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Hey Brendan,
When you say you're "pretty sure" he captured the Bouqet/Garter toss, does that mean he told you that he got it? Remember, if he is doing a promotional video for the band, I'm pretty sure he is focused on the BAND because that is what he is there for. If he didn't, then you will have to come clean with the couple explaining to them what happened. My best recommendation for this is if you had to use the bathroom or change etc, tell the DJ what you are about to do and how long you'll be gone so he won't start without you.

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Brendan, I know how it feels to shoot a reception that has no itinerary. I shot a wedding last July, during the cake cutting, the couple's daughter decided to make a speech. I asked the couple to hold the cake cutting but before I can set-up to shoot the speech its was done. Short & Sweet as they say. It went on the entire night. Couple wanted me to shoot them mingling with each guest at the table, another unannounced speech. It is frustrating say the least.

My advice would be to contact the other videographer ASAP, hopefully he will lend you the missing footage if he indeed shot it. I would have advice the couple that night that you were not there to capture the bouquet toss, sometimes they'll just shrug it off or they can ask the DJ to repeat the toss.

My 2 cents

Call the guy and ask for the footage. He works for the band and the band leader should be working with the photographer and videographer on any special moment. I shot a wedding on Sunday and the photographer was no where to be found for the cake cutting. I held up the cake cutting so we could find the photographer. We all work together.