Hello!

I've finally found time to throw together a business card for my business and I'm looking for opinions.

First, what do you think of the design, overall?

Second, should I have the sword in the background (I've attached two versions with and without to compare)? I just can't decide if it is distracting or not.

Thanks!

I ilke it better without the sword

I ilke it better without the sword

Me too........... Although my business card is a little busy. So I guess I have little room to talk.

Without the sword.

With the sword you're not sure where to look and some of the text is difficult to read.

Ok - I was thinking that too, but I liked the sword so well I was hoping it was just me... Oh well - here is another version. I've changed the text to black as well to help it stand out from the BG.

I don't hate the sword, but I'd suggest making it more like a watermark, or at least much lower opacity.

The film strip is now distracting to me. (background, not the horizontal strip)

Your Name and the phone number should be larger/BOLD. I've got old eyes, and when I look at a business card, I want to see the NAME and the CONTACT jump out at me.

And losing the sword was the right choice. (Hey, I made my LIVING with a sword, so I'm partial to them too... but it was distracting/clutter)

The film strip is now distracting to me. (background, not the horizontal strip)

Really? Because it doesn't seem at all distracting to me. Anyway, I made a minor change to it, so it should be at least a BIT better now. I can't really take down the opacity any further or the lighter part of the film strip would disappear.

EDIT: I just realized that, since I'm not working on a calibrated monitor right now, the film BG could be a lot more visible than I think it is. I've added a second version with the BG opacity reduced.


Your Name and the phone number should be larger/BOLD. I've got old eyes, and when I look at a business card, I want to see the NAME and the CONTACT jump out at me.


Suggestion dually taken - why didn't I think of that? ;)

I still think it's too busy with the film strip. Remember it's a business card, you want things easy to read.

Dale,

I don't know how old your are, but I'm in my fifties. I have 20-14 vision at a distance, but like most people my age, I carry around 'reading classes' for anything that's within an arms length. The easier you make it for me to find your name, and number (or email, if that's your primary contact) the more likely I am to actually USE that business card.

In other words, I'd make your name and contact BIGGER as well as bolder. Seriously, take it from a baby boomer, this is important.

Thank you all for you kind critique!

I realized last night that I hadn't included my email, and the design as it was didn't have room to add it without looking crowded. To remedy, I redesigned. This one isn't as busy and features larger text across the board (except for the logo).

I'm still not sure about the text color - what I would really like to do is make all the text black except for the company description, which would be light-colored. However, with the varying light and darkish background, I haven't figured out a way to make that feasible. Instead, I've made the description black and the rest brown, which kind of works. I'll have to experiment some more.

Also keep in mind that small text is easier to read in print than it is on a computer screen.

This is a much better design. Less cluttered, the tip of the sword points down towards your name and the contact info, background is not as distracting. You're almost there.

Much better on the latest design, I like it, easy to read and still creative.

Yeah, much better, might increase the critical contact font a little, but I like it, the gradient on the film is really subtle and nice.

I also like it better without the background sword. I do like the way you dot your Is and cross your Ts. ;)

Thanks a lot, guys! I increased the smaller fonts by half a point and tweaked the brown part of the glow behind the description a bit. So, unless I come up with any new brainstorms in the next day or so, off to the printer it goes!

Paul: Let's just hope prospective clients share your excellent taste in I's and T's. ;)

D-Man

I know the "Prop." stands for proprietor, but I wonder if I would advertise myself as a "Prop." in anything related to the film industry. I like the overall design, though!

- Martin

Haha, you're right, Martin. I'll change it to the full word.

Instead of Proprietor, consider "Owner" or "President" or "Executive Director"

Instead of Proprietor, consider "Owner" or "President" or "Executive Director"

You've got some great advice here, ad like the other comments, I'll add my vote for the latest version (not like you should give too much weight to random people on the internet).

I also think "owner" or "President" makes more sense than prop. abbreviated or otherwise.

Ok, here's the (hopefully) final version.

You guys have been a huge help - thank you!

I like it, looks very nice. The sword is still a little freaky, but like my business name, it's probably a conversation starter.

Thanks, Steven.

The sword is there to stay. :) It's part of the logo design, and I created it that way intentionally. The sword is motif or symbol of my business, and it morphs into the film - moving image is my "weapon."

On a side note, in light of the recent RED discussion, it is interesting how universally symbolic a 35mm strip/roll of film is of moving pictures in general. It somehow gets the point across better than, say, a MiniDV tape would.

Cheers!

D-Man

Looks like a keeper Dale. " The Pen is mightier than the sword, but the blade is longer than the lens...?" or something.

You're right about the film being the universal symbol of filmmaking. You still see old graphics of dial up phones and hand-sets for telephones as well. I mean, a cell phone looks like a deck of cards, right?

Please excuse my immaturity, but the first thing I thought was "it all depends what Joy looks like".

Overall, the design is very well done--well laid out. However, I'm having a serious problem with the sword turning into film. The sword is a symbol of strength. This sword peters out into a flimsy strip of film, destroying its strength and usefulness.

Symbols carry a great deal of subconscious inplications that do have an impact (but "What kind?" is the questions!), so don't under estimate what the potential client's reaction maybe to such a "negative" symbol.

Just one guy's opinion with a degree in graphic design.

Jay,

Thanks for the compliments and critique. Just so you know, this business card was printed several weeks ago, so critiques of this particular design are a little moot now.

However, since you talked about my logo, I'll answer that one. You make a good point. However, I think the design says more about the film: in itself, a flimsy piece of celluloid - at Mountjoy! Studios, a powerful weapon and tool. However, you're the one with the degree - you may be right. I'll think about it.

Thanks!