Here's the feedback thread for my 2010 DVC/UWOL entry, "Meat"

MEAT - DVC/UWOL Christmas Charity contest 2010 entry on Vimeo

Firstly, many thanks to Dylan, Lorinda and Guy for giving us the encouragement to get these films made...


SPOILERS AHEAD...

As others have said, "Perspective" is a fun theme but I also found it a bit of a challenge to come up with a story that was appropriate and that I felt was any good/ that I could do justice to. I kept oscillating between bad science fiction and mawkish sentimentality. Then I just thought what the hell and wrote a script about a scientist who dabbles in the black arts and gets his arm chopped off.

Seriously, I think the script I ended up shooting was the fourth of fifth entirely separate idea I'd written for this competition. I did want to go down a literal route rather than a metaphorical one, as part of the challenge for me with a theme this broad was to see how literally I could stick to it! I spend so much time editing other's scripts and working with the framework of their world that my mind is happier the more arbitrary the restrictions, even if they're self imposed ones.


Apologies if my film ended up being a bit, well, horrible - my boss had just given me a book on 1950's horror comics filled with wonderfully lurid images and stories that turned so fast it made your head spin. This may have had an effect, as, at the risk of sounding terribly pretentious, did an essay on "Terror" versus "Horror." Apparently Shelley et al thought the art was in scaring the bejesus out of people with the anticipation, not the execution. Or the dismembering, or the defenestration etc. etc. etc. ;) I'm also indebted to H.P. Lovecraft's "Herbert West, Re-animator" for a lot of the tone of the piece, although if I ever write anything a tenth as well as him I'll probably fall down dead on the spot in shock.


As far as the look of the thing went, I tried to make it as seedy as possible in a Mario Bava circa "Twitch of the Death Nerve" kind of way. Quite dark with lots of odd semi-pov shots etc...


I'm heavily indebted to Vyvyan, Alfred, Edward, Mum and Dad and David for all their hard work and for indulging my semi literate ravings. Hopefully we ended up with a fun little cautionary tale.

Hey Henry,

I really enjoyed watching your entry. Part of it stems from my own twisted reading habits (my father's trash comics, one of which memorably had giant alien cockroaches doing unspeakable things to buxom maidens, or an Alan Moore comic I just received, "Hypothetical Lizard", which is told from the point of view of a magician's whore whose brain's hemispheres have been severed so she can keep the mystical secrets she is privy to, and who watches a sexually confusing couple break up then assume each other's identities in a bizarre story of betrayal -- I think you'd like Alan Moore.)

Your story, therefore, was welcome and recalled many little ancient ghost stories I've read....

Now, bravo, because you were ambitious enough to do the only period film I can remember from any DVChallenge. Your main actor nicely personified a 19th century physician, and his voice over held nothing back while maintaining the clipped accent needed. I was amused to see we both went for narrated voice-overs (in my case, partly because I didn't have the actors on hand to shoot an expository scene).

The set-up was nice, and I was curious to see what the black-magic perspective would have given the character once the rope burned. So, while the twist was nice (though because we all rely on just a couple of actors I deduced early on he'd be the source of the "fresh meat"), I would have liked more of a second act to heighten tensions and draw out his helplessness.... A POV camera outside in the streets with him saying he recognised the road, etc... The sudden bursting in of the second character seemed a little too sudden, and not quite menacing enough, though he put in a good performance and his saw was suitably old.

You're obviously enjoying your camera, getting clean, low-light footage that was noticeably better than for your last entry (and how many lux is that? I counted a dozen candles...) The music was good.

One off-note (IMHO only) was the titles -- you used the same modern font with disappearing letters in your last entry, and you have the same on your website. It's a nice effect, but felt too modern for this film. An older font and style could have been better.... (Something Hammer House of Horror-ish maybe?)

But great work -- you nailed it with good atmosphere, good acting, good angles, good soundtrack, and a creepy ending.

Henry, I LOVED YOUR FILM!
It was great! Coincidentally I'm also a great H.P.Lovecraft fan and I immediately noticed the style. :)

Great humour and acting, great camera work.
One comment - I thought it a bit too ridiculous when that other scientist came into the room and immediately started sawing off the arm. Why should he do such a thing to his collegue? :D
But things like these make life interesting. :)

Many thanks for taking the time to watch and for the kind comments, I'm so glad you both liked it.

Marc,

Alan Moore is indeed great fun. Very much a fan of Mr Hyde in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Especially for what he does to H.G. Well's aliens...

A longer second act would have been interesting. I did consider it but I'm afraid that time constraints reared their ugly head - I only had two hours with the actors on the day before they both left for foreign climes. There was also another reason as I explain below to Andris...

The cam isn't quite the low light monster it will be when I can finally afford to put a 1.4 or 1.8 prime on it, but I can get away with murder compared to the XH-A1 even with the f3.5 kit lens. There were indeed 12 candles, although I did cheat and bounce a little videolight off the ceiling as well ;)

My boss again gave up a fair chunk of his weekend to do the soundtrack, for which I'm very grateful. It does seem to make a difference.

Agreed re: the titles.

Andris,

It is tremendously good fun creating something this ghoulish! The idea with the ending was that Johnson had come to cut Benjamin up for parts anyway and it was just Benjamin's misfortune to have been conducting the ritual at the same time. As to why Johnson did it, my hope was that the speed of the twist would feel like an old horror comic, ie: a little faster than allowed for by the character development!

Henry

Henry, as someone who doesn't watch films of this nature so can't call it "esque" of any kind all I can say is...it was creepy. :)

The cinematic feel of this film immediately elevated it to a very high level, so it had nowhere to go but downhill; yet, your story, abbreviated as it had to be, kept it at that high level. I absolutely loved your set--perfect in my eyes. Your actors did a marvelous job, direction was excellent. All around just a very fine film!

That's my first impression. Id like to revisit it later and come back with more.

Henry,
I found this darkly hilarious. I nearly cried at the very end I was laughing so hard. I'm not so familiar with Lovecraft, but the Re-animator films were full of this type of horrible comedy. So I can definitely see a connection there.

Other than the "punchline" I thought you executed this extremely well. The set was simple, yet it made your time period immediately obvious, as did your actor who was really very good. (It's hard enough to find somewhat naturalistic actors, let alone one's who can do a decent accent.)

I liked the mix of narration and music. You blended them well.

I can't think of any criticisms at the moment. I think this could easily be fleshed out into something larger if you wanted to. I think it works the way it is, as a short dark, funny video. However, if you wanted to flesh out the characters, you could turn into something more quite easily I believe.

Think I'm getting on top of the tax returns so I've got a bit more time. Sorry for the brevity of my earlier reply but I was desperately searching for what on earth I'd done with June 2009.

Thank you all for taking the time to watch and give feedback and for saying such nice things. The gentle constructive criticism and supportive atmosphere I've encountered the last couple of competitions from everyone involved has been lovely.

The set was fun to do. My mother had an absolute ball shoving everything Victorian that we owned into the one room and making it look like a student digs circa 1850, while I got to feel like a mini Ridley Scott wandering in next door from my storyboarding every couple of hours and giving "helpful" comments. What we couldn't find we managed to source from DIY stores and bric-a-brac shops. Dad even managed to dig out one of his great grandfather's fountain pens and make it work for Vyvyan to write with.

Ed did a fantastic job with the boom (especially considering he was holding it fully extended most of the time and had to make do without a shock mount so the mic would have picked up ANY movement he made), so all credit to him for the sound and as already mentioned the boss was an absolute trooper coming up with the music between me handing him a rough edit saturday evening and arriving back at the office sunday morning.

It's great that everyone thinks it looks so good and I think it's *ahem* roughly the way I wanted it but I have to confess that if there's anything I'm taking away from this it's that I need to try and jerry rig a monitor out of a car tv or satnavv, build myself a couple of softboxes and get hold of a china ball...

Vyvyan and Alfred did an excellent job at very short notice - neither of them had seen the script until the night before the shoot. It was a lot of fun as well. I'll try and post up one of the outtakes in particular tmrw as it corpsed everyone in the room for about five minutes.

Oh, and Cole, it's so worth tracking down the original Herbert West, Re-Animator short story by Lovecraft. Very different from the films in setting but a similar tone and one of the most darkly humorous things I've ever read. Maybe I'll come back to these characters in another form. I don't think I'm quite done with them yet.

Now where in the name of all that is Holy did I leave March 2010...

Oh and Lorinda, I don't watch films like this very often either. They scare the bejesus out of me too ;)

Hi Henry,

I like what you produced here. Had to watch it again right away.
And I agree about what has been said already.

Well done!

Thanks, Trond :)

Hi Henry,

Your ability to portray the mood with nicely contrasting low light really made it feel exactly like a candlelit ambience. I especially liked the way you allowed the camera to play on the actor's face in this warm soft light. Believe it or not, I am actually old enough that when I was a young student we had ink-wells in our desks and used straight pens constantly dipping in the ink well for more ink for our writing. The nibs were not nearly as elegant as the nib on the pen you showed, although the writing was just as blotchy because the nibs caught on the fibre of the paper unless you were really careful.

What fun to recall some of that. Thank you.

Alan

Many thanks for the kind words, Alan and for taking the time to watch and give feedback. It's much appreciated.

I did the best I could with the lighting. Really glad you liked it. It's an area where I'm going to keep pushing myself to improve though - I think I can jerry rig a couple of bits and pieces for next time that will allow me to keep a shallower depth of field in the wide shots.

I'll pass on your compliments about the pen to my Dad. He's got a couple from that era and is incredibly fond of them. I was very touched that he let Vyvyan write with it. Personally I have to say that I infinitely prefer fountain pens to their more "modern" equivalents. Writing with them is so much more enjoyable...

Henry,
You have made a good cinematic video. The whole atmosphere, even the speaking voice, brings the viewer back in former times. I know it is a lot of work behind it. You are a clever guy.
I am already waiting for a longer historical film-drama from you and your partners.

Finally! I've been waiting to watch your film using a headset in order to get the full impact. WOW...did I ever get it.

Henry, this is the complete package: A marriage of theme, writing and technical achievement that exemplifies cinema. You are truly an artist whose work matures with every effort. Looking forward to your next film!

Thank you very much, Finn-Erik, for saying such nice things. I really enjoyed your film immensely and am glad you enjoyed mine! Half the fun of this competition is the support we give each others efforts...

I've been a bit nervous to venture outside of the horror genre with my short films, which is silly because I edit scripts and make music videos in other genres all the time, but somehow getting behind the camera for something which is entirely (or at least mostly!) my vision makes me want to retreat to an area of filmmaking where I feel comfortable. And I think it might be time to step away from that a little.

I really enjoyed making something with a more "period" feel. The big thing for me with this piece was making sure that the audio worked, as it's an area I've often neglected in my previous shorts. I think next time I might try and challenge myself narratively as well. It would be quite fun seeing if I can do science fiction on a zero budget!

Henry

As others have already said, the imagery and sound were of the highest caliber. A very well done piece.

I'd concur that there seems to be some small bit missing when Johnson enters -- if he was going to dispatch his victim, would he have brought a weapon along, or did he somehow know that he would meet no resistance and everything he needed to finish his grisly work was already at hand? But having suffered under time constraints in my own project, I'm entirely sympathetic with your explanation that there wasn't time to, uh, flesh this all out.
;-)

In the end, I must say that even if circumstances weren't rushed, this was beautifully done.

We had a lot of fun with the audio, Lorinda. Well, it was fun for me and Ed but probably not so much for poor Vyvyan having the boom trailing behind his hand repeatedly to get wild tracks of the pen scratching on the paper...

Audio is something that I've neglected in my previous shorts, as I said in my reply to Finn-Erik, and so with this one I bit the bullet, bought a boom pole, an extended XLR cable and made sure that I had someone who knew what they were doing manning the sound. I ended up spending most of Sunday not doing the grade, as I thought I would, but adjusting audio levels. I'm so glad you think it paid off. I did the final mix through a set of closed cans so headphones probably would be the optimal listening experience :)

It's been a wonderful competition - everyone seems to have upped their game for occasion, and I can't wait to participate in the next one.

Many thanks for watching Pete, I'm so glad you like the film.

I fear I may have shorthanded the area of the story you mentioned slightly. Johnson's character did enter carrying the saw wrapped up in cloth and immediately put it down on the side bench, but I was worried that his entrance took too long and wanted to get a reaction shot from Benjamin so that we understood the entrance was unexpected and a genuine shock to him. I may have cut Johnson putting the saw "package" down a little short as a result.

Good pun by the way, reminded me of the awful take we had where we were shooting the ECU of the saw heading towards Benjamin's hand and I yelled "cut" without thinking. There was a momentary pause before I heard a desperate cry of "DON'T CUT!" from the sound man ;)

I'm a sucker for quasi-Victorian gothic...great mood piece. Agree that the reveal is a little out of pace with the rest of the story, which has a somewhat slower leisurely unfolding....

Many thanks for taking the time to watch and comment Meryem. So glad you liked the film.

I'm afraid that the pacing of the reveal itself was a deliberate decision designed to ape the fast, almost too frenzied last minute reveals of the short stories/ horror comics the script was riffing off. I'm sorry it didn't work so well for you.

Henry

henry,

First, the filming and technical aspects were terrific!!!! actually kind of awesome.


I am not a horror genra type but I will watch them at times. While I enjoyed this and i watched it two times I am missing a couple things (I just may be thick about this).
first, did the colored flame signify toxic gas to knock him out?

Second, who was doing the screaming, "Oh God", and if that was the guy with the saw then why??

to be honest as much as I love the way you filmed it I felt slightly confused after two viewings.

No doubt your goal to make a dark film was fully achieved. I just needed a few more facts/shots to make it complete for me.

Please note I very much enjoyed watching it and thank you for all your efforts!!!

Many thanks for all your kind words, Dale.

The story runs something like this:

BENJAMIN and JOHNSON are both medical students. BENJAMIN is having trouble obtaining cadavers for his studies. JOHNSON is not.

BENJAMIN resorts to black magic in desperation. He enwtines a rope with a strand of JOHNSON's hair. When the rope is lit BENJAMIN will be able to see through JOHNSON's eyes for as long as it burns, hopefully finding out where JOHNSON gets his cadavers from.

As BENJAMIN is about to light the rope JOHNSON bursts into the room unexpectedly. It becomes clear that JOHNSON has been murdering people and using their bodies for his research, and JOHNSON now intends to kill BENJAMIN for the same purpose.

As JOHNSON steps towards BENJAMIN the rope catches light in the flame and, the spell completed, BENJAMIN's mind leaves his body and travels into JOHNSON. BENJAMIN is powerless to do anything other than watch through JOHNSON's eyes as JOHNSON gets ready to chop up his helpless body for parts.

Henry,

Ok, I now get the "Oh no"" as he seees himself getting hacked. Boy you picked a rreally difficult one to do!!!!! Grreat idea though!!!! I was a little slow on this one!!!!

I will go back and watch it for the third time!!!!

No worries, Dale. Glad you liked it :)