What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong! All those soft cam bags don't have enough padding. Even worse, they're not water proof. Good tripods are expensive. Good filters are impossible to get in those small thread sizes. Oh, and good filters are expensive too. MiniDV tapes are not created equally, and you can't mix the damn things unless you want screwed-up heads.

WHAT?? You already know all this and you want me to get to the beef? Okay, you asked for it. :)

Cams. Yes, what all miniDV dreams (and nightmares) are about. The cam: the mighty tool which brings us fame as film makers, recognition, cheeks, and much much more, like something to bitch about. Some folk need a cam for shooting fine deep shadows and dork blacks, other folk need a cam for shooting sneaky stuff like spying on people (while little ol' me just need a cam to catch someone at their worst, or best). It's just too bad, I think, that I hate most of the new cams and I already have cheeks. Furthermore, I don't give a damn about recognition and I don't have dreams. Well, maybe that's not quite right. I do have one or two each night---I dream about cheeks; I dream about falling off a cliff; I dream about dead people that I used to know when they were not dead. (Brains.... More brains---kinda like watching the same scary re-runs every day on my 20 inch 4:3 Emerson color TV with the built-in VCR which I got for free when I bought the new furniture about 7 months ago at a real good deal. :):):)

Why do I hate new cams? Okay, I'll tell you. Cams can't do a number of things, and I want them to do these things before I can get to like them. Here's my beef list:

I want cams to shoot in low light, very low light
I want the manual controls and auto too
I want better audio, a lot better
Side loaders, please
More zoom, please
Silent running cams, and no zoom noise
I want atomic batteries good for at least 69 years (oops)
I want cams to see through cloths
I want cams to see ghosts

Is this too much to ask for?


Disclaimer: not intended for the ironically challenged. :-)

Now all you need is an editing system that does the editing for you. With limitless storage, of course.

;-)

Sony filled your second last quota a few years back when they put out that Nightshot model that could see through certain types of clothing with the right filter. The "feature" was "fixed" quickly. I don't know too much more about them, except all the peeping tom/upskirt type porno sites bought them all up.

I think that was the Sony PC5. A friend of mine owns one, I should ask him about it. :)

Dudeness, just about any camera can videotape ghosts! If you can see 'em you can videotape 'em.

I agree that the current offerings of 100X + zoom is simply not enough. Shouldn't you be able to have actors in Japan performing a scene while you are videotaping them from California? It's only reasonable. I want optical zoom up to 32,768X and then digital zoom all the way so a single pixel fills the entire screen, but still looks natural. You forgot to mention image stabilization. It should be rock steady at maximum zoom even if handheld while riding a horse.

I'm not sure what you mean by "side loaders", but I'd like to see a slot loading camera that accepts tapes the same way VCRs do. The tape also needs to last at least 8 hours (per tape). There should also be a built in DVD player and surround system in case you get bored, and also double as a cell phone.

Lastly you forgot to mention the price. It should be no more than $250 MSRP. Not sure how that translates into Canadian money... probably 80 pesos or so.

By the way, what do you mean by "cheeks"? Is that some sort of Canadian thing?

By the way, what do you mean by "cheeks"? Is that some sort of Canadian thing?It's cheeky slang that I made up so I don't get kicked off the boards. :)

I personally don't know why MiniDV tape is so popular, it won't stick to anything. I actually went out to the dollar store and bought some really cheap tape and that worked great. Fuji really needs to get their act together on the adhesive front.

I had the same problem with the "dry" Fuji miniDV tape, but then I discovered the "wet" cheap stuff, it stuck just fine.

Another neat feature for miniDV cams would be a laser light, to help quide the cam to the subject you are shooting. It would be especially useful in war zones. :)


-----------------------------------------------------
One man's junk is another man's treasure; so give me your junk. :)

I want cams that record a choice of formats (DV25, DV50, DV100++whatever, MPEG2, MPEG4 ) to FlashCard or microdrive, with more than one card running in parallel. I want the next generation of CF cards to be here now, with double or quad wide data paths. This is the path to reduce the Capture stage significantly. Record to CF *and* optionally record to tape at the ssame time. Capture from the CF would reduce the capture stage.

I want cams that store scene index info for several miniDV cassettes, including the start and end images.

I want cams with progressive output so I can get the best view on the big screen TV after my event. Or, I want TVs that convert Firewire or whatever output to their native format.

I want cams that actually record all four audio inputs simultaneously in the 12-bit/h3 KHz audio mode, if need be with USB2 or Firewire for audio input from an external multiplexer.

I want cams with nice histograms for exposure control , and even some automatic exposure and color balance functions.

I want cams with digital hum remover notch filters.
I want cams that show a real-time audio frequency response and help identify hums with 1 Hz resolution and notch them all out before recording to tape.

I'd settle for a 16:9 high def camcorder with 20+ optical zoom (the more the better) that allows for NL editing and exporting back out to HD on the miniDV tape....3CCD of course (add-on lenses a plus)


...anyone listening???

Sounds simple but I bet no one nails these features with the newer models coming out!

HD is good, but I'd prefer a stock wide-angle lens ( Like 20mm in 35mm terms). BUT no tape, please. It's time to go ALL Digital: flash, harddrive, static RAM, whatever (Gints' right) (I'm tired of tape dropouts, dirty heads, wet heads, etc.). Oh, and might as well ask for highspeed wireless connections to the NLE.
OH, and full manual control with manual zoom and focus like on a 35mm SLR.
(And everything that everyone else asked for.)

I want my choice of colours and two extra sized cupholders.

I want a cam with an attached seat. In addition to providing for the comfort and safety of the operator, it would eliminate the need for all those expensive steadi-things.

I'm also thinking built-in CD player so I can listen to my favorite music while filming.

Will

I want a camera that lactates for those thirsty shoots...

Zac

Let's add a satellite dish too so we can watch our favorite shows while we're shooting - oh and of course picture-in-picture for the LCD.

Oh and let's put in a microwave too so we can make popcorn.

Let's take it one step further, Will. Make it a seat in a vehicle with the computer on board, camera out front, eliminating the steady things; have robotic arms that "hold" the camera and could get any type/length/height of shot; and, of course, surround sound, CD player, Microwave, TV, comfortable seating and women would be provided with the "DVehicle." Damn, that's not a bad idea at all...i'll get right on that!

This DVehicle sounds pretty sweet so far!! And of course, make it small enough to use indoors.

The ideal cam needs to be like a piece of military equipment in that there is the basic module and then you can add to it to your specific needs. For instance, it would come with a basic EVF and lens, but ..... and this is the beauty, you can upgrade the EVF to a B&W with all the bells and whistles. You could add all types of lens (O.K., al la XL-1s), you can add external mics (al la DVX-100), and you can add a shoulder stock (al la AK-47, er ah or something like that).

If you want to keep it basic, you can. But if you want to make upgrades then that would be possible too. Oh yes, and the basic model needs 1/2" chips.

It's possible.

Nick

Aw, c'mon guys, this thread is getting completely ridiculous. It's one thing to ask for a few minor cam add-ons like cup holders and seats, but this DVehicle concept is just a complete fantasy. And armor? There's no place for this sort of junk in a professional forum.

Let's try to get this back on a more realistic plane.

Plane. Hmmm......

Will

Will,

See forum topic: And Now, For Something Completely Different... > The TOTEM Poll: Totally Off Topic, Everything Media.

I think the "completely ridiculous" fits fine in "Totally Off Topic." We are still talking media, albeit a bit creative, it's still media. Why squash a dreamer? And, why not explore your creative side...go with this plane concept, go with it man.

...you know what they say, "One man's 'junk' is another man's treasure!!!"

<<<-- Originally posted by Will Fastie : Aw, c'mon guys, this thread is getting completely ridiculous ... this DVehicle concept is just a complete fantasy. And armor? -->>>

Oh just you wait Fastie, one day we'll all be riding around in our SUV camcorders! And then, and then ... you'll ... you'll ... well, I guess you really won't care :-p


... And somehow, in some weird strange way, this thread is still on topic ...

For me the six most useful features would be:

1) Really really Low light
2) See through :):)
3) 100X optical zoom
4) Atomic batteries
5) Automatic lock and zoom for cheeks
6) Ability to record ghosts

This is my short list, with 1 new request (#5).

Frank in your dream that your falling off a cliff are you by any chance holding on to a broken video camera? That would give the dream some real meaning!

Awwww geeeez Frank, there is one technology that you neglected to mention which I cannot understand why it has not yet been implemented on all cameras. The Doze-Alert http://www.doze-alert.com. Now, that would certainly help me to cut down on my RedBull intake!

Give the people what they want I say!

- don

I take it back. For Frank to be safe when operating his "Peeping Tom DV100x" cam in "NoLight" mode, he will need the protection of armor plus the speed of the DVehicle in order to make his escape.

Will

Bob, I'm not hanging on to any cam---I thought everyone had this dream. It's a very common dream it seems, from what I've read.

Regarding "spy videos," this is big business. People are always faking injury, cheating on their other 1/2, etc.

Don, now that's some useful device! (for driving)

I don´t want all those hi-tech impossible stuff you want.
I will settle for a Cam that you can rub three times and some Guy or Girl will come out of some purple smoke and then call me "master" and grant me wishes.

Make that just a Girl.

How about a camera with a "Magic 35mm Film Look" button, or a one that digitaly reproduces a 5 man lighting/grip team in camera.

One man's junk is another man's chinese fishing boat.

Hey just to squash one little piece of phony nastalgia... that whole Sony "see-thru" thing is GROSSLY over-represented... it never worked like those pictures you see on the net... the whole concept is actually quite simple and you can pretty easily get a BETTER "see-thru" camera for a lot less then any Sony with nightshot FROM ANY YEAR... the fact is that it just doesn't work like the pics... I KNOW... I tried it... many times... er, no not really, uh... I mean a FRIEND kept trying it over and over again... A ccd is more sensitive to IR energy then the human eye... way more... anyway, the nightshot mode engaged an internal IR filter and lowered the shutter... old models allowed manual shutter/iris control but new ones don't... anyway, the idea behind "see-thru" is that infrared energy passes thru "shear" material... so if a sun-tanning beauty is laying out and then jumps into a pool for a second... the temperature difference between the hydrated swimsuit and warm nip... er skin... makes the definition of the object come out... hereby appearing to be see-thru whereas the cam is just picking up the difference in infrared radiation... lesson over. And trust me, even this rarely works... depends on EXACT condtions... If you spent as much time trying to GET the girls you were trying to film you'd have more success seeing what's on the other side of that clothing... as far as "see-thru"... don't believe the hype. It's a bunch of guys clinging to a once-in-a-while fluke.

Hey so how's that dv plane coming?

I can't believe that in this day and age, no one has mentioned the need for the following basic features:

1. Front and side impact airbags in case the tripod tips over.
2. 300 meter water resistant capability with built in oxygen tank for underwater shooting.
3. Sunglasses capable of wirelessly receiving video signals eliminating the need for view finders and field monitors.
4. An onboard adjustable directional/omni directional microphone capable of isolating someone’s whisper in a major sporting event.

We should boycott all manufactures until these simple and basic demands are met. No compromises.

PS.
Frank, your camera can see ghosts, you just need the optional goggles in order to preview them.
I too believe that this should come standard with the every camera purchase.
Despair not. You too can be a proud owner of these magic goggles. If you or any of you fine ladies and gentlemen are interested, I sell these for $24.95 shipping included. Great deal!
Act now as these won't last.
Check out my current post of the private classified forum.
You won't be able to get these at EBay.