Ethan Cooper
July 28th, 2009, 08:41 AM
(honestly, this is about vDSLR's)
I've been struggling lately with my growing contempt of my former love interest. For the sake of this conversation we'll call her Niki.
Niki started out looking really good to me, sure she wasn't quite as good looking as her Japanese cousin (Candi) but she was pretty in her own way and I loved her for that. Unfortunately after spending more and more time with her there were flaws that became apparent, annoying and just plain difficult to overlook any further. Then Candi had some work done and suddenly a few flaws they shared that had made me feel a little better about being with Niki were gone and my feeling of resentment began to arise. I mean if Candi could fix some of her flaws fairly easily why did Niki refuse even after I made it clear that they bothered me and could seriously affect our relationship?
It's difficult to feel stuck in a bad relationship but I've got a lot invested in this already, it would cost me dearly to get out and make a run at her cousin. I also have to confess that I'm still here with that woman because my pride won't allow me to admit that I was wrong all along, part of me is still hoping she'll change, that things will get better even though deep down inside I know nothing is going to be any different tomorrow.
Part of this is my fault as well for trying to make her something she's not, projecting my expectations on her and asking her to meet them. That's on me. When seen in this light, maybe all this is all my fault, maybe my own selfishness is to blame.
Why do I say it's my own selfishness? Well, if I'm being completely honest with myself when I'm laying in bed at night I wish Niki was Scarlet her American second cousin. I knew about Scarlet before I met Niki, even saw a picture or two and was completely enthralled with everything I was hearing. She was my dream girl, but she was untouchable, you could even say unavailable and it made me want her more. So when I got involved with Niki it was really Scarlet I wanted all along. Honestly, Scarlet is probably the only one out there who can really live up to what I'm looking for. It's just wrong of me to expect Niki or Candi to be Scarlet and that would explain my feelings of contempt and disgust when I look at them but I had to fill my need for someone and took what I could get at the time.
That's my situation and I think many of you are in the same boat. In the mean time I guess we can only do as the old song says, "if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with"
I've been struggling lately with my growing contempt of my former love interest. For the sake of this conversation we'll call her Niki.
Niki started out looking really good to me, sure she wasn't quite as good looking as her Japanese cousin (Candi) but she was pretty in her own way and I loved her for that. Unfortunately after spending more and more time with her there were flaws that became apparent, annoying and just plain difficult to overlook any further. Then Candi had some work done and suddenly a few flaws they shared that had made me feel a little better about being with Niki were gone and my feeling of resentment began to arise. I mean if Candi could fix some of her flaws fairly easily why did Niki refuse even after I made it clear that they bothered me and could seriously affect our relationship?
It's difficult to feel stuck in a bad relationship but I've got a lot invested in this already, it would cost me dearly to get out and make a run at her cousin. I also have to confess that I'm still here with that woman because my pride won't allow me to admit that I was wrong all along, part of me is still hoping she'll change, that things will get better even though deep down inside I know nothing is going to be any different tomorrow.
Part of this is my fault as well for trying to make her something she's not, projecting my expectations on her and asking her to meet them. That's on me. When seen in this light, maybe all this is all my fault, maybe my own selfishness is to blame.
Why do I say it's my own selfishness? Well, if I'm being completely honest with myself when I'm laying in bed at night I wish Niki was Scarlet her American second cousin. I knew about Scarlet before I met Niki, even saw a picture or two and was completely enthralled with everything I was hearing. She was my dream girl, but she was untouchable, you could even say unavailable and it made me want her more. So when I got involved with Niki it was really Scarlet I wanted all along. Honestly, Scarlet is probably the only one out there who can really live up to what I'm looking for. It's just wrong of me to expect Niki or Candi to be Scarlet and that would explain my feelings of contempt and disgust when I look at them but I had to fill my need for someone and took what I could get at the time.
That's my situation and I think many of you are in the same boat. In the mean time I guess we can only do as the old song says, "if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with"