Marco Wagner
December 8th, 2011, 04:57 PM
I joined this forum almost 7 years ago. What a ride it has been. When I first caught the filmmaking bug I was using a hi8 camera and Premiere 4. In a very short time I was able to parlay my talent into gigs. My first gig had me filming stars like Vivica Fox, Charles Barkley, and many other semi-well-known celebs. My inventory of equipment went nuts. I went from a hi8 to a few Canon XL1Ses, Sony VX series, HVR series, light kits, audio kits, green screens, and a lot of unnecessary stuff. I'm not sure what my goal was at the time, I think it went something like "I want to work on films as a shooter or director or...."
After a couple years I was doing all sorts of paid gigs, Hoover Dam, Pop Warner, corporate videos, weddings, shows, music videos, and misc events - I was even doing DVC and UWOL challenges. It was never full time money but it was full time work along with my regular job. I was having a lot of fun but didn't seem to get any closer to my non-specific goal. We started making our own serious projects in an attempt to get "known". It was a blast and I'll never regret or forget it. But it was hard sometimes, very hard. The industry as a whole will chew you up and spit your soul to the ground. People flake, projects get cancelled, economy crashes, greed happens, and life changes.
My last project, almost a full year ago now, was cancelled for several reasons beyond my control. I wasn't happy at all. I spent many long hours pre-editing, filming, writing, building, etc. I spent a lot of money. It was to be the "one hit" we thought would get us noticed. Anyone who saw the concept trailers were truly amazed and excited...we even had a well known director looking at the script.
As time went on, more and more of the "crew" obtained lives or had changes in life that no longer included being a part of the crew. It sucks. I found myself completely alone after the film was cancelled. Then in the months after the "crash of the US economy" I found myself selling off equipment to survive. I went from probably $10k in equipment to about $700 - One very small camera and an edit machine. Full circle I guess you would call it.
Now I sit in front of empty drives and a dusty camera. The motivation and will are gone but my dreams and mentality is still very much there. I want to make a new project but I seem to have this mental block now. It's been nearly a year and my creativity is dry as a bone in the desert. I've become the couch potato I made fun of not a year or so earlier... Today, this very minute I've realized this and want to help anyone else (newbies or vets) with a similar story get past this.
I started a new job a month ago and a co-worker is going to film school... It is both awesome and sad at the same time for me. I want so much to have that feeling again. It is great to see someone else learn and go through what I went through. This is what brings me here to this forum, where I started so many years ago. I want that initial spark back. I want to de-jade. So take what you will from my story and bullet points below...add your own...
To not drive yourself mad:
1. Realize that you may NEVER get noticed or become some smash hit filmmaker but NEVER stop trying.
2. Don't get lost in the mechanics and equipment. Always rely on your story and how you will visually present it. Even the crappiest of equipment can still capture your heart and soul in a story.
3. Do it for the right reasons, not for the prospect of money or fame, but for the love of moving pictures and storylines.
4. Never commit to anything you have serious internal doubts about. You will screw yourself mentally and rob from someone else who can follow through.
5. Have specific goals to work toward.
6. It's okay to take a break, no matter how long, and reboot your life...
With that being said I am here now, full circle, trying to live the words I speak. Stella is trying to get her groove back dammit! Help me and others... and GO!
After a couple years I was doing all sorts of paid gigs, Hoover Dam, Pop Warner, corporate videos, weddings, shows, music videos, and misc events - I was even doing DVC and UWOL challenges. It was never full time money but it was full time work along with my regular job. I was having a lot of fun but didn't seem to get any closer to my non-specific goal. We started making our own serious projects in an attempt to get "known". It was a blast and I'll never regret or forget it. But it was hard sometimes, very hard. The industry as a whole will chew you up and spit your soul to the ground. People flake, projects get cancelled, economy crashes, greed happens, and life changes.
My last project, almost a full year ago now, was cancelled for several reasons beyond my control. I wasn't happy at all. I spent many long hours pre-editing, filming, writing, building, etc. I spent a lot of money. It was to be the "one hit" we thought would get us noticed. Anyone who saw the concept trailers were truly amazed and excited...we even had a well known director looking at the script.
As time went on, more and more of the "crew" obtained lives or had changes in life that no longer included being a part of the crew. It sucks. I found myself completely alone after the film was cancelled. Then in the months after the "crash of the US economy" I found myself selling off equipment to survive. I went from probably $10k in equipment to about $700 - One very small camera and an edit machine. Full circle I guess you would call it.
Now I sit in front of empty drives and a dusty camera. The motivation and will are gone but my dreams and mentality is still very much there. I want to make a new project but I seem to have this mental block now. It's been nearly a year and my creativity is dry as a bone in the desert. I've become the couch potato I made fun of not a year or so earlier... Today, this very minute I've realized this and want to help anyone else (newbies or vets) with a similar story get past this.
I started a new job a month ago and a co-worker is going to film school... It is both awesome and sad at the same time for me. I want so much to have that feeling again. It is great to see someone else learn and go through what I went through. This is what brings me here to this forum, where I started so many years ago. I want that initial spark back. I want to de-jade. So take what you will from my story and bullet points below...add your own...
To not drive yourself mad:
1. Realize that you may NEVER get noticed or become some smash hit filmmaker but NEVER stop trying.
2. Don't get lost in the mechanics and equipment. Always rely on your story and how you will visually present it. Even the crappiest of equipment can still capture your heart and soul in a story.
3. Do it for the right reasons, not for the prospect of money or fame, but for the love of moving pictures and storylines.
4. Never commit to anything you have serious internal doubts about. You will screw yourself mentally and rob from someone else who can follow through.
5. Have specific goals to work toward.
6. It's okay to take a break, no matter how long, and reboot your life...
With that being said I am here now, full circle, trying to live the words I speak. Stella is trying to get her groove back dammit! Help me and others... and GO!