As time goes on, I'm starting to see that many couples either don't care about or don't remember any extra efforts we go through on their wedding day. For example, our photographer friends once went to the store and purchased make-up for the mother of the bride because she had forgotten hers. By the time the photos were delivered, the clients had totally forgotten about it. We've noticed similar things. At the end of the night the bride and groom are often full of alcohol and excitement, and they come up to us, remarking about how we went above and beyond for them etc. A few weeks later, they are often e-mailing, pushing for their videos to be finished ahead of schedule.

Is this pretty typical, or do some bride & grooms actually remember nice things you do for them on the day of their wedding?

One last example. A few weddings ago I witnessed something unusual. About half way through the photoshoot, the bride and groom started talking about how tired and hot they felt (it was one of the hottest days of the summer). Upon hearing this, the independent photographer pulled out a cooler filled with soda, Red Bull, and bottles of water. He had enough for their entire wedding party. It blew the bride and groom away. They were extremely impressed. During the moment, I thought we should start doing that. However, by the end of the night the bride and groom seemed to have completely forgotten about it. If anything, they treated us better than the photographer, despite his good deed.

Does anyone have any positive experiences, where the bride and groom remembered something you did that went above and beyond what was expected?

I recently went above and beyond.. The hairdresser had a 4 week old who was being nursed by all the bridesmaids until they got dressed, the mother put the child in a harness in front of her and proceeded to use hair spray and curling wands etc - the babe was screaming it's lungs out and my 2nd camera had returned from the boys so I played granddad and nursed the child while the brides hair was finished.

naturally my 2nd camera, with a huge grin on his face shot some footage and the bride said she wanted to see that in the finished product!

to answer your question I think while couples might not remember exactly what you did at the time, they remember you positively - at least I hope so

Kevin, I think you might have been very unlucky. All the clients I've ever had - even one who incurred extra cost for a re-edit of a re-edit (driven by her mother) have appreciated our efforts.

Some people wave when you let them cross the road in front of you, others simply walk on. I hope your situation's no different.

Anyway, my guess that what you do is in your nature, not done for what you might get. I'd like to think we're the same

Well I have been about to film a first dance when the Dj had forgotten the first dance song. ( of all the things he could do ) I then went in the hotel office, downloaded the song from Itunes ( 99p) and got it onto an i pod. Needless to say they said thank you at the time but after DVD delivery it was a simple " thank you very much for a wonderfully made DVD. I feel like I should have added the 99p on top

Luke

I'm a photographer (ducks for cover), but basically, yes, same here. A bit of champagne and I'm their best friend. Many times the bride will hug me when it's time to leave. I think it's just emotions and alcohol.

As far as going above and beyond, I think it's a good practice that will eventually come back to you in referrals, even if the client seems to forget.

Jason, I'm new here, but I think it doesn't matter if you do photo, video, etc., we're all in this industry together, so hopefully you'll feel free to share without ducking for cover.

I agree with you Philip, we do these things because it's in our nature and we want the very best for our clients on their wedding day. Also, because of our experience with weddings, we're often able to solve problems that family members might not know how to address (e.g. Luke's heroic rescue of the first dance!).