were believable to me. In fact, I was impressed with your English. It almost sounded a like a british cockney accent at times.

Great job as usual!